To ask if you free birthed?

[36weeks4days]

I am 36 weeks pregnant and planning on a hospital birth I am hoping for as natural as possible with as little intervention as possible

my friend was discussing her labour plans she is considering a free birth. She birthed at home last time.

AIBU to ask if you have ever free birthed? Why you chose that and how it went?

I don't know anybody IRL who has had one, she is due after I've had my son so won't be able to use her experience but my mind is now wondering whether it's something to explore.

I would love to have had a free birth but made sure I had access to medical care because things can and do happen. I had my babies at home, three could safely have been free birthed, but the last one was an out of the blue massive PPH. The last one is why I never free birthed. You never know and I think you'd be foolish to do it.

No thanks. I’d like to give myself and my baby the best chance of survival so why would I do something so reckless when I have free access to modern medicine?

Absolutely no fucking way...there's a reason why there are many professional midwife's...and doctors at hand if needed

a friend of a friend apparently did this with her second child, they were lucky it turned out fine but I think it is hugely irresponsible.

Yes in a couple of states it’s illegal for a qualified midwife to attend a home birth. So you can free birth at home with zero help and no laws are being broken, but bring in a qualified health professional to assist you and suddenly it’s illegal.

I find it interesting how midwives aren’t a thing in much of America and seen as a bit ‘out there’ and alternative. The USA seems to have a highly medicalised attitude to birth but not great mortality rates despite this.

“Excited101 · Yesterday 21:55
It’s one of the most selfish things a woman can do. There’s a pretty high chance everything will be fine, but anyone who knows anything about the ‘women dying in childbirth’ stats from history could tell you that without medical attention, the chance of death for mother and/or baby is also fairly likely.”

This with bells on. No mother who is properly considering her baby’s wellbeing would try to do this.

And I know of someone who tried this and died: her baby lived but she haemorrhaged after the labour and died because she was in the middle of nowhere. I also know of a couple of cases where pregnant mothers refused medically advised caesareans and the babies did not survive labour. It is unnecessary and totally irresponsible and it makes me very angry when this kind of stuff happens.

As another PP said - most birthing mothers want labour to be as easy and natural as possible but a sensible mother does not take unnecessary risks with her life or that of her child just for some idealised notion of a perfect, natural labour.

I’m a fan of properly managed home births - didn’t try it myself but know of many successful ones. But no - free birthing is selfish and irresponsible. Why would anyone take unnecessary risks with their baby’s or their own health?

I will add that though most women I know had positive hospital experiences, not all did. The understaffing issues at hospitals contribute to poor care. Make sure you’re being checked on regularly; if something doesn’t feel right speak up, ask questions, and don’t be fobbed off. This goes for all health issues.

Always advocate for yourself; you know your body best, and make sure your birthing partner is on hand to do that too.

Remember - labour is just your baby’s arrival into the world - at most it will last a few days and hopefully be much quicker than that. You’ll have endless opportunities after your baby is born to be close to nature with them. You don’t need it during labour.

Free birthing 👉driving on the motorway without a seatbelt on yourself or your child.
Please don't do it.
Yes, medical trauma is real and horrific (been there, have the nightly night terrors to prove it) but not as horrific as potentially losing both your baby and/or your own life. For the babies whose mothers died how heartbreakingly awful must the knowledge be that their birth killed their mother?

I've had two home births - with a midwife!! - my son was a simple uncomplicated birth in the grand scheme of things, but my daughter (second born) would be dead if we hadn't had the expertise of the midwife and further assistance arrive shortly after.
A free birth is totally irresponsible in my opinion.

A woman in Ireland died free birthing 3 weeks ago

My friend has done it, twice. She is anti-establishment I many ways though. Her births were straightforward and her children healthy thank God.

I will also add - I had a retained placenta in both my births. I was wheeled off to theatre to have a spinal block and manual
removal of placenta. I couldn’t feel the bottom half of my body and it was bliss! If only I could who’ve had that during the birth…

If I was in the sticks I would have died of postpartum haemorrhage. No one has a clue if that could happen to them
and that’s the scary part. It won’t happen to most women but you can’t tell which is why I find it unhinged to have a home birth as you don’t know the complications that coudi
arise.

This could have been me if I had no medical intervention either....I don't think "freebirthing" is wise.
I get the hospital experience is often far from ideal for a variety of reasons, but we need to remember how medical intervention has impacted on survival rates of both women and babies.

My twins arrived via emergency C-section at 32 weeks.

We were in SCBU for several weeks, the Intensive Care section. During that time we saw many babies arrive, not all of them premature. Some full-term were incredibly lucky to have survived, and only did because of swift medical attention.

