To have taken my sisters cat to the vet and hope she will pay

[InWithPeaceOutWithStress]

My sister has a 19 year old cat.
Cat has lived at our mums house for a couple of years because my sister has a younger cat and a child and felt the older cat would be happier at my mums house.

Cat has come to stay at my house as my mum has gone on holiday.
Cat is clearly not well - skin and bones, ravenous and thirsty but not putting on weight. I weighed her and she is just over 2kgs. Breathing heavily at times and unsteady on her feet.

I messaged my mum to say I think cat needs to go to vet, I’ve had no response for 3 days. she’s in the U.K., not abroad.

Phoned my sister who agreed I could take her to the vet.
Vet wanted to do blood panel due to suspected hyperthyroidism so I got the ok from sister by text (she is owner so needs to agree). Sisters response to the possible diagnosis was - ‘that sounds expensive’.

Results came back and cat has severe hyperthyroidism. Too weak for surgery so treatment is special diet and pills. I explained this to sister by text and response is “ok”.

I am on the way to pick up pills now. Sister hasn’t asked me how much any of this costs (£300 so far) so is possibly expecting me to pay for it? Not sure how to approach this?

My mothers response when I’ve previously suggested cat is ill and should go to the vets is “she’s just old”.

sisters response when I said cat may also have renal failure, just to warn her that outlook may not be good was “she’s super old I wouldn’t be surprised if she needs to be put down”.

its like they both just think oh she’s old, just let her die.

But she is really suffering with the hyperthyroidism as she eats and eats but doesn’t get nutrition. With treatment she could have quality of life so to me it’s a no brainer to give her that.

I have two cats and I love them ti pieces, can’t imagine letting them come to this. I also have pet insurance for them, she doesn’t. I’m picking up the cost possibly. Should I have stayed out of this? It felt negligent to not take her to the vets whilst under my care and clearly ill.

feel really put off my mum and sister as they seem so heartless. Or am I being a martyr?

not sure how to convince my mum to buy / give cat the special food and pills once the lot I’ve got runs out.

vet needs to do more bloods in 2 weeks to check treatment is working so it may be easier to keep cat with me till then. Treatment will be for life.

I’m considering keeping cat but my partner is not keen because there is an impact on our existing two cats. They’re scared of older cat and have retreated upstairs and have been vomiting so I think they are stressed by her.

AIBU = I should have stayed out of this. Now I’ve got involved I need to suck it up in terms of vet bills and ongoing care.

IANBU = I was right to take cat to vets and sister is the owner and responsible for care, including paying me back.

That's NOT true.

We took our 14 yo ddog to emergency vet last year when he suddenly became very poorly.

It was the vet who said they could do tests but at his advanced age it would be kinder to PTS. We did there and then.

Aww bless you OP, it must be hard for you to see the cat in the state it was in.
For everyone saying to PTS, that obviously was not your decision to make.
Your sister/mum needs to make that call.
You did the right thing by taking the poor love to the vet and as you informed your sister of the treatments and got her permission to go ahead, I believe she should be responsible for the bills.
You sound very kind, caring for this lovely old cat.
I hope you decide to keep her and she gets to leave out her last days in a loving and caring home.
You will know when it’s time to say goodbye, and the decision will be made easier if she doesn’t improve rapidly with the medication.

Those that are upset, saying that the cat needs to be treated and sharing their own stories need to remember that the difference is that YOUR cat has a loving owner. This cat does not, and it sounds like OP trying to keep it would cause problems with her other cats (which are already hiding and vomiting because they don’t like this cat in their house) as well as with her husband. It also sounds like she doesn’t have the finances to commit to longterm treatment for this, which is expensive. That is why it is kindest to have her euthanized.

It is also not great that the cat has had her hyperthyroidism untreated for so long. My mother has a cat in the exact same situation. He’s somewhere between 18 and 22 years old and suffered with hyperthyroidism for a long time before I saw him while visiting and insisted that he see a vet. They have never been able to get his hyperthyroidism under control.

