To have taken my sisters cat to the vet and hope she will pay

[InWithPeaceOutWithStress]

My sister has a 19 year old cat.
Cat has lived at our mums house for a couple of years because my sister has a younger cat and a child and felt the older cat would be happier at my mums house.

Cat has come to stay at my house as my mum has gone on holiday.
Cat is clearly not well - skin and bones, ravenous and thirsty but not putting on weight. I weighed her and she is just over 2kgs. Breathing heavily at times and unsteady on her feet.

I messaged my mum to say I think cat needs to go to vet, I’ve had no response for 3 days. she’s in the U.K., not abroad.

Phoned my sister who agreed I could take her to the vet.
Vet wanted to do blood panel due to suspected hyperthyroidism so I got the ok from sister by text (she is owner so needs to agree). Sisters response to the possible diagnosis was - ‘that sounds expensive’.

Results came back and cat has severe hyperthyroidism. Too weak for surgery so treatment is special diet and pills. I explained this to sister by text and response is “ok”.

I am on the way to pick up pills now. Sister hasn’t asked me how much any of this costs (£300 so far) so is possibly expecting me to pay for it? Not sure how to approach this?

My mothers response when I’ve previously suggested cat is ill and should go to the vets is “she’s just old”.

sisters response when I said cat may also have renal failure, just to warn her that outlook may not be good was “she’s super old I wouldn’t be surprised if she needs to be put down”.

its like they both just think oh she’s old, just let her die.

But she is really suffering with the hyperthyroidism as she eats and eats but doesn’t get nutrition. With treatment she could have quality of life so to me it’s a no brainer to give her that.

I have two cats and I love them ti pieces, can’t imagine letting them come to this. I also have pet insurance for them, she doesn’t. I’m picking up the cost possibly. Should I have stayed out of this? It felt negligent to not take her to the vets whilst under my care and clearly ill.

feel really put off my mum and sister as they seem so heartless. Or am I being a martyr?

not sure how to convince my mum to buy / give cat the special food and pills once the lot I’ve got runs out.

vet needs to do more bloods in 2 weeks to check treatment is working so it may be easier to keep cat with me till then. Treatment will be for life.

I’m considering keeping cat but my partner is not keen because there is an impact on our existing two cats. They’re scared of older cat and have retreated upstairs and have been vomiting so I think they are stressed by her.

AIBU = I should have stayed out of this. Now I’ve got involved I need to suck it up in terms of vet bills and ongoing care.

IANBU = I was right to take cat to vets and sister is the owner and responsible for care, including paying me back.

If you had taken the cat to the vet without notifying your sister I would saying paying is on you. Since she knew she is on the hook for her animal.

It's not the vets decision. If they pts without the owners consent then they could be in legal trouble.

The owner should be taking responsibility.

The op says the cat has renal failure, not just hyperthyroidism. Even if the thyroid responds to treatment quickly, the cat will still have renal failure and be elderly. If breathless it may have heart failure too. Life expectancy will be limited.

Your mother should have absolutely taken the cat to the vet sooner to avoid it suffering, even if she would have put to sleep. Letting it get into this state was neglectful and cruel.

The chance of your mother or sister paying ongoing vet bills and giving the medicine and expensive special food is zero. No chance that they will do this. They will either put it to sleep when they get home, or let it get back into the same state again.

Unless you plan to take the cat on yourself I'd put it to sleep now. No point in it having a few weeks of treatment if it won't continue.

Personally I wouldn't take on the cat in your position. Your husband doesn't want to, it will upset your other pets, you are taking on a new pet just for the end of it's life (expensive and difficult). Whilst the cat could have treatment to extend its life for a short time, I also think it's ok to put it to sleep now

we don’t know she has organ failure. And her breathing is fine most of the time.

I disagree with most on here, cat is a good age but I don't think it's necessarily cruel to try and treat them just because they're old. Cats can live into their 20s so it's not ancient. I wouldn't be waiting very long though to make the decision on if meds were helping.

