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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Guess what he thinks is wrong with me....

352 replies

SafeMouse · 12/07/2024 19:55

So met a guy online. Date 1 - very average but thought I'd give him time to come into himself. Date 2 boy did he come into himself.....

I'll tell you about me. Early 40s, reasonably fit but no gym bunny (size 10 - 5'1). Successful career wise, live in the centre of a popular historic city in a beautiful converted flat. No kids, 2 cats. Average undergraduate degree. Divorced 6 years.

Let's guess what this Prince amongst men (hes not. Really really not) thinks is the problem with me when incredibly drunk on date 2.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Wintersgirl · 13/07/2024 20:15

anon666 · 13/07/2024 20:14

Think too much of yourself?

Or god forbid if you have an opinion! Know thy place OP!!

Elsvieta · 13/07/2024 20:16

SafeMouse · 12/07/2024 20:07

I wasn't drag it out because its too ludicrous!
So far.... you're pretty much all right. It's all of the above!!!!

I'm too short, only thick people get a 2.2, it's hilarious that I have cats (the single cat lady stereotype is apparently side splitting funny) best of all - adults don't live in flats.

I'd have also met someone by now (which clearly is the priority) but I've prioritised my career. I think this is also why I don't have children but he was slurring quite a bit by then.

He can fix all these things for me. We'll, not the being short I think he's graciously going to accept that.

So he thinks you should have bought a house solo...WITHOUT a career?

Maybe this is that "negging" thing we hear about. I mean, seeing as he thinks he gets to see you again...

CareerChange24 · 13/07/2024 20:16

Your initial description made you sound the ideal woman to date so he is trying to make you feel insecure as men don’t like successful women.

Pelham678 · 13/07/2024 20:17

SafeMouse · 12/07/2024 22:11

It was said with regret/compassion whilst explaining to me why I've not yet found myself a man. It was something like 'I mean you're really short but still attractive. For your age'.

Despite my short stature it's my personality/ lifestyle which is putting me on the shelf

Most magnanimous.

Show quote history

OMG it's the classic back-handed insult. Any so-called compliment that has a but in it is transparently undermining.

And oh, it's your entire personality and your whole lifestyle that let you down. Because no-one, ever, met someone while living in a flat. Or having a cat. Or having a career 🙄. And only taller people procreate: Salma Hayak and Amanda Seyfried are such losers, destined to die childless and alone with their cats 😿.

biscuitandcake · 13/07/2024 20:18

The thing is...

You have replied multiple times but NOT ONCE have you posted a picture of your cats.

So maybe he was right to have identified you as a wrong'un.

Wintersgirl · 13/07/2024 20:20

You have replied multiple times but NOT ONCE have you posted a picture of your cats.

Yep, it's MN law OP!

Original poster
SafeMouse · 13/07/2024 20:22

anon666 · 13/07/2024 20:14

Think too much of yourself?

To put up with dickhead men? Yes I think far too much of myself to do that.

OP posts:
MikeRafone · 13/07/2024 20:24

SafeMouse · 12/07/2024 20:12

I only stayed as long as I did as being more and more insulted was weirdly compelling. But no I'm home now and he's already blocked!!!

Show quote history

Did you let him know what was wrong with him?

Bewareofthisonetoo · 13/07/2024 20:27

SafeMouse · 12/07/2024 20:07

I wasn't drag it out because its too ludicrous!
So far.... you're pretty much all right. It's all of the above!!!!

I'm too short, only thick people get a 2.2, it's hilarious that I have cats (the single cat lady stereotype is apparently side splitting funny) best of all - adults don't live in flats.

I'd have also met someone by now (which clearly is the priority) but I've prioritised my career. I think this is also why I don't have children but he was slurring quite a bit by then.

He can fix all these things for me. We'll, not the being short I think he's graciously going to accept that.

😂😂

NonPlayerCharacter · 13/07/2024 20:28

SafeMouse · 13/07/2024 20:22

To put up with dickhead men? Yes I think far too much of myself to do that.

Show quote history

Oh ignore him.