It costs her about £600-700 every 3 months. He is suffering, emaciated, eats constantly, and also going into renal failure. He is miserable, uncomfortable, and has no quality of life but because “he still wanders around and eats” she lets him carry on suffering. It’s inhumane, but I have run out of things to say trying to appeal to her sense of decency. I suspect that she wants him to pass without having to intervene and feeling like the “bad guy,” regardless of how much pain he endures in the meantime. It sounds like OP’s mother and sister might do the same. It would be much better for the cat to not go through this.

A chronic condition that can easily be treated with medication in the majority of cases.

I’m considering keeping cat but my partner is not keen because there is an impact on our existing two cats. They’re scared of older cat and have retreated upstairs and have been vomiting so I think they are stressed by her.

I would think a lot harder about this. I had to rehome one of my two cats because the stress of each other's presence was making them both ill. I had to make the decision in the best interests of both cats and ignoring my own personal feelings (I was heartbroken), because I had responsibility for their wellbeing.

If you take this very ill and very elderly cat on, you will have vet's bills and meds costs plus all the extra food, plus you will be stressing out your existing cats. I really wouldn't recommend that as being in ALL the pets' best interests.

If you return the elderly cat to your mum's care when she gets back, do you think she or your sister are going to pay you back for the costs you've incurred? Do you believe she will start to engage with costs and care of the cat, when previously she must have been aware the cat was ailing and yet did nothing? I reckon both your mum and sister are OK with just leaving nature to take its course and the cat die in her own time.

In these circumstances I would push for euthanising the cat, because the owners don't want to bother with her. I wouldn't take her on myself because of the existing pets. It's hard, but ultimately we have responsibility to pet animals which means making tough decisions.

Thank you for taking the poor thing to the vet OP. You did what you believe was right. The cat may respond well, nobody knows. It’s a shame you can’t take the cat as your mum isn’t going to keep up with treatment by the sounds of it.

I hope your DM doesn’t get another cat (along with most of mn).

I’m astounded by the number of vets on this post- wow. Dishing out veterinary advice! Should’ve come here first OP🙄 Thing is your DM didn’t make the decision to pts- she’s letting the cat suffer. She won’t want to pay for euthanisia either.

@BeachRide ODFOD for shame yourself. Clearly no animal lover!

It’s not the Op’s cat so she can’t push to euthanise.

Well no, they want to be paid for ongoing care for the next few months...

This is terribly sad. YANBU to take the cat to the vet. But if the care is not going to be kept up, then it would be kinder for the cat to be PTS.

I am surprised the vet did not suggest this as an option given the cost of ongoing care and age of the cat.

At 19 and suffering it's kinder to pts. Vet just wants money.

Our sweet girl was 18 and had all the symptoms you describe. We had her PTS 3weeks ago after having her for 15 wonderful years. It's the hardest thing we've ever had to do and as someone unable to have children it has left me utterly bereft and completely heartbroken but it was the kindest thing to do for our beloved Lu. Your sister's cat will not get better no matter how many pills or special diet products it consumes. I'm so sorry you find yourself in this horrible situation. Sending hugs.

Thanks everyone, I really appreciate the support. It’s really distressing and I’m angry they’ve left this to me and are just ignoring the whole thing.

The thread has made me realise I need to have a really serious conversation with them about the two options - care for her or PTS. Continuing to ignore the situation is neglectful and cruel and I am determined not to let them do that.

If my mum refuses to care for her properly then my sister needs to either take her back or take her to the vets to PTS. Or I can do this but it’s her decision and she should pay me back for it.

My sister is planning to get a puppy next so I can see what happens next - she’ll give the second cat to my mum and this will all be repeated in a few years time.

FFS. The vet is not a disgrace. He/she is more than likely an employee on a salary that will not change based on this cats’ treatment. They are not just out to rinse the OP dry. Agree that this cat needs to be PTS soon, but it’s not always as simple as that. Authorisation from the cats’ owner is required before euthanasia for one thing.

Medical treatment for hyperthyroidism in cats can be highly effective and comparatively inexpensive. It could be worth a try even if it’s just for a few weeks to allow the owners to return from holiday and get their heads around inevitable euthanasia.

