To have taken my sisters cat to the vet and hope she will pay

[InWithPeaceOutWithStress]

My sister has a 19 year old cat.
Cat has lived at our mums house for a couple of years because my sister has a younger cat and a child and felt the older cat would be happier at my mums house.

Cat has come to stay at my house as my mum has gone on holiday.
Cat is clearly not well - skin and bones, ravenous and thirsty but not putting on weight. I weighed her and she is just over 2kgs. Breathing heavily at times and unsteady on her feet.

I messaged my mum to say I think cat needs to go to vet, I’ve had no response for 3 days. she’s in the U.K., not abroad.

Phoned my sister who agreed I could take her to the vet.
Vet wanted to do blood panel due to suspected hyperthyroidism so I got the ok from sister by text (she is owner so needs to agree). Sisters response to the possible diagnosis was - ‘that sounds expensive’.

Results came back and cat has severe hyperthyroidism. Too weak for surgery so treatment is special diet and pills. I explained this to sister by text and response is “ok”.

I am on the way to pick up pills now. Sister hasn’t asked me how much any of this costs (£300 so far) so is possibly expecting me to pay for it? Not sure how to approach this?

My mothers response when I’ve previously suggested cat is ill and should go to the vets is “she’s just old”.

sisters response when I said cat may also have renal failure, just to warn her that outlook may not be good was “she’s super old I wouldn’t be surprised if she needs to be put down”.

its like they both just think oh she’s old, just let her die.

But she is really suffering with the hyperthyroidism as she eats and eats but doesn’t get nutrition. With treatment she could have quality of life so to me it’s a no brainer to give her that.

I have two cats and I love them ti pieces, can’t imagine letting them come to this. I also have pet insurance for them, she doesn’t. I’m picking up the cost possibly. Should I have stayed out of this? It felt negligent to not take her to the vets whilst under my care and clearly ill.

feel really put off my mum and sister as they seem so heartless. Or am I being a martyr?

not sure how to convince my mum to buy / give cat the special food and pills once the lot I’ve got runs out.

vet needs to do more bloods in 2 weeks to check treatment is working so it may be easier to keep cat with me till then. Treatment will be for life.

I’m considering keeping cat but my partner is not keen because there is an impact on our existing two cats. They’re scared of older cat and have retreated upstairs and have been vomiting so I think they are stressed by her.

AIBU = I should have stayed out of this. Now I’ve got involved I need to suck it up in terms of vet bills and ongoing care.

IANBU = I was right to take cat to vets and sister is the owner and responsible for care, including paying me back.

I completely agree with this. Well done for taking the wee mite to the vets. I hope you can talk sense into your mum and sister re. what happens next whether that be treatment if the cat is responding well or euthanasia. I have a sibling who hasn't got a great track record with pets too, it makes me angry because like you say we're responsible for them and ensuring all their needs are met.

I'd keep the cat. Your mum and sister are neglectful. No way would I let that poor cat back there.

If the vets think the hyperthyroidism can be kept under control with drugs and the cat is otherwise healthy, then you may be surprised at how fast she picks up and regains weight once the medicine kicks in. It's also available as a liquid in the UK (and elsewhere), which can be dripped over the wet food. My also 19yo cat has been on the liquid version for about 2 1/2 years now: his main symptom was also alarming weight loss, despite a very good appetite. He quickly regained the lost weight, and still seems to be enjoying his daily wanders around the garden. Hyperthyroidism by itself need not be an immediate death sentence.

You're a kind person OP and could see the cat was going through avoidable suffering. Ethically, if the cat is OK with the treatment, it is the right thing to do for the animal, to treat it. However, it's not your cat. You might be too emotionally involved? Truth is, people consider euthanasia as a treatment option for animals when they can't face the bill. It's your sisters decision whether she wants to pay or perhaps give the cat to you to look after, all bills included, for its final weeks or years.

You can't make decisions and bill someone for it unless they are explicitly aware of the cost, especially in this climate. So I would say, ask your sister to cover it, but expect to end up at least contributing for the intervention it's had so far.

Thankfully not in my experience. When my cat was elderly and ill the vet suggested we PTS. We agreed to it and at the last minute said no - we had an inkling that he had gone downhill due to a change in medication and we were right. The vet had said it couldn't be the medication but when I discussed it with a senior vet he told me he'd come across a similar reaction before.

If you're not sure, ask for a second opinion

Not sure how this works as I don’t have pets. I hope you haven’t committed to paying for anything, because unless you seriously plan on keeping the cat your sister should have been given the choice of whether to pay for the treatment. Sounds callous but the cost of vet care is really prohibitive for most people there comes a point when you have to balance up cost vs quality of life and it sounds like it might be kinder to put it to sleep, poor thing.
First of all, decide if you want to keep the cat and if so if you will pay for treatment.
If you decide not to keep it, contact sister and say ‘look I don’t want to sign up for indefinite and costly treatment if it’s not what you want, so you need to let me know if you want to commit to this or would rather the cat was euthanised, which might be kinder’ or similar. She doesn’t get to not agree to euthanasia yet expect you to pay for the treatment. The cat certainly can’t be expected to go on without treatment, if at all.

