To have taken my sisters cat to the vet and hope she will pay

[InWithPeaceOutWithStress]

My sister has a 19 year old cat.
Cat has lived at our mums house for a couple of years because my sister has a younger cat and a child and felt the older cat would be happier at my mums house.

Cat has come to stay at my house as my mum has gone on holiday.
Cat is clearly not well - skin and bones, ravenous and thirsty but not putting on weight. I weighed her and she is just over 2kgs. Breathing heavily at times and unsteady on her feet.

I messaged my mum to say I think cat needs to go to vet, I’ve had no response for 3 days. she’s in the U.K., not abroad.

Phoned my sister who agreed I could take her to the vet.
Vet wanted to do blood panel due to suspected hyperthyroidism so I got the ok from sister by text (she is owner so needs to agree). Sisters response to the possible diagnosis was - ‘that sounds expensive’.

Results came back and cat has severe hyperthyroidism. Too weak for surgery so treatment is special diet and pills. I explained this to sister by text and response is “ok”.

I am on the way to pick up pills now. Sister hasn’t asked me how much any of this costs (£300 so far) so is possibly expecting me to pay for it? Not sure how to approach this?

My mothers response when I’ve previously suggested cat is ill and should go to the vets is “she’s just old”.

sisters response when I said cat may also have renal failure, just to warn her that outlook may not be good was “she’s super old I wouldn’t be surprised if she needs to be put down”.

its like they both just think oh she’s old, just let her die.

But she is really suffering with the hyperthyroidism as she eats and eats but doesn’t get nutrition. With treatment she could have quality of life so to me it’s a no brainer to give her that.

I have two cats and I love them ti pieces, can’t imagine letting them come to this. I also have pet insurance for them, she doesn’t. I’m picking up the cost possibly. Should I have stayed out of this? It felt negligent to not take her to the vets whilst under my care and clearly ill.

feel really put off my mum and sister as they seem so heartless. Or am I being a martyr?

not sure how to convince my mum to buy / give cat the special food and pills once the lot I’ve got runs out.

vet needs to do more bloods in 2 weeks to check treatment is working so it may be easier to keep cat with me till then. Treatment will be for life.

I’m considering keeping cat but my partner is not keen because there is an impact on our existing two cats. They’re scared of older cat and have retreated upstairs and have been vomiting so I think they are stressed by her.

AIBU = I should have stayed out of this. Now I’ve got involved I need to suck it up in terms of vet bills and ongoing care.

IANBU = I was right to take cat to vets and sister is the owner and responsible for care, including paying me back.

Thank you for this, so sorry that the treatment didn't work/ potentially caused reaction but at least you gave it a try: it may have worked, so worth a go, but sadly it hasn't.
I am glad you spoke to a more experienced vet (or, maybe if you had the previous vet, they may have come to the same conclusion given what happened).
Sounds like there is now a plan in place for your family to say goodbye and for the cat to have a kind end to their days. You have done well by this cat @InWithPeaceOutWithStress and it is a blessing for the cat that it came to you, in my opinion 💐

You've done all the right things here and I'm glad you got to speak to this second vet. Those who are saying that vets will never advise PTS are misinformed as I've been in this position three times and each time they have done so. A good vet will have ways of making the message 100% clear without being direct but being sensitive to the high emotions in the room.

I hope that your sister is thankful for you having taken such good care of her cat and that she rethinks letting any future animals lapse in their vet visits.

That’s absolutely not true if a pet is in pain and the outcome is limited we will raise humane euthanasia prolonging life in pain we just don’t do willingly

You can only do what you can with what you have, the medication you started will have started the body normal function but having been in crisis for so long will have frantically started addressing the toxin dumps created by lack of thyroid function this is likely to cause seizures and unexplainable behaviour if the cat is strong enough to ride it out things will settle again in a few days however if the cat is showing signs of pain then it would be kinder to euthanise her blood panel will tell you if she’s in pain it will however be very difficult to secure a vein and I am aware of vets euthanising rather than struggle to get a catheter in one of the reasons I left practice

You are not been unreasonable at all and you are the only one that seems to care about the poor cat. But at this stage I think the kindest thing is to put the cat to sleep rather than prolong the inevitable especially as it is unlikely either your mum or sister will care enough to offer consistent treatment, but even if they where I would seriously question if it is actually in the cats best interests anyway. Just because we can doesn't always mean we should. I know you've said the vet hasn't suggested pts but unfortunately some don't all the while there is some money to be made (odviously not all but some). Give the cat a nice couple of days then give her a dignified end even if it is you that ends up paying the bill - which sounds likely.

Ohps I've just seen your last update and I'm pleased the 2nd vet helped give you some clarity and hopefully has taken any guilt away from having to make such a difficult decision. It was very unfair of the first vet to lead you to believe there would a positive outcome to be honest.

Poor you OP, you tried really hard for the cat and were the most kind person she met in her old age. Your sister sounds a self centred fluff brain who really shouldn’t keep getting these animals if she’s not going to look after them.

Well done for caring and trying for the cat. It’s just a shame you didn’t get the senior vet the first time.

At 19 I think the cats’ quality of life is likely diminishing rapidly and from the sounds of it, needs to be put down. This may sound harsh but keeping an unwell car alive is cruel and unnecessary.

Can people at least read the OP updates if you can’t be bothered reading the whole thread before commenting

thank you for looking out for the cat. If you'd not taken it into the vet it might have had a long time of suffering. They might not have taken it to the vet even after the seizure.

You did a good thing

I'm really sorry to hear this. Thank you for looking out for her and making her end of life better than it might've been.

I'm so sorry to hear your update. I know it's so hard but this is the best thing for the DCat.

It took me a long time to reconcile letting our DBoycat go but sometimes you just can't fix things no matter how much you want to or how hard you try. X