Bless you and Bonnie is beautiful🌹

Thank you, yes I think this is where I’m landing. I’ve reconciled that even if ultimately she is PTS, that isn’t going to happen straightaway as I need to engage my family. It isn’t my decision and the vet advised giving treatment a go. therefore the humane thing for me is to give her the special food and the pills in the interim. She’s been neglected for too long and the least I can do is get her the treatment while she’s with me, if it makes her last couple of weeks more comfortable then it’s worth it and is the ethical thing to do.

Dcat wasn't even registered at a vet? No wonder it's poorly.. Jabs? It's a legal requirement to have it microchipped now also...

My experience is that vets will happily treat elderly pets forever with little consideration for cost, consequences or quality of life for pet or owner. If an animal is simply existing it feels kinder to PTS. 19 years is a great age for a cat.

I think that's what my cat got until her kidneys improved enough for her to undergo surgery and she had a thyroidectomy.

Then she needed thyroxine because her body couldn't make it herself.

Aww. Bless you and Bonnie.
I am glad she gets to know love and kindness, even if you only have her for a short time x

I've just finished a phase of cat sitting for work (long term supposedly nice clients), and three of the households were neglecting the cat(s) badly so I totally understand. It's so infuriating.

I'm trying to encourage one of them to pass their aging cats to me. Looks like the male will need to be put down. But they're letting him suffer terribly (it's a woman who I thought of as a old friend, she remarried but her husband wants the cats dead so refuses to let her treat them or go to vets for past few years and refused to let me take them).

The female I think may upset my current cats

However I have had chats with cats protection and it's no guarantee but they said if they can help me they will. Costs, finding cheap vet help...or if you foster until a home or place can be found they may help you with food and things.

No promises as they're all overrun like crazy especially last few years, but may be worth finding a good advisor for a chat.

Totally get it though. I've worked with the households so long I love the cats too and hate watching them suffer. Especially when the families have the money and time to help the cats. Or just rehome or put them to sleep (eg the male very sick one)

Fgs. What a disgusting comment. The vet is trying to find the cause and give the cat a chance. Good for them.

@lb640 That’s so sad to hear and so lovely of you to step in and help.

It really does make you think about how widespread this problem is in our society of animal neglect and cruelty. Animals can look after themselves in the wild, we’ve domesticated pets and made them dependent, it’s our responsibility to care for them properly.

You can be prosecuted for not seeking veterinary help for an animal that is suffering. The OPs mother and sister should be ashamed of themselves. I would never let an animal suffer.

It sounds like your DM and DS have neglected the cat and of course the vet will take your money and do all sorts of tests. I am sure that you can judge whether the cat is in discomfort/pain then it would be the time to let her go
Your DS owes you for the vet's bill, ask her to reimburse you.

What's with all these folk saying PTS? We own a geriatric cat too with medical conditions and our vet was very clear she isn't at the PTS point. If OP's cat was at that point, the vet would most definitely have said. No OP, your sister's cat is sick. You'll be amazed how much she'll rally once you get meds into her.

The hardest thing won't be getting the cat healthy...it'll be convincing your family that she needs ongoing medical care. That's expensive and insurance won't cover that cost as it's now a pre-existing condition. They'll be looking at £50 a month on meds and food now plus however much for vets trips and need to budget for that.

I'm worried they'll just un-medicate her to the point that she does need to be PTS. Please keep a close eye on her once she goes back into their care and advocate for this poor cat.

Top tip for stress free daily pills: break up a dreamie. Put the pill into the middle of now small pile of mushed dreamie and serve to the cat.

Very few cat owners expect their cat to live this long...We now have monthly vets visits to manage her arthritis, and daily pills for epilepsy.

Thanks for doing the right thing and looking out for the cat, you've done the right thing. £300 vet costs is only the start for an uninsured old cat

my 17 yo cat was insured and was very poorly with renal issues. Vet prescribed loads of medication and very expensive food which she hated. She was ok for 6 weeks then went rapidly down hill and was in major distress

went back to vet who started suggesting a whole load of invasive tests which she would have hated. It was only when I asked what would he do if it was his cat did he recommended PTS