What your sister and mother are doing is abuse and neglect in law so you are doing the right thing …

I would keep the cat there’s things you can do to help them live together

feliway plug ins
plug one on each floor and in the rooms they use
feliway spray
spray beds
carpets
soft furnishings
Leave for 1/2 hour before allowing cats into area
cat nip spray
spray your hands then smooth the a cat down repeat with each cat they’ll soon start investigating each other

Vets will honestly rip the arse when it comes to stuff like this, she would honestly be better of pts. But if they can make some money before that they will, our elderly dog was 15 and could barely walk,kept taking weird fits and the vets were like oh give her this medication...at 180 quid a month ,it will help. All we did was prolong her suffering and ours by doing that for 6 months in the hope she'd get better before finally deciding to have her pts. It's definitely quality not quantity when it comes to animals

Some shocking remarks about vets on here.
#NOMV
The vet has examined the cat, run tests and recommended a course of treatment based on the information they have and discussions with either the op or the owner.
Your sister has given consent, the account is in her name so it's her that will receive the invoice. Don't pay beforehand and they will invoice her as is appropriate.

Hands up to not reading full thread! Just seen the account is in your name so I'm afraid you will be on the hook for the bill if your sister refuses to pay.
I hope she does the right thing both by the cat and you op xx

I had an 18 year old cat with thyroid problems, the vet was excellent at discussing the treatment options. We went with daily medication as that was the least distressing for him.

Unfortunately he did die from something unrelated not that long afterwards, but his last months were a lot happier on the medication.

Sounds like your sis shouldn't own any pets really if she's just going to give them away when she's bored of them!! I also don't understand how this cat got to be 19 but wasn't registered with any vet??

This. And I’m glad you’re looking out for her, OP — you sound lovely.

Oh gosh, a 19 year old cat with severe hyperthyroidism? The poor thing will be suffering. If it were me I would opt to euthanise. Cat has lived a good long life! You would need to pay for that too though…

If this was my cat she’d have the best treatment available and I certainly wouldn’t be Ending her life if I didn’t need to. I am however, very emotionally attached to my cat.
i don’t think your sister or mother really care about the cat, otherwise you wouldn’t be in this situation.
you either take the cat on, continue to pay for it’s treatment or walk away and see how your Mum takes it forward.
let the £300 go, it’s not worth the battle as they don’t really care about this cats life x

Hello. I wanted to give an update. When I spoke to my mum she gave it some thought and the next day she asked me to look after the cat as I would provide better care at this stage and can keep taking her to my local vet for continuity of care. We agreed that we would give treatment a go as per the vets advice, to give her a chance. If she improved and treatment was stable etc then I would return cat to my mums house at that point. She is grateful to me for taking this on and will take on the financial burden for me.

That was the plan as of Saturday (3 days ago) however sadly the cat has taken a turn for the worse and earlier today had a seizure which was horrible. We took her to the vet a little later. The person I had spoken to when I called advised me to bring her in for a blood test as there may be an issue with the medication.

I believe the vet we saw today is more experienced than the last one I saw. She immediately advised PTS. She advised against any further investigations. The whole discussion was about PTS this time.

It’s very upsetting and difficult but I agree with this second vet. I will give my mum and sisters a chance to see her and say goodbye if they wish and then will get her booked in.

Cat is sleeping peacefully right now.

She was registered as a kitten / younger cat but then that vet since closed down.

For the best perhaps...but still a sad outcome.

Thank you OP for doing this and caring .Glad you saw the right person when the situation had changed and hope she is peaceful until she has passed.
All we can ask really

Bless you for caring for this poor cat OP.

Awful that your mum didn't register her with a vet when she took her on and get her diagnosed way before this point. Letting her get to that state and doing nothing about it was extremely cruel. Your sister dumping the cat on her is just as bad, pets aren't toys that you get rid of when you get a newer better one. None of them deserve to have pets.

I'm glad you're doing the right thing by putting the poor thing to sleep. Please don't let her suffer on just so people that didn't bother looking after her can say goodbye.

You are doing the right thing OP. I know it's sad but necessary. 😢

That’s a shame OP but I think it’s time for her to go. My cat is 14 and has hyperthyroidism. It’s not proving easy to treat, the medication made her very sick, the vet said there was a chance surgery would not work and radiotherapy was an option but costs would be in the thousands and she’d have to go away for a while.

We’ve tried to manage with diet but just taken her back to the vets as she’s still losing weight and seems to find it difficult to jump or move easily.

We are considering the surgery but I really don’t her to suffer. I know cats are good at concealing pain.

Completely agree with this. I would not put a 19 year old cat through this.

This. The elderly cat has reached the end of her life. Sorry.