To have taken my sisters cat to the vet and hope she will pay

[InWithPeaceOutWithStress]

My sister has a 19 year old cat.
Cat has lived at our mums house for a couple of years because my sister has a younger cat and a child and felt the older cat would be happier at my mums house.

Cat has come to stay at my house as my mum has gone on holiday.
Cat is clearly not well - skin and bones, ravenous and thirsty but not putting on weight. I weighed her and she is just over 2kgs. Breathing heavily at times and unsteady on her feet.

I messaged my mum to say I think cat needs to go to vet, I’ve had no response for 3 days. she’s in the U.K., not abroad.

Phoned my sister who agreed I could take her to the vet.
Vet wanted to do blood panel due to suspected hyperthyroidism so I got the ok from sister by text (she is owner so needs to agree). Sisters response to the possible diagnosis was - ‘that sounds expensive’.

Results came back and cat has severe hyperthyroidism. Too weak for surgery so treatment is special diet and pills. I explained this to sister by text and response is “ok”.

I am on the way to pick up pills now. Sister hasn’t asked me how much any of this costs (£300 so far) so is possibly expecting me to pay for it? Not sure how to approach this?

My mothers response when I’ve previously suggested cat is ill and should go to the vets is “she’s just old”.

sisters response when I said cat may also have renal failure, just to warn her that outlook may not be good was “she’s super old I wouldn’t be surprised if she needs to be put down”.

its like they both just think oh she’s old, just let her die.

But she is really suffering with the hyperthyroidism as she eats and eats but doesn’t get nutrition. With treatment she could have quality of life so to me it’s a no brainer to give her that.

I have two cats and I love them ti pieces, can’t imagine letting them come to this. I also have pet insurance for them, she doesn’t. I’m picking up the cost possibly. Should I have stayed out of this? It felt negligent to not take her to the vets whilst under my care and clearly ill.

feel really put off my mum and sister as they seem so heartless. Or am I being a martyr?

not sure how to convince my mum to buy / give cat the special food and pills once the lot I’ve got runs out.

vet needs to do more bloods in 2 weeks to check treatment is working so it may be easier to keep cat with me till then. Treatment will be for life.

I’m considering keeping cat but my partner is not keen because there is an impact on our existing two cats. They’re scared of older cat and have retreated upstairs and have been vomiting so I think they are stressed by her.

AIBU = I should have stayed out of this. Now I’ve got involved I need to suck it up in terms of vet bills and ongoing care.

IANBU = I was right to take cat to vets and sister is the owner and responsible for care, including paying me back.

If I was 80 years old with laboured breathing, rapidly wasting away and starting to suffer organ failure - that's the exact point I'd wish for Dignitas to be a viable option in this country. Why the heck would it matter to me that some have made it to 96.

At least our pets have a decent, painless way out if anyone cares for a decent, painless way out. Not everyone does, of course.

Definitely PTS time. You can’t sign your family up for that sort of on going treatment so you’re only delaying the inevitable and frankly it sounds like they are just waiting for her to die. Ask them if they’d like her PTS.

You def should have told them costs…and if they don’t have insurance that sort of monthly expense will be out of the reach of a lot of people.

I would let the cat have the treatment and see if it responds

I actually think that the vet should have suggested the cat was put to sleep.

Because the vet is only interested in money. No one needs to be a veterinary professional to see at that age PTS is the kindest and a very valid welfare option.

Sorry I disagree. Was in the same situation with a 17 year old cat. Only difference was he was insured. Once started on medication he gained weight and for the remaining 3 years of his life was happy and contented. OP, if you’re prepared to take on the financial