If you're willing to take on all responsibility for the cat, I'd try the initial treatment then if no improvement after the next set of blood tests or if the cat gets stressed taking the pills PTS.

If cat is going back to your mum/sister then it's going to be better off PTS now, they let it get into this state with no treatment, they aren't going to keep up with any meds so better off letting the cat go quietly rather than carry on suffering.

Oh love. I know how hard it is but honestly it sounds like the DCat is miserable.

Our DBoycat was put on renal food and steroids at 18 and it wasn't good. He was in so much pain (he had cancer) and I was paralysed with the idea of letting him go. But we had to as he wasn't going to get better.

I'm surprised the vet hasn't mentioned letting the cat go. I'm so sorry.

Is the cat really 19 or is that just what they are telling you?

I agree that vets don’t tend to suggest PTS.

I had to almost beg the vet to tell me whether I should PTS or not and she admitted that she’s not supposed to say and diplomatically said that it would likely be best to PTS within the next few weeks.

I don’t think it’s from a money grabbing POV but it is your pet and your responsibility and if you felt you were pushed into that decision then you’d never get over it.

Having been down a similar path with an elderly cat before, I’m not sure I would have agreed to testing and treatment either. We put one of our cats through quite a bit at the end and it only delayed the inevitable. I really wish I had been a bit more strategic from the beginning and just made a firm decision to PTS when she started to decline.

should you have taken the cat to the vet? Probably. You saw an animal in distress and responded.

should you expect your family to continue the treatment indefinitely? Possibly not. They should talk to the vet and get a realistic prognosis.

Vet took 1k off my pensioner dm for an old dcat... Tests..
Then another 200 quid to pts anyway. They saw you coming op.

I still haven't forgiven the vet who persuaded Mrs G (against my better judgement) not to put one of our cats to sleep. He used the old 'well if it was my cat I'd give her another chance' routine. The cat died alone in the vets on a drip that night.
Then the bastards gave me the bill including a fictitious charge for euthanising her. My guess is they thought I wouldn't examine the bill closely so they could get away with it. Some vets are great - I'm afraid in my experience some are utter shits.

As a true cat lover who went through similar with one of my cats a few months ago I think the kindest and most humane thing to do is have them pts. 19 is a fantastic age for a cat. Taking them back and forth to the vet and having tests and treatment is not something I would put them through.

It sounds like your mum and sister were not wanting to make a decision and hoping the cat might gradually fade and die naturally. At 19 and frail with severe hyperthyroidism and kidney failure, and the high costs of a specialist diet, medication and ongoing blood tests, maybe your mum wouldn’t choose to treat the cat. I think ignoring your phone calls for 3 days says a lot.

2kg? That is so cruel of your sister to allow the cat to become so emaciated. I’m afraid vets will often string out treatment, they often assume everyone has pet insurance.
The cat now has a lifelong condition and at 19 I would have her gently pts.

If giving her the pills is not stressful for her (and for some it is, some it isn't so it's worth a try) then you may see a marked improvement over the next few days/weeks...

However if there is other organ failure present, that won't last long...

As the adult in charge of the animal at the time, you actually had a legal duty to prevent unecessary suffering, so taking the cat to the vet was the right thing to do.

As you are not the cats owner, you cannot make a decision on PTS and most vets would be reluctant except in really hopeless cases, to take a texted 'yes' on a PTS decision.

So you have done the right, and legal, thing. Whether the cats owner coughs up though... thats another matter!

Hyperthyroidism responds well to medication and if this cat has a good quality of life otherwise and is content, then I'd give it a go OP. It's heartless and cruel just to kill her because she's old and has been neglected. She could have another year or so of good quality life. I can't believe how many are just saying put her to sleep. The vet obviously feels it's worth a try and good on them. Your family are appalling for neglecting her.

