Teacher married to non teacher

[allsummereverysummer]

It’s on my mind at the moment that I’m responsible for childcare every holiday until they are of an age they don’t really need it …

I know that’s obvious. I think it’s just I do the lions share of everything as it is. Feels like a long time to have them over the summer tbh.

I saw it as a massive perk of the job. It really does get easier year by year; young children are difficult. My DW also travels a lot with work, but arranged annual leave so that I had an uninterrupted week off at some point which I used to travel (solo), and I very much appreciated that.

Me too. I'm jealous of my partner having the kids all summer! And I only get half that time. But I know we have that luxury and can afford merlin passes and everything in between to keep them well entertained.

Hearing a teacher complaining about having too much time off to spend with their children, is a new one. Having young children is tiring, but hardly unexpected.

It gets easier OP. Some people really love the baby & toddler stage but other parents enjoy the primary school years or the teenage years more.

Personally, Once they were at school I found we could do things that were more likely to be mutually enjoyable like go for lunch, see a more interesting film or a musical instead of Peppa Pig etc, go round a museum, play more interesting board games etc.

Having 2 preschoolers all day, no DH through the week and no family around is tough going, so don’t let anyone make you feel guilty! Sounds like you are doing an awesome job!

It’ll be easier when one is at school and you just have one at a time to run after. After being used to having 2 all the time having just one actually feels like a break!

I’m just loving all the wide eyed ‘gosh I LOVE spending time with my children’ 😂

You can have too much of a good thing.

We do go out: we go to farms, soft play, role play cafes, parks, aquariums, national trust places, but it is a tad stressful, not least because of packing food and drinks and changes of clothes and you always forget something and have to buy it, or someone drops an ice cream within thirty seconds of buying it.

We are at a funny stage anyway, the baby can’t walk but doesn’t really like being confined to her pushchair, the preschooler likes to run, and jump, and fly. DD is no longer content to sit back and watch and wants to be part of the action but she can’t really go on anything at the park apart from the swings. We do a lot but organised group activities are winners at this age; they don’t tend to run over the summer though.

I am an imperfect parent and appreciate peace. I just recognise the days can be very long and very lonely. That isn’t blaming DH, for those who have taken my post that way, but his hours are long.

Thanks @Helar , that was such a nice post

I think something to hold onto here is - this phase won't last long.

Obvious question - why do you find it tough?

Cross post.

I know it's not all fun and games and isn't easy, but in all seriousness, what do people expect it to be like?

I hope so. I’m hoping that by next summer things will be easier - I do remember intensity wise things eased off after 2 in some respects. DH and I actually had a couple of date nights as we could get DS to bed and then a babysitter but then we had DD 😂

Is this serious?

Next summer will be easier.

Yes

It is tough. Especially with a DH away and no family.
OP ignore the haters. You'll feel the benefit in 2/3 years. For now hang on in there!!

To be fair OP you are only having them 3 days a week and then 2 days to do nothing with them.

Whilst I understand you may find 3 days tiring, you are in an extremely fortunate position.
Remember you don't have to go out every day. Cars, TV, trains, stuff in the garden all mean little mess and minimal effort. I used to love the Orchard Tree games as well.
Don't put so much pressure on yourself and enjoy.

Why did you have kids if you can't even bear to spend one day with them?

I don't think there are "haters". Just people with differing opinions.

There are some with a different opinion who politely express that opinion and there are some who have been extremely rude and if I was in a different position could have found their posts very upsetting. Telling someone they clearly don’t want / love their children is extremely cruel and spiteful.

Teaching is hard and stressful. I couldn't do it. The contracted hours are only the minimum and it is emotionally draining and difficult.

But come on...

You work a three day week and are wondering how you'll cope looking after your own lovely children for six weeks?

I’m a teacher and DP isn’t. He picks up a lot of the slack during term time so I do it during the holidays.

DC are older now so when I go into work to get ready, I sometimes take DC if they can be helpful. Otherwise, we rely on play dates or DP will WFH so I can get on.

I stayed in teaching so holiday care was easier as we have no family nearby to help.

I think it IS unrelenting when they are little but once DC are in upper juniors they become much more independent and the grind of keeping them entertained really lessens.

OP, what did you want from this thread? Maybe we can offer advice?

I totally get where you're coming from. I loved having my children home in the holidays but 6 weeks is hard, keeping them entertained and the endless meals, snacks, drinks, having their friends over etc! By the end of the 6 weeks I was so ready for them to go back to school!! Can DH take some leave to give you a break so you can nip off and meet friends or do your hobby - or just book into a hotel for the night, have a massage and sleep! You've got your hands full with 3 little ones and teaching is exhausting - you deserve a bit of a break too!

Yes, that is correct. I don’t doubt that this is a character failing of mine but I do find them Hard Work. However, it isn’t this summer troubling me so much as the one after - and after that.

After that point while I will have them both all summer I will have ‘time off’ in term time.

All parents have their children their entire holiday time don’t they?

I am a retired teacher and agree with your comments. I always looked forward to every school holiday to enjoy the time off with my children and not have to worry about the usual routine.

@allsummereverysummer I am a teacher. I work full time. I get zero time to myself. Although my husband doesn’t work away like yours so everything is so much easier. I’m so happy we don’t have to pay for childcare when we’re off but Christ I totally get where you’re coming from. Being in school with 30 kids is so much easier! The 6 weeks are going to be filled with some enjoyment but mostly exhausting!

My reply doesn’t help you, but your post has helped me to realise that I’m not the only one who feels this way.

I don’t think it’s ever easy posting on mumsnet because you get the “perfect parents” I suspect these parents are the ones that always want “a quick chat” each morning at the school door. 😂

I left teaching recently but I have an almost two year old and a three year old. I worked such long hours in term time that I loved being to spend the holidays with them. Granted it was full on at times but my husband always did his fair share when not at work. We always made sure we broke it down by having a week off together as a family in the middle of the holidays and I did of course always have lots of work to catch up with over the summer so would usually put them into nursery 3 or 4 times over the 6 week period. We would also put them into nursery once on a day when my husband was off so we could have a date day. We are lucky to have a very flexible nursery. If you’re finding it tough, why not send them into nursery for one or two days a week to break the week up.