VickyPollard25 · 13/07/2024 20:32

I’d love a description of him. What’s his height, degree, net worth?

I don’t know how you could have resisted decimating him.

VickyPollard25 · 13/07/2024 20:34

masterblaster · 13/07/2024 18:10

A 2:2 is significantly below average, sorry not sorry, though I’ll grant you firsts are a lot easier to get nowadays.

But how does that even come up in conversation? I don’t even get asked for the information in job interviews. This guy was clearly insecure and trying to feel big by making the OP feel small. Sadly it seems he’s hurt her feelings.

Original poster
SafeMouse · 13/07/2024 20:34

biscuitandcake · 13/07/2024 20:18

The thing is...

You have replied multiple times but NOT ONCE have you posted a picture of your cats.

So maybe he was right to have identified you as a wrong'un.

🤣 I present Squeak. Not sure where Bubs is shakes dreamies

OP posts:
mrsmiawallace3 · 13/07/2024 20:35

Thanks for the encouragement !

VickyPollard25 · 13/07/2024 20:36

SocksAndTheCity · 12/07/2024 23:01

Everybody I know lives in a flat regardless of age, but I live in central London. People - incredibly - even raise children in them 😱

Then again I don't have a degree at all and am barely 5 foot 3, so I am no authority on anything 😁

Yes, me too. Most people live in flats in Central London, and some of them are spectacular.

VickyPollard25 · 13/07/2024 20:38

Zanatdy · 12/07/2024 22:06

What a complete moron. Who does he think owns all the flats in London? Teenagers? I live in a flat, pretty common with where I live, but my friends up north, none of them have ever lived in a flat and probably find it odd that I do, but it’s very expensive here in Surrey and I’m single too, so a single salary, kids and a dog! No cats

I live in a flat. And I can guarantee it’s worth more this guy’s house. What a twat.

LaughingCat · 13/07/2024 20:42

SafeMouse · 13/07/2024 20:34

🤣 I present Squeak. Not sure where Bubs is shakes dreamies

Show quote history

Bubble and Squeak? My old cats were ‘Retto and ‘Ccino! Now I NEED photos 😂

Pah! He should have been demanding to see every photo on your phone of them!

VickyPollard25 · 13/07/2024 20:43

tara66 · 13/07/2024 09:11

OP why did you not reason/argue with this man?

Why did she not leave immediately as soon as he insulted her?

time2changeCharlieBrown · 13/07/2024 20:45

Too ambitious and independent

Dragonfly97 · 13/07/2024 20:51

SafeMouse · 12/07/2024 20:14

What's with the flat thing though? That's the most strangely insulting! Adults don't live in flats????

Your flat sounds amazing. Sometimes I daydream about being single and living in a fabulous Georgian flat in the middle of a city 😍 I'm sure you can do better than that tosser!

ChekhovsMum · 13/07/2024 20:57

I guarantee that if you were 5’8 with a mansion, no pets, a husband and children and a first, he’d insult you for all of those things too.

PorridgeShotgun · 13/07/2024 21:08

Honestly, @SafeMouse it sounds like you are living my best mirror universe life ! Good for you for not listening to Neggy Mc Drunkenstein and being able to mock him.

Thank goodness this Prince of Men(dacity) was here to enlighten us all. Clearly, the only decent thing I can do now is divorce my husband as I'm only 5'3, and worse a massively fat, 1st having, career cat lady. My first is in a Mickey Mouse subject as well, so it's even MORE sneer worthy!

Should any MN'ers set up a Cat Ladies raging against the machine and tired of men's shit group - sign me up!

Hankunamatata · 13/07/2024 21:15

Glad the experience didn't upset you op. Sounds a total prat. Life is really too short for asshats like him. Least showed colours on the second date and didn't waste too much of your time

TealQueen · 13/07/2024 21:16

You dont drink enough?

Cherubim87 · 13/07/2024 21:18

I’m going to guess that it’s the fact you’re A) single and B) have two cats… he thinks your some old maid who should be lucky to
have him?