A home birth or free birth is all well and lovely….unless it isn’t. And then your decision to give birth away from the hospital may just be the reason your baby doesn’t make it.

I know that sounds harsh but I saw many shell-shocked parents during our time in SCBU. Many of whom weren’t high risk or expecting a difficult birth. Many hadn’t expected complications or to have a baby that needed emergency and urgent care.

If something goes wrong every minute counts. And it could happen to anyone. Being at home could make the difference between life and death, quite literally.

I didn’t know I was in labour til I was almost fully dilated but as luck happens, I was at the hospital anyway. My DS went into sudden distress and I was whipped into surgery. He very nearly didn’t make it. Reading the medical reports after was sobering - 14 years on, I still get really upset reading how touch and go it was.

Having seen so many babies who had a very traumatic birth, I can’t fathom why anyone would risk not being in a medical facility. And I say this as someone who’s a real nature-loving hippy. Your baby is too precious to risk- and you never think that it’s going to be your baby that has a problem.

Risking your own health or the life of your baby is madness. And that applies to all home births as well as free births.

Had a planned homebirth but the midwife arrived too late (my fault as didn't think I was in labour - my 3rd child 🤣). All went well however I would never plan not to have a medical professional present.

Maybe you should tell your friend about this poor woman who died on her fourth pregnancy due to a free birth. Tragic. www.thejournal.ie/maternal-deaths-ireland-2-6421898-Jun2024/

I'd never heard of this before, but the name sounds awful as it reminded me of free diving - where people dive as deep as they can in the sea without oxygen for as long as they can. Inevitably lots of them die. Absolutely stupid, but to do this at childbirth, risking your baby's life and you're own, to potentially have your partner or someone else raise your baby without you - especially if you've already got children - is the most selfish stupid thing I've ever heard of.
This doula in Ireland still doesn't sound apologetic even after her customer died, almost glorifying the poor woman's death, "she birthed with incredible power". WTH?
I think the rise of conspiracy theories and mistrust in public services since Covid etc has something to with it, but this woman had 3 children already, 2 via C-section, so really should've shown a bit more wisdom and gratitude about the medical profession who'd kept her and her babies alive. Heartbreaking for her partner and children and should be a sobering lesson to everyone considering this.

Yes there seems to be a belief that if you have had babies with no problems, then you ‘know what you are doing’ and won’t have problems with subsequent birth- but it’s rubbish. People don’t have back to back babies or haemorrhage because they don’t know what they are doing.

Im my mum’s 3rd- 2 totally normal no issue labours, then a sudden crash c-section with me (so sudden they knocked her out with chloroform on a cloth over her face as they ran down the corridor). No indication that it was remotely likely.

I was determined to be in hospital with mine for that reason and was- 30 odd hours of excellent peaceful care and water birthing in the pool… until baby got stuck, they couldn’t get a heart rate and it was off to surgery for forceps.

I can definitely see the appeal of this but the local hospitals to use are all quite far, the closest takes 45 minutes to get to in good traffic so the idea of a home birth scared me too much. In the end I had significant bleeding following a tear in my first 's birth and needed forceps intervention in my second so was in very risky situations and was glad of medical help.

I had a 'bad' experience with my first in that my baby got an injury. I still returned to that hospital for my second baby and had an all round positive experience. I am fit and healthy and both births needed intervention we could not have predicted. And I also needed a trip to theatre this time.

Free births are a regression. Up there with drinking unpasteurised milk straight from the cow 🙄

No I'd be dead. Silly woman if so as it's a huge risk to her and the baby. Things can go wrong very quickly.

I'm of the mind that this free birth fad is only adored and evangelised about by the terminally stupid or the terminally arrogant.

I absolutely wouldn't.
Both my births were classed as low risk, and I was booked into midwife led unit in the hospital for a low intervention birth with preference for water birth. Both times they ended in emergency forceps deliveries for different reasons, 2nd there wasn't even time for an epidural/local so I was cut without pain relief (with my consent), so no way would I be freebirthing or even home birthing. Although home birthing with a midwife is obviously the much safer of the 2 options

Technically yes twice although in hospital. There wasn't a free room on the labour ward and the staff were too busy the first time. Second time I was at least monitored for a bit before the midwife went off somewhere. I still very a bit angry now about those first two births of mine, I was luckier subsequent times.
It's frightening feeling abandoned when you're in so much pain and, yes, danger. Can't imagine actually choosing that. It would take a lot of arrogance and a feeling of superiority, I'd imagine, to go in with a mindset that nothing could possibly go wrong.