To have taken my sisters cat to the vet and hope she will pay

[InWithPeaceOutWithStress]

My sister has a 19 year old cat.
Cat has lived at our mums house for a couple of years because my sister has a younger cat and a child and felt the older cat would be happier at my mums house.

Cat has come to stay at my house as my mum has gone on holiday.
Cat is clearly not well - skin and bones, ravenous and thirsty but not putting on weight. I weighed her and she is just over 2kgs. Breathing heavily at times and unsteady on her feet.

I messaged my mum to say I think cat needs to go to vet, I’ve had no response for 3 days. she’s in the U.K., not abroad.

Phoned my sister who agreed I could take her to the vet.
Vet wanted to do blood panel due to suspected hyperthyroidism so I got the ok from sister by text (she is owner so needs to agree). Sisters response to the possible diagnosis was - ‘that sounds expensive’.

Results came back and cat has severe hyperthyroidism. Too weak for surgery so treatment is special diet and pills. I explained this to sister by text and response is “ok”.

I am on the way to pick up pills now. Sister hasn’t asked me how much any of this costs (£300 so far) so is possibly expecting me to pay for it? Not sure how to approach this?

My mothers response when I’ve previously suggested cat is ill and should go to the vets is “she’s just old”.

sisters response when I said cat may also have renal failure, just to warn her that outlook may not be good was “she’s super old I wouldn’t be surprised if she needs to be put down”.

its like they both just think oh she’s old, just let her die.

But she is really suffering with the hyperthyroidism as she eats and eats but doesn’t get nutrition. With treatment she could have quality of life so to me it’s a no brainer to give her that.

I have two cats and I love them ti pieces, can’t imagine letting them come to this. I also have pet insurance for them, she doesn’t. I’m picking up the cost possibly. Should I have stayed out of this? It felt negligent to not take her to the vets whilst under my care and clearly ill.

feel really put off my mum and sister as they seem so heartless. Or am I being a martyr?

not sure how to convince my mum to buy / give cat the special food and pills once the lot I’ve got runs out.

vet needs to do more bloods in 2 weeks to check treatment is working so it may be easier to keep cat with me till then. Treatment will be for life.

I’m considering keeping cat but my partner is not keen because there is an impact on our existing two cats. They’re scared of older cat and have retreated upstairs and have been vomiting so I think they are stressed by her.

AIBU = I should have stayed out of this. Now I’ve got involved I need to suck it up in terms of vet bills and ongoing care.

IANBU = I was right to take cat to vets and sister is the owner and responsible for care, including paying me back.

This.

I'm not sure why you can't discuss the cost and who is paying? Just call her and ask? It's perfectly reasonable to do that, it's not your cat. That said I do agree with pp that it should probably be put to sleep sadly

A lot of pills can be crushed in food. My very fussy cat was diagnosed with heart failure and arthritis when he was 17 and ended up with about 6 different medications in his food.

Obviously each case is different and I'm not for one minute saying it's right to prolong am animal's life for the sake of it. My cat had a good quality of life for the 5 months he was on the medication and most definitely wasn't skin and bone.

If I knew this in advance I would have known to ask that question - “would it be kinder to put her to sleep?” I wish I did ask that. But unfortunately it didn’t occur to me to ask that question. We were just looking at blood tests and possible diagnosis.

The cat is 19 years old and suffering. How long, even with tabs/special food, do you think he’s going to live? The vet should have suggested PTS but there seems to be an increasing number who will just carry on until the owners suggest the kind and sensible thing to do.

But the question is - did you get told by the vet before they ran the £200 tests that it would be £200 and when you got your sister to agree to tests did the words “it’s going to cost another £200” leave your mouth?

You agreed to run expensive tests, that’s a lot of money to most people. I would always check with the person who I was expecting to pay that they understand the costs and would pay.

It’s a bit harsh to shame me. The cat isn’t well so I’ve taken her to the vet and followed the advice given.

Decent vet should have been reporting owners for neglect. 2kgs is neglect. Your sister and mother are both responsible and shouldn't have animals at all.

Poor cat. The treatment may not be effective as they have let it get to this stage. Has the vet said how likely it will be to make a difference in a couple of weeks? How bad are the blood results? Kidney function? Liver function?

This happened to my cat at the grand old age of 23 we decided it was best to PTS

Then don‘t put her to sleep. I took in a 16 year old cat last November who had been homeless for 2 years after her owner died. She occasionally got scraps from the neighbors but otherwise had to find food on her own - she has no teeth.

She eventually settled on the farm next door when her previous owner‘s son took over the house and very brutally chased her away. At the farm it was considered to shoot her but luckily, they didn‘t do that. Then I saw her there (the farm is famous locally for its ice cream) and asked to take her.

i spent over 1000€ at the vet - she is skinny, had horrific diarrhea for months and didn‘t put on any weight even though she ate 1.5 pounds of wet food per day. For a couple of weeks, the first thing in the morning I had to do was clean the bath room because she shat multiple times everywhere in the bathroom. Plus she had a yeast infection in her ears that needed multiple treatment at the vet. Oh, and my other cat hates her so I have to keep them separately.

