To ask if you free birthed?

[36weeks4days]

I am 36 weeks pregnant and planning on a hospital birth I am hoping for as natural as possible with as little intervention as possible

my friend was discussing her labour plans she is considering a free birth. She birthed at home last time.

AIBU to ask if you have ever free birthed? Why you chose that and how it went?

I don't know anybody IRL who has had one, she is due after I've had my son so won't be able to use her experience but my mind is now wondering whether it's something to explore.

"I am 36 weeks pregnant and planning on a hospital birth I am hoping for as natural as possible with as little intervention as possible."

If that is the kind of birth you're hoping for, OP, I'd suggest you plan for a home birth instead.

I have had an unintended free birth (or, more accurately, my 5th baby was born before the arrival of my midwives - their fault, not mine!)

It was actually my favourite birth; I was totally calm, baby was born (in the bath) so calm that she didn't even start breathing until I rubbed her down a bit - that part did freak my husband out slightly tbf.

I wouldn't consider a free birth with my first baby tho, OP. A home birth, yes.

Another one that very likely would be dead if I had, and 100% my son would have been. 2.5 day labour and they hit the dreaded red button on the wall and I was rushed to surgery, he was out in minutes. They saved our lives.

Didn't put me off for what it's worth, I have three beautiful children. All c sections mind. I would never have guessed it. Turns out I can deliver babies the "normal" route 🤷🏼

I had a free birth with my third. Was to be a home birth but the midwife and my birth support people didn't make it in time. Just me, on my own (no partner) and my baby.
Terrible treatment by a male OB during labor with my second baby led me to the home birth pathway then everything happened fairly quickly.
I felt so powerful afterwards. Everything was quick but so incredible; to feel my baby move down the birth canal as I was on my knees in the kitchen was amazing. Three pushes and she was in my arms.
I didn't understand at the time why the midwives needed a debrief after at the time. Then read some horrendous outcomes for mother and baby and realized just how lucky I was.
Being 45 mins from a hospital and on a farm with no neighbors and ambulance 25 mins away in rural Australia, in hindsight, was very high risk.

Talk to the midwife at your next appointment about your specific concerns. She’ll probably be able to put your mind at ease.

You may find that your friend is misinformed. If something has happened at the hospital, they may have taken steps to address it, and that sort of detail doesn’t tend to carry in the stories you hear.

I disagree with this, though. Nothing about the birth process requires the presence of another person. That's not to say it's not preferable to have a care-giver present, but it's certainly not needed/required/essential for a baby to be born.

I had an unintentional unattended birth and it was terrifying. I can't actually remember most of it, its blocked out. I remember saying tonDH the baby was coming, I remember the doctors rushing in a couple minutes later... but that's it for the next few hours.

DD2 was a planned homebirth. It was so much calmer with someone there to help!

It was suggested to me in lockdown when my home birth was cancelled. I considered it briefly but not for me. Why not consider a home birth rather than a free birth?

From google ….
The neonatal mortality rate per 10,000 births was 3.27 for hospital births, 13.66 for planned home births, and 27.98 for unintended/unplanned home births. These differences increased even further when patients were stratified for recognized risk factors.

either my child, me, or both of us would be dead without hospital help

No they invented hospitals for a reason

I'm in the emergency freebirth group on fb, and did all the courses and studied everything I needed to learn how to deal with most emergencies, should there be no midwives available OR they were being negligent and my husband and I could call the shots.

Best thing I ever did. I was able to make proper informed and final choices, advocate for myself and not be bullied by maternity services. I recommend every mother takes the course. You'd be surprised

I’m always bemused by people saying they’re ’aiming for as little intervention as possible’. Unless you’re booked in for an elective C-section, who does aim for intervention?

I’m also pregnant with my first and am I remotely tempted by a free birth? Fuck no.

In my mind it’s the same as sky diving. Also something that I’ve never done and has a high degree of risk. Would I do it for the first time on my own without the right equipment and experienced professionals? Also fuck no.

Your friends a basic idiot to consider a free birth.

She'll be happy to leave her 4 children motherless? With a dead sibling, because that's what can happen. Why on earth would you not do everything in your power to have a healthy baby

There is a reason women have generally always had someone with them during birthing.

Even before official midwives there was always an experienced woman in the village or town who was called upon to be there. DH’s Granny, now 101, told the story of her and her sister running in opposite directions when they were 7 and 8 to the two places they were most likely to find Mrs Maxwell when their mother went into labour.

Giving birth completely solo may work fine if your body does exactly as it should and the baby does exactly as it should and all the instincts kick in exactly as they should. However, at the point you find out one of those necessities is not in perfect alignment is not the point to start organising help. It’s the point the person with you uses their experience to give the help you need right then.

And how would you "manage" a massive haemorrhage, like Naomi James in Ireland?

It's insane.
4 of my 5 children would have died if I hadn't been in hospital and I would have died with 2 of them.
Why on earth would you take the chance?

Nothing about the birth process?

I think this poster meant that if there was a reason she couldn't get to hospital or a midwife to her, she wouldn't be completely in the dark.

I think that is very sensible, hope for the best, plan for the worst

I wanted to have as close to a free birth at home as possible. My midwife was lovely, happy to be present but minimally involved. She said she would only intervene if necessary.
It turns out it was necessary. Dd was stuck with her shoulder, back to back and became distressed. Her heart rate began to dip. I had to be rushed to hospital. DD was fine, I had to have surgery.
I’m going extremely thankful to my wonderful understanding midwife, and to everyone at the hospital who saved our lives.
People who free birth are irresponsible.

No thank goodness. When things went wrong at the end they did so very quickly and I might have survived but dd wouldn't have. I was unaware. The monitoring in hospital and very quick action from the team saved her. I'm very grateful to them.

First births are tough. 15 hours of hell ( ish) . My first had meconium aspiration ( drank his own poo) was a crash section and needed special care baby unit. Thank god for the experienced midwife who monitored me closely and raised the alarm. I have a perfect son thanks to her.

Exact same situation here. I was ultimately glad for my hospital births after we all arrived home.

A friend had an unplanned unassisted birth with her partner being guided over the phone by the emergency services. It is not worth the consequences if you plan to go it alone

Absolute stupidity, the risk to mother and baby is very high. If the mother wants to make that choice for herself fair enough, but it should absolutely warrant a social services referral if you're so blasé with your child's wellbeing. I have no faith anyone choosing to do this is a decent parent, or intelligent enough to be one without support.

I kind of did in that I had a hb planned but mW didn’t get there until last minute and 2nd midwife didn’t make it at all. My dd was born while the MW was frantically trying to get set up. I got in the pool and dd was born while mw had her back turned, I caught her and then dropped her in the pool where she was rescued by the MW. It was absolute chaos in one way but there was a couple of second of amazing calm when she was actually being born and I was the only one who noticed!

my 2nd hb went badly wrong though both MW were thankfully there that time around as ds needed resuscitation and I had a massive pph so I have experienced both outcomes and wouldn’t ever think about deliberately giving birth without a trained professional there.