OP the choice here is simple. Your mum and sister are unlikely to continue with any expensive treatment.
Your choices are
a) Hand the cat back with no inkling of what will end up happening to it
b) Keep it, pay for everything and continue stressing your existing cats out in the process
c) PTS

You can't control what the cat's actual owners do and none of this js your call to make anyway.

I am appalled about all the comments about the vet, the vast vast majority of vets in this country are employees (mainly of corporate practices, some independents) or increasingly locums. They are not on commission and are plenty busy enough (having massive staff shortages across the industry) without doing unnecessary treatment to make more money for distant shareholders. It is far more distressing for vets to continue treating poorly animals who are suffering but who’s owners aren’t ready to let go, than to put to sleep animals who are ready.

Increasingly, the pet owning public (or pet parents as they are now sometimes referred to) do want all the bells and whistles when their animals are sick and age is not automatically a barrier to that. I will sometimes gently drop in the concept that pts wouldnt be the wrong thing to do in cases like this and see how it lands, but some clients will look shocked at the mere suggestion, so it is very difficult for vets to read the client.

I also wonder if the vet hasn’t suggested pts at this stage as

1. it is not an acute emergency
2. you are a carer rather than owner so are not legally allowed to decide that on your own
3. hyperthyroidism is treatable in a large proportion of cases - being thin is a symptom of the disease - (which does sound advanced due to your sister/mum delaying taking the cat to the vet). Cats on treatment often regain the weight rapidly - although there can be issues with dosing, side effects and sometimes comorbidities such as kidneys.

Ultimately the choices are

1. give treatment a go being mindful of costs, potential complications and consequences. Treatment can be tablets, oral liquid or topical gel.

2. PTS

this is a decision for your sister. I would be strongly advising your sister to call the vets and have this conversation herself. I would also caution you about running up more bills on another persons behalf because I don’t know how you stand legally…. Have the bills been run up in an account in your name or on her account with her permission?

It doesn't wolf down much if its 50-60% of its ideal bodyweight.

My cat (20) declined very quickly this year, dropping from 4 to 3.3 kg and the vet thought he could feel a tumour. Appetite dropped, unsteady on his feet and a real lethargy. Blood tests which would have diagnosed this were £200+ and even then not necessarily any treatment so we just gave him a nice weekend and decided it was best all round to be PTS.

Edit - YANBU to take them to the vet though. Sounds like your sister has her head in the sand a bit.

My parent’s DDog was PTS at 17. He had dementia and poor eyesight, would get lost in the house and stand and bark at things that weren’t there. But he was still eating and drinking, fully continent, enjoyed short walks and didn’t seem to be in physical pain.

When asked about how to make the decision to PTS, the vet said that more owners regret waiting too long than worry that it was too soon.

Totally agree. As a cat owner myself I feel it's unfair to keep an elderly cat like this. Her quality of life may not improve with a different diet at her age.

yes. I phoned my sister first to seek agreement. I explained that i had weighed her and was concerned, and that we should check whether it was something treatable. The vet then told me her condition was treatable.

YANBU we have a duty of care for our animals.

i personally would have done the same and I would consider giving the thyroid medicine for a month - assuming the cat is easy to handle and happy to take pills/it’s only one pill.

its a hormone imbalance so once you have the meds it’s sorted. What your mum and sister did is neglect and the cat suffered.

if the cat isn’t easy to handle and isn’t made comfortable on for table I’d PTS.

I think you did the right thing taking the poor thing to the vets. Given you have the medication now, I think I'd see how well they respond over the next couple of weeks. My cat was diagnosed with the same at 11 (so obvs a fair bit younger) and the difference in her after this time was astonishing. If they don't seem much better and do actually have renal failure as well, it's certainly time to PTS. Heartbreaking, but necessary. Sending hugs - it's not nice and I agree that your mum and sis don't seem bothered at all.

My cat did too. We would wave the syringe and she would come running!