To ask if you free birthed?

[36weeks4days]

I am 36 weeks pregnant and planning on a hospital birth I am hoping for as natural as possible with as little intervention as possible

my friend was discussing her labour plans she is considering a free birth. She birthed at home last time.

AIBU to ask if you have ever free birthed? Why you chose that and how it went?

I don't know anybody IRL who has had one, she is due after I've had my son so won't be able to use her experience but my mind is now wondering whether it's something to explore.

I've never understood the logic of disregarding hundreds of years of medical advancement for the sake of being trendy. It's just stupid.

I delivered my last baby by myself - I had a water birth and ‘caught’ her myself. The midwife was incredible, almost silent throughout and just let me and my body do what was needed. It wasn’t something I’d planned but is a very happy memory.

Baby before that was almost a shoulder dystocia at home. Low risk, normal pregnancy.

Would I free birth? Fuck no.

I lost one baby, I nearly lost another, she’s with me because of a big team of paediatricians who waited for her to come out and saved her life. No way on this planet would I recommend free birth. We are so lucky to have access to modern medicine, so many babies and mothers died throughout history for the want of it.

These birth fads are great to talk about in theory, but in those moments after you give birth and there is no cry time stands still, and the people you need most are the doctors in hospital. I can’t imagine the guilt of a free birth gone wrong, I really can’t.

My daughter is a healthy ten year old, she’s here because I had a medicalised birth. I’m grateful because that’s all that matters.

Please just go to hospital.

Definitely not something I would ever opt for, I wanted a natural birth (no pain relief) in hospital, assisted by a midwife. Had I opted for a free birth, due to complications, I dread to think what may have happened.

Yet even most of the posters criticising free births are pro home birth. I'm not sure why 4x the risk of death is absolutely fine but 9x is abhorrent and only crazy selfish women would do it.

I'm curious (genuinely) to know this group's advice on managing a cord prolapse, a footling breech, an eclamptic fit, and a post-partum haemorrhage.
I'm guessing for the latter your husband would attempt bimanual compression until you could get to hospital for a blood transfusion, but that's not exactly a straightforward manoeuvre without any training.

No idea why people would put themselves at risk like this. Modern medicine has come a long way and you'd be mad not to be near a hospital. I've done it twice and it was utterly shit both times, needed lifesaving assistance on both occasions

I’ve never heard of it as a concept.
but yes, unintentionally we had DC3 at home just my DP and I (and two children asleep upstairs!) due to a very fast labour.
luckily it was all fine, and actually a really good experience.

but I didn’t plan very much at all with the births.
No one can anticipate how painful it will be, for how long, and whether you can cope. You can’t foresee any number of complications. It’s good to have some ideas about preferences but a plan for a natural birth etc is just that, a preference.

I'm playing devil's advocate here but it's worth remembering that there genuinely are women whore so traumatised by horrendous medical birth experiences or other medical procedures that they're unable to trust any HCPs. There may be other factors at play, such as a background of previous low familial engagement with HCPs, or manipulative partners. WoC will sometimes be even less likely to trust HCPs, arguably with good reason. I'm just highlighting that there are women with very very different experiences out there, and not every single woman freebirthing (or attempting to) is doing it for social media likes or to jump on a bandwagon.

Disclaimer: I think it's hard to see it as anything other than a bad choice, but like all bad choices it's sometimes possible to see how people end up there.

FFS No
My DS1 had to be resuscitated at birth( cord prolapse) which could not have been foreseen so he would have died
Why would anyone risk that?

I considered this for my third, given that my first two were heavily managed due to chronic high BP. Thankfully I didn't do this as my baby was born with a condition that almost killed her and would certainly have done so had she not had immediate medical attention. Even a home birth would have ended the same way.

Modern medicine was developed for a reason. Like fuck would I not have a doctor there. I don't think one midwife is enough for a homebirth. No medics is absolute lunacy.

I'm not. I have never thought home births were a sensible idea. I know of several that went terribly wrong. I can't understand at all why any woman would take a single risk when it comes to the health of their baby. We are all at liberty to make our own choices, but home birth would never have been one of mine.

and funny how there isn't a "free vasectomy" or "all natural prostate biopsy" movement

always the women who are expected to martyr themselves with no medical care

I wanted natural and no intervention. I laboured for 36 hrs without pain relief before having to go to theatre because the baby's position wasn't right. My birth plan was a waste of paper. I now understand why people die in labour.

So basically it's a hell no from me.

I was advised to have a homebirth for DD2 due to how quick dD1 arrived. Safer for midwives to come to me than to risk giving birth on the side of a country lane.

I know 2 women who did it accidentally (both in the car on the way to the hospital) who luckily were fine.

But I know a fuck ton more who would be dead or have dead babies if they hadn’t had medical attention.

I just read the article about the Irish lady and it makes you wonder if there is a criminal case to be had by the doula. Clearly she’d been told she was too high risk for a home birth- surely an untrained doula can’t just override that- it sounds almost cult like re the wording of ‘retreat’.

“The doula who assisted Naomi says on her social media that she is a birthing professional, not a medical professional.
The doula also says that women who have had caesareans previously must be informed that they have “options”, including a freebirth, for future pregnancies.

Naomi attended a retreat in April that was run by this doula, alongside other pregnant women.Naomi had engaged with home birth services while pregnant, and been advised that the risk of a home birth was too high for her due to her previous caesareans.

Absolutely not. Even with a home birth there's one or two midwives present and if you need intervention they can get you to the hospital pretty quickly.
I'm going for a natural birth (hypnobirthing) at a midwife led birthing suite, but it's right next to the maternity ward at the hospital, so if anything does go wrong they can help. I don't want medical intervention, but if it saves me or my baby's life I'll take it. I haven't got a birth plan, because things can change in an instant. I have preferences instead.

This, you have some teeth out, don't bother with painkillers, you're not a real person if you need drugs, I mean have you even had teeth out if you need drugs?

5 Kids in teens, had different experiences, including c-section.
Barely remember any things about the births other than scary things - cord around neck, breech, weird red marks. Not the birth plans of which is best bonding (I laugh now at silliness). Of course the bonding nothing to do with midwife, nurse, c section.

IMO too much emphasis on right or correct or best birth which leads to pointless disappointment. Years later, they delivered healthy all that matters. Looking back birth plans were a busy-work exercise.

My midwives in hospital were amazing. Yes one was a knob, that’s been fed back. But the other 6 I had in the days leading up to the birth (induction, except baby was coming of her own accord anyway) were amazing, and the one who delivered her? Absolutely incredible.

There are some knobs out there, but the vast majority aren’t and they want the best for you and your baby. The one who delivered my little one was incredible. She took everything I said and listened, she informed all the drs and aneasthetist of my needle phobia (serious phobia, had treatment through pregnancy for it organised through the aneasthetist team because it’s that bad) even though we were in a rush as DD was stuck. The aneasthetist I didn’t even know was there until after she’d done the cannula (sat on the floor so I didn’t see).

I’m so grateful to them all. I dread to think what would have happened if I had of been at home, let alone a free birth.

Am I being disingenuous for mentioning call the midwife

Childbirth is a big risk for mother and baby.

Forgetting the past and how babies died and mothers died and now more babies and mothers survive?

I'm a big advocate of doing what you think is right for you But ......

First baby had to be assisted out and second baby I had a large PPH. So no, not something I would ever consider.

Aside from the dangers if it goes wrong... I'm failing to see any advantage, even if it goes right? Surely any of the benefits you would still get with a regular midwife-assisted home birth 🤔