To ask if you free birthed?

[36weeks4days]

I am 36 weeks pregnant and planning on a hospital birth I am hoping for as natural as possible with as little intervention as possible

my friend was discussing her labour plans she is considering a free birth. She birthed at home last time.

AIBU to ask if you have ever free birthed? Why you chose that and how it went?

I don't know anybody IRL who has had one, she is due after I've had my son so won't be able to use her experience but my mind is now wondering whether it's something to explore.

Just to add, neither of these were an issue as the midwife’s and doctors dealt with it quickly

I know someone who wanted a home birth because she felt it was the only way to guarantee she’d have a midwife with her throughout the whole thing and not be left labouring on a ward alone. It’s not helping to stigmatise home birth on safety grounds, there can be understandable and not easy to solve reasons why it can feel like the only option for some women. It’s heavily risk assessed and hospitals will advise against them, I was refused one.

As it turned out I would have died without a hospital birth, as would my baby, so free birth seems like absolute madness to me. And what a silly euphemism, a ‘free’ birth compared to what? The medical profession is not out to get women in labour.

No.. I COMPLETELY understand home births, and I feel really strongly about birth plans etc. I cannot stand the ignorant and uneducated attitudes about mums wanting a ‘perfect birth’ or to be ‘trendy’ etc

But I really can’t get my head round intentionally free birthing :/ Why not have a trusted midwife with you??

And absolutely no bloody way would I free birth or even choose a birth anywhere away from consultant led care.

birth number 1 - baby or me would have most likely died without modern medicine. I had prom plus a PPH plus stuck baby with unstable heart rate. As scary as it is when the room fills up with medical staff, it would be a hell of a lot scarier without them.

birth number 2 - very easy- so much so that I didn’t realise how far along I was until the midwife on the phone was like ‘you’re in transition get her now’. I think the sheer fear of having a baby on route delayed thing's enough to get to the hospital but my husband very nearly missed it parking the car.

Now no.2 could have probably been a home birth but that hasn’t been advised after my previous pph and I wouldn’t have been comfortable rolling the dice. If something goes very wrong with a newborn you don’t have time on your side. Even if you get a cat 1 ambulance within the 8 minute target, that may be too late once you can get the baby to the expert staff in the hospital.

Just to add both my boys probably wouldn't have survived without intervention.

I had both DC in hospital. If I’d have been at home with DS1 I’d have bled to death. My delivery was easy but afterwards had a huge internal tear. Had to have emergency surgery to stop the bleeding. Delivery suite had a brand new surgery right across the corridor thankfully

What even is a free birth??

No.

I discovered something about my physiology that’ll make a vaginal birth pretty impossible - but only during labour with my first. Thankfully I was rushed off to theatre down the corridor when my baby was in distress. It’s not as uncommon as it sounds despite the likes of free birthers arguing we were all made to birth. But many women throughout history aren’t quite ‘made’ perfectly it’d seem (including me) and many have died in childbirth.

I did know someone who attempted this. The baby died.

I do hope your friend decides to find a midwife. She has her existing family to think about, as well as her unborn child.

No. I wanted a low intervention water birth and ended up with a five day labour failed induction ending in emergency section. The opposite of what I wanted but it was fine. The idea of ‘free birthing’ is truly insane. You are giving your own and your baby’s life up to basically pure luck. And we know that it’s not even great odds you will be ok. Don’t even consider it!

I was low risk with my first. Everything was fine and progressed well until she had shoulder dystocia. It was a truly terrifying few minutes and the outcome would have been very different even if we'd been at home.

Can I ask on your training and experience with this list please?

Massive PPH
Eclamptic Fit
Cord Prolapse
Shoulder Dystocia
Placental Abruption
Maternal collapse
Neonatal Resuscitation

Can you also expand further on what we would be surprised by after taking the course to deal with obstetric and neonatal emergencies that can arise in any labour/birth.

Shockingly skydiving is roughly 10 times safer than giving birth with full medical attention.

Mortality rate is roughly 1 in 100,000 for skydiving.
13 in 100,000 for mothers giving birth making use of modern medicine.

The “natural” death rate is about 1 in 10.

And most interesting of all - it hit 1 in 3 in America when doctors (who were also pathologists and not keen on washing their hands) first got involved.

So….if you like living make full use of modern medicine but make sure they wash their hands first.

Or take up sky diving instead…..

Hmmm yeah 3 out of 4 were somewhere between BBA and free birth. I didn’t really think of them as free births until my best mate suggested it was always going to be so and I recognised what she said as probably true.

I think this has come over from the US, where they don't have midwifes in most states and home births are often illegal. So there choice over there is often hospital birth, some states do have birthing centers but they aren't everywhere or to free birth at home it's become a bit of a crazy. Some women will hire unregistered birthing assistants (I watch to much YouTube).

