DD(5) attacked in park by classmates

[worriedmama91]

Posting here for traffic as I really need advice by tomorrow morning. Name changed as this is outing. This is long, I’m sorry!

After school today my DD(5) went to the local park to play. For context the park is right next to the school and all the children go there after school. She has been called names by a couple of boys in her school previously and has said they’re mean, I have always just told her to ignore them and tell the teacher if they’re being unkind. Today those boys after tormenting DD’s friend and making her cry said ‘let’s get (DD)’ they proceeded to chase her with one boy, a year older than DD (but in the same class as it’s a small school) grabbed her from behind by the shoulders and kneed her hard in the back. DD was inconsolable and in pain, she had been very scared trying to run from them.

I wasn’t present but DH was, he immediately went next door to the school to inform them so that DD will be kept safe in school from these boys but their response was ‘oh gosh well boys do play rough’. The mum of DD’s friend witnessed the whole situation and was unhappy herself with them making her DD cry so I know she will back me up.

I emailed the school to advise them of the situation and explain that I would like to speak to them tomorrow in regards to the situation so that I can feel comfortable with sending DD in to school. As of yet no respone but I plan on asking to speak to them in the morning after drop off.

My question is AIBU to expect the school to take action despite this taking place off school grounds? All I’m asking is that they speak to the boys’ parents and make sure the boys are aware that nothing similar can happen again. Is there anything I should expect the school to do or is it nothing to do with them?

In addition if anyone has any advice of what to say/how to word myself that would be great, I’m awful at confrontation and fear I may just cry! So upset that my poor DD has been targeted, apparently they always call her a baby.

Eh? This didnt happen in school so how have they enabled it?

@SilverDoe totally agree that as the park is next to the school and children are being left unsupervised immediately after the school that the school should state clearly that this is unacceptable. It shouldn’t need saying, but some people need things spelling out.

A child could easily be abducted in these circumstances or seriously injured falling from play equipment.

How come her own father wasn’t able to keep her safe? Something doesn’t quite add up here…

You clearly don’t know anything about how schools and their responsibilities for safeguarding works.

OP - ignore the bullshit trying to pass as sense and follow the advice from teaching professionals on this thread on how to engage with the school. Get everything in writing and demand how this will be followed up.

It's incredible how laggard schools will sh** bricks and finally act when intention to lodge formal complaints, notifying the school governors and a complaint to Ofsted are used in a serious and measured way.

Some ppl expect staff to work 24/7. They expect things now and if they do not they 'kick off'.

The school will respond when they are working and have been able to gather information. As one would expect.

Ppl do not give schools chance to deal with things before talking about making threats.

Or the OP could look on the school’s website and actually have a look herself rather than heaping everything on a school which was not even involved.

I would want to know if my 6 year old son was beating up a 5 year old girl.
Its not normal at all! and i wouldn't be letting my child go to a school that doesnt think this behaviour needs a serious looking into.

In our school ( although yes its a smaller village school) if anything happens a serious email is sent out and also put into the newsletter. They take it very seriously.

OP has explained what happened at least 3 times if you go back and read her posts

Are you a parent?

Those poor little girls.
Nothing to add, just wanted to say I'm sorry.

Saying that i remember in my primary school when i was about 9 there was a 5 year old girl picked up and thrown off the playframe after school by a boy, she broke both legs and an arm and we all made get well soon cards and welcome back banners for her in school, traumatised me to be honest seeing that. I don't know what they did but i do know i never saw that boy again :O

And you’d have ended up with a criminal record you plonker!

Do you not know the name of the two boys or could you approach their parents?

DS got kneed in school premises by two boys in his class about a month ago. I spoke to his teacher, got it logged in the school database. For legal reasons, I made sure this was put in writing. Doesn't matter that it only happened once. It could happen again and if it does you need a paper trail. Been through hell with older DC and know how quickly things can escalate.

I had one of the mums come to my front door wondering why I didn't speak to her informally about it. I explained it wasn't just her DS, there were two involved. School needed to be informed as it happened on their premises minutes before 9am bell.

Surely could just argue “mums will be mums” with a shrug.

Don’t forget to add ‘both myself and the other parent were failing to pay attention to our own children and I was unable to run fast enough against a small child to prevent them from grabbing my child’.

You think he should have threatened KS1 children? Then he'd be in the wrong.

For such young children, schools would expect that their parents were able to keep them safe in a public space.

I'm not sure how you expect the school to keep her safe as 1 of 30 when your DH couldn't keep her safe as 1 of 1.

Speak to the parents yourself. I would without a doubt.

Christ, your Husband needs to go round to see the parents of these boys. As for the teachers response, they need to get their heads out of the sand.

It could happen at the next school.

Another thread which demonstrates the low level of comprehension of many mnetters.
DH turned briefly to assist another child in distress but is berated for inadequately protecting his own DD and expected to outpace children who are already close to DD. Boys, far from being deterred by DH, laughing his face.
OP do report to police who should liaise with school and SS. Action is more likely if you can identify the boys involved. SS would regard the boys in need of care and protection. School May, in fact have been alert to previous concerns.
Consider moving out of the village before these children get much older because it looks like anti social behaviour looms ahead .

Jesus these kids sound feral considering how young they are to want to do this even with your husband there. That’s nuts! I’d hang out in the playground next time you are picking her up and see if you can spot the parents based on who the boys go to then go speak to them. Also when you go to the school, make sure you ask them how they will keep your daughter safe and make sure there is a paper trail- aka get them to email the agreed actions. If they don’t follow up on this then this will make it a lot easier if you need to follow the complaints process down the line

So much bollocks spouted on this thread.

This is truly awful behaviour for 5 year olds and the school’s response is pathetic, to put it mildly.

Listen to the people above who know what they’re talking about.

There's a good chance that the thug's parents are also violent thugs.