Teacher married to non teacher

[allsummereverysummer]

It’s on my mind at the moment that I’m responsible for childcare every holiday until they are of an age they don’t really need it …

I know that’s obvious. I think it’s just I do the lions share of everything as it is. Feels like a long time to have them over the summer tbh.

That's fine. It's fine to say omg 6 weeks???

So why don't you ask their dad to take 3 weeks of that off as annual leave?

I don't understand why someone would have children if they don't want to be with them. Such an alien concept. And yes, I'm a teacher.

That’s OK. We all have things we struggle to understand.

:) nicely done

Ridiculous…really. Get a grip. Parenting is hard, for everyone. You at least do not need to worry about childcare, you work part time, you do get some time to yourself every week…
i unticked to watch this thread. Too upsetting

Agreed. Best come back ever.

I hate it when anyone is brace enough to ask for advice and other people start tearing them apart. Like the OP isn’t feeling shit enough!!

All the anti-teacher rubbish gives yet another reason for a Bollocks button to sit alongside the Thanks.

Don’t be ridiculous. Of course parents can share when they are struggling with their kids.

I’ve read the whole thread and didn’t see anywhere why dh can’t book a couple of weeks leave in the summer. Yes it will still be hard at times but at least there will be two of you.

It is hard work op and very full on, undoubtedly, but I do think it’s unusual to feel as strongly about the holidays as you. The fact you are already looking ahead to next year and the year after with dread is worrying.

How are you feeling about life in general? Your dh, your career? What do you do with your time off in the week? Would you prefer to work full-time and have your dc in childcare?

I don't understand why someone would have children if they don't want to be with them. Such an alien concept. And yes, I'm a teacher.

You need to ask the DH that, OP is with them plenty!

I actually find teaching reasonably easy. I’m not as good with very little children. We’re at a tricky stage where one can’t walk and isn’t necessarily happy about it. It will change, of course. But I do sometimes, occasionally wake up on a Saturday morning and am a bit daunted at the full on days that lie ahead and it occurred to me I’ll have that … alone and for a loooong time. I don’t think I ‘feel strongly’ about it, just that it’s a bit knackering.

Person who hid the thread - I get NO time to myself in the week! 😂

I am becoming reasonably certain the DH is either a workaholic and doesn't take leave or takes his leave to go on cycling holidays with his mates

You work a three day week and are wondering how you'll cope looking after your own lovely children for six weeks?

I work a 3 day week & have a month off in the Summer. If I couldn’t leave dc with their dad & gps I would be tearing my hair out!

I get you, OP. It's relentless. But try to focus on the joyous moments. When I'm in the throws of utter chaos with my 3 and want to cry, I stop myself and remember that I'm their life, they rely and look up to me and they're so damn cute and won't be like that forever. I know one day I'll look back and I'll want to give anything to have these years again (rose tinted glasses and all that!). Mine are 9, 6 and 1.5 now, and I've not had a work-free, child-free day for 9 years! Neither has my husband! Maybe the odd one for a wedding or hen do, but that's it. We're not teachers, but every single day of annual leave is spent with the kids.

Parenting is hard and it comes easier to others than some people. I know mums that’s said they really didn’t enjoy the under 5s years and OP I’m guessing you might be the same. It will and does get easier.

I have a summer club that my child can attend before they start reception, they just need to be 4 years old. There is possible childcare options so hunt around, some preschools have started doing holiday clubs which could be an option.

For long holidays make a plan, look at free activities and paid activities. Make a weekly plan on what you can do each day (park, library, trips out).

Give yourself a few days off to clean / washing / run errands in the morning then self care in the afternoon for some holidays.

It’s ok to struggle and feel overwhelmed. I’m a
none teacher who wishes I had more time off with my kids so much I am considering moving into teaching once they are a bit older (I know it’s intense during the term). It’s not all bad but it’s ok to say you find it overwhelming.

There are several of us asking now - why is your husband so absent and why can’t he take them/annual leave to do his part?

I’ve answered re dh a few times @spriots . He’s at work and generally don’t really see him Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. Mondays and Fridays he sometimes (not always) wfh. They are a bit easier as he can help in the morning and can share bath and bed. There kind of does come a point where you can’t keep repeating yourself tbh.

I am becoming reasonably certain the DH is either a workaholic and doesn't take leave or takes his leave to go on cycling holidays with his mates

I said it pages ago but it’s a DH issue 😆

@allsummereverysummer why can’t he have annual leave? Why doesn’t he help on the weekends?

There kind of does come a point where you can’t keep repeating yourself tbh.

Its really not clear why hence myself & other posters dont understand.

But what about the annual leave?

Yes, please answer the annual leave question @allsummereverysummer because it seems to be a huge crux in why you’re not getting any break what so ever.

He does. I literally say a few pages ago they both have activities that we tag team so he takes DS to rugby while DD naps or vice versa, later I’ll take DD swimming while he takes DS to the park or whatever. Like I say I can’t keep saying the same over and over.

Why can’t he take annual leave - this year because we’ve used it. I was on maternity leave so for the first and only time we went on holiday in term time. Next year I am sure he will but will probably only be a week. Still leaves 5 weeks.

And honestly it gets harder at primary school so you really need to trust DH with the dc. Or are you going to still do everything?