So I'm assuming so women here when they have been refused a home birth are looking at these people and thinking that they could do that to. 🤔
They are idiots 🙄, home birth with midwife presents fine. They have assessed you first to see if your low risk. Free birthing intentionally on your own, don't be daft. I mean I know the odd person who hasn't made it to the hospital on time, but that is slightly different and normally they have already rung for help.

I was a transfer to hospital with my first after starting off at home. She was back to back and wasn't progressing, long labour, ended up in theatre prepped for forceps, she had her shoulders stuck. Wouldn't have got her out at home.

No way in hell. Please look up some reliable statistics!!

Is she certainly having a 'free birth' rather than a 'home birth'?

I had no set plans going in as you never know what will happen, and I think that’s sensible due to the unpredictable nature of the situation.

Dilated to 8cms, he never turned, his heart rate dropped significantly as he had stopped progressing, I was losing blood.

Opted in for the emergency c-section as I wanted us both to be okay. Turns out the cord was wrapped around him, therefore a vaginal birth would never have happened.

Overall, I had a lovely experience at the hospital and it was all rather calm. The midwives and doctors were caring, and prioritised our wellbeing. I’m grateful we had them. My primary concern was my child, and that meant doing my best to be available to him too. You are all your dc know when they arrive in this world.

If you’re set on not going to hospital, I’d ensure I was near a hospital and at the very least have a doula.

I had my first with only gas and air NOT THROUGH CHOICE - midwife said oh there will be a baby in an hour, you’re doing so well you don’t need anything.

4 hours later I was dying off as I’d been awake 43 hours and no baby but too late for any drugs….

2nd baby is said GIVE ME EVERYTHING I CAN HAVE!! And after being induced as I was 13 days over due, I was still begging for a c- section to take away the pain!!

I’m shit with pain and would never chose to have no pain relief! There are no medals for it so take what you can to make your experience as pleasant as possible for you.

I despise the competitive nature of giving birth!! “Holistic pain free, drug free, no epidural, no medical intervention makes you 100% the best” What a load of bollcks!

You do what you need to do to get your baby out safe and well. fuck the rest of the stepford house wives and what they say!

As someone who had a very acute and serious placental abruption during labour (2nd pregnancy, first birth was fine, no risk factors for PA) and had to be rushed into theatre for a category 1 c-section to save the baby’s life as well as my own (I was severely internally bleeding), I would strongly suggest you put this free birthing nonsense in the bin.

my baby and I are only alive because

• the midwife realised what was going on and acted quicklu
• i was in hospital when in happened (in Labour)

I have a friend (more of an acquaintance) who 'free birthed'. Apart from scans "for the cute photo" she refused antenatal cares

When she went into labour she stayed at home in a lot of pain for hours until she relented and allowed her husband to call an ambulance. She ended up in hospital with a back to back baby in distress needing emergency forceps.

She was a bit of a twat tbh she wanted to do absolutely everything her way and completely different to what most people do.

Not for any reason other than she doesn't like to follow the crowd.

Which is fine.

When it isn't yours and your unborn babies life you are risking.

She also had a stupid string of wool with a knitted rainbow attached instead of using a cord clamp which more than likely caused the infection on the belly button wound because obviously wool can't be cleaned and kept sterile

I know someone who has had her last 2 children at home, not sure on “free births” but it wouldn’t surprise me if she did. I remember her joking when she first met her current DH (father of last 2 DCs) that they’d just have the babies on the farm, he’s delivered enough calf’s. She’s also a paediatric nurse so not untrained and they were her 4th & 5th children. Her third was very premature and seriously ill so I don’t think she’d have had the home births if she wasn’t confident they would be ok.

id actually never heard the term so had to look it up.

I did by accident. Ds1 was born at 35 and a half weeks in the middle of the life. It was before mobile phones were so freely available, I sent dh downstairs to call for a midwife/ambulance, and when he came back up I was holding the baby. Fortunately he started breathing just as I was preparing to to cpr but it was scary.

All of my babies came at around the 1 hour mark though so I was very lucky I only had to deliver one myself.

My planned home birth for my last one was the best experience.

I think my DM did with her 3rd child, but as I was her 2nd and she was in the hospital 8 mins before I arrived I think she thought was made to give birth easily.
Her 4th child? They both would have died if she wasn't in hospital.
Maternity services are horrendous in this country, but still better than the alternative.

And will you still think the idea sounds 'lovely' when you have to try and free your own baby from your pelvis during a shoulder dystocia and then subsequently resuscitate them adequately whilst waiting for an ambulance? (Because the NHS will be good enough for you then...) Will you be able to get hold of and administer the necessary drugs should you start to haemorrhage? No. Will you have gas and air at home? No. Should you sustain a anything above a 1st degree tear, is your husband happy to suture you at home in order to preserve your pelvic floor health and sexual health? No.

And did you know that the act of free birth itself isn't illegal, but if anyone with you assists you then that is illegal as they will be acting as a medical professional when they are not?

Fair enough you may not want to go to hospital, but at least let a trainer professional help you.