Would you let an annoying family member live with you for 300k?

[L4815]

A relative of ours has said they will give us 300k if we allow them to move in with us.

It's me, DH and DS.

Pros.

Our 135k mortgage would be paid off plus other outstanding debt. We'd have a nice safety cushion and a better life financially.

Despite being annoying, deep down, we love family member and one of us feels a sense of duty toward them.

Family member would contribute to household chores.

Cons.

Family member is incredibly annoying. They like to be in control of everything. We don't let them but its still irritating.

Family member is a just about functioning alcoholic and would require our assistance with reducing.

Despite having some health issues, they are only in their 50s so potentially could end up living with us for another 20 years.

Family member would nag us about keeping the house clean. Much higher standards than us.

House is only a bog standard terrace so although we have a spare room, we only have one bathroom, one living area, etc.

One of us says absolutely no way, not even for a million. Other one sort of agrees but id also slightly swayed by how beneficial money would be and also feels sorry for family member who lives alone and has no other family or friends.

Almost feels a bit like selling your soul to the devil for money.

Ultimately feels like a choice between freedom or money.

WWYD?

Hypothetical really as one of us has already vetoed.

Your home should be your refuge.

I would nit entertain this idea at all. My mental heath and wellbeing is worth more than amy amount of money.

Like many others, it’s the alcohol which would mean it’s an absolute no. There is a significant risk that the stress of being in someone else’s home with attendant arguments etc that they slide from being a barely functioning alcoholic to a raging alcoholic. Your child definitely doesn’t deserve that. Is your child’s mental health and childhood worth that money?

Absolutely not. 3 bottles of wine a day now and they expect you to help in 'reducing that'- nightmare, and you live in a small terraced house and they already irritate you and behave in a controlling way.

What happens in a year's time when it all falls apart and you can;t stand it any more? Or they can't stand it? Where do they go? Do they get their money back? Have they bought part of your house?

And being really crude for a moment- if they are willing to give you 300k now, you'll probably get it when they die anyway.

All you have to do is wait. So even if you are motivated by money, the question becomes:

Should I take 300k now and have an alcoholic move in and ruin mine and my childs life or wait for them to die and perhaps get less money.

If you say no, you stand to regret losing money.

If you say yes you risk not waking up to your family because he or she left the oven on and set fire to the house (or another tragic accident)

You'd have to be insane to consider this.

Even if you liked the person, it would drive you nuts. Given what she's like, nobody would want her living with them.

The main problem is though that once that £300,000 has been accepted and spent, there's absolutely no way of getting rid of her. You'd have to give her that money back again.

Are they paying the £300,000 upfront, or over a period of time. I would be tempted to take the money, use it to upgrade to a bigger house with better arranged accomodation!

No I wouldn’t, living with someone who is an alcoholic isn’t worth a million, they are always self centred liars , and eventually nasty, spiteful and dirty.

3 bottles of wine daily is full blown alcoholism, surely? I wouldn't want that around my child.

Couldn't you use the 300k to buy a house with an annex? That way your relative could live as tidy as she liked, have a drink and help with childcare if they wanted.
And you have your own space and your house how you want it.

No. If you find them annoying now, imagine what a bad day would be like and no escape. What if the drinking gets worse? Not worth it at all.

Unlikely you're still reading OP, but just in case - HARD NO!

If they have £300K then let them buy somewhere close to you and you can see them more/more easily.

If you had a mansion and they could live in a wing, then it might just be bearable. But with a shared bathroom? No way.

Plus exposing your child to an addiction is HUGELY problematic. Might damage them for their whole life.

You say 20 years but it might easily be 30 or 40...

Just definitely not.

Yes. Family > all

Even the annoying ones.

Not a chance!

No money is worth that. Hard no.

There is no amount of money that would make me expose my son to this.

No child should have to endure an alcoholic.

I was asked by a relative to give up my council house and job and move in with them to be their unpaid carer, in exchange they would leave me their house. The lifetime mortgage and the fact that they would not own their house in 10 years didn't come up. Luckily their alcoholism killed them shortly after this wonderful offer so I still have a job and home.

Alcoholics lie. There probably is no £300k.

Not a hope in hell!

Trust me - your lives would be a misery and you would have no way of getting rid of them.

They may be a functioning alcoholic now (albeit annoying), but they would very soon become an unfunctioning aggressive one - and very possibly doubly incontinent. Alcoholics often unrinate themselves, and frequently defecate themselves, too.

Do you really want your child to see that?

Edit for grammar

Honestly don’t do it, it’s not worth the peace in your home. For 300k, depending on where she lives would be best to buy a small ground floor flat near you.

@L4815
Op dont forget to consider that an alcoholic is extremely likely to develop dementia and other related medical conditions requiring care. Will you provide that care? Because if he/she needs residential home then ss will be looking if assets have been given away and you could be liable. All that money would not be worth the stress and affect on my and my family's quality of life.

It's individual.
I don't need their money, however, I need my peace.
So it would be a no, even for the promise of a million pounds.

Christ alive op that's more than a bit too much
Nah I'd not be having that upcoming drama in my childs home for the next 20 years

Fuck, no. They would see it as buying £300k worth of your time, attention and care, and I suspect you'd end up paying several times over.

No way. They could be with you for the next 40 years. My neighbour turned 102 recently!

Christ on a bike - NO!!!

Don't think of it as 'annoying'. Reframe it as 'damaging'. Because that's what it would be. Please don't visit that upon an innocent child.