Bonnie’s weight is now stable, the diarrhea under control, she eats less and is enjoying live. It never occurred to me to put her to sleep since the vet never suggested it. The vet actually said that Bonnie most likely has a couple of years ahead of her.

The cat is 19.. a very old age.
My Cat had this age 16 and vet advised being PTS.. because she had no quality of life.
I think some vets will always try and treat/ offer medication.. for money purpose.
A cat can't tell you it's suffering.. but it is..

A previously homeless cat who just needed a bit of TLC is very different to an unhealthy cat with a chronic condition.

OP advise your sister about the current situation and that costs so far are at £X and does she want to continue with the treatment and if not will she take to be pts (kinder for her to do it)

OP, I’m so surprised how many people are saying you should definitely put her to sleep, when the vet has recommended a potential treatment. If it were my cat, I would absolutely try the treatment first (assuming your sister is happy to do it, given it’s her decision). If the vet felt there were no treatments available / the treatment was unlikely to work then they would have told you that (even if they didn’t go so far as to recommend PTS). If you try the treatment and it doesn’t work then PTS may be the outcome, but I don’t know why it wouldn’t be worth trying. You sound kind and like you’re trying to genuinely do your best for her, I hope your sister agrees to try the treatment and to pay for it x

You did what you thought was right and what you did was right - you saw the cat was unwell, so you took it to the vets and took the vets advice.

You have absolutely nothing to feel guilty or bad about because you did what you felt was in the best interests of the cat.

You have done nothing ‘wrong’.
But I think you have simply just delayed the inevitable.

When my cat was poorly (14yo) I did try and keep him alive and it did work for a few months but then he went downhill again and that’s when I knew it was time to PTS.

Perhaps give it a couple of weeks and if there’s no improvement or it goes downhill then take him back to be PTS.

Well done for taking an animal (that’s not even yours) to the vets when it was unwell.

I had similar with a 13 y cat - suddenly lost weight and was eating constantly. Like your sister's cat, her kidneys were badly damaged and so it was diet and medication which she was on for about two years until her kidney function improved enough for surgery and she had her thyroid removed. Obviously she still needed medication but lived until she was 18. However, this was a 13 yo cat. At 19 I would ask the vet to euthanise her. She is going to be uncomfortable for a while longer anyway (and cats don't like taking tablets) and harsh as it sounds, she is unlikely to live a lot longer even if the medication is effective.

It is probably kinder to let her go.

Our Ragdoll got this diagnosis at 16 , was very well aside from having diarrhoea and we started him on the pills and he went into acute liver failure and had to be PTS . At 19 and 2kg I’m not sure I’d have been treating her , just because you can treat elderly animals doesn’t mean you should .

Thank you for your comment. Yes this is so true. I have got a diagnosis and pills, I can send her back to my mums with the special food. But I have no idea / control over what happens then. I don’t have confidence that she will be closely cared for and treated there. I also don’t have the right to put her to sleep as she isn’t my cat, and that should be for my sister to take on the burden of making that decision and making it happen. But I don’t have confidence that will happen either.

It sounds like they both think she has reached the point where she needs to be put to sleep and to be very honest, I agree with that view.

But they shouldn't be leaving you to deal with it and pay expensive vets bills! I think an honest conversation needs to be had between the 3 of you once you mum returns from holiday.

Stop being cruel and get the poor cat PTS stop prolonging the poor thing’s suffering the cat is 19 how much more life does the cat honestly have and the vet is never in a million years going to suggest it because they just want the money off you.

In hindsight I should have done this but I didn’t. My sister is very busy moving house right now so I didn’t think to phone her whilst at the vets. I had taken on the task of taking the cats to the vets and so went along with it. £200 is a lot of money to me too. Me and my sister happen to earn exactly the same salary and we both have savings. It’s obviously still a huge chunk of money which is why I have pet insurance. The vet made it sound like this was the only option and just needed to be done, hard to explain.

@InWithPeaceOutWithStress Please follow the advice of a vet who has spent years studying to care for animals, rather than that of people on the internet who have not even met the cat. I would love to know how many of these people are vets!
If people have really got you worried then try a different vet practice for a second opinion

I think you've done the right thing. Your sister or mum should pay you the £300 incurred so far, and then it's up to them whether they decide to continue treatment or PTS.

With treatment she could have quality of life
No. She's 19 with severe hypothyroidism. The outlook for quality of life is not good.

The diet can slow things getting worse, and the tablets can suppress the thyroid function. But the tablets have the potential for side effects, and whilst they're for life they are not permanent fix. Eventually the side effects catch-up. The blood tests will need to be repeated regularly to monitor the dose. I speak from experience as not only did I have an elderly cat that developed hypothyroidism I have also suffered from it myself - at one time the cat and I were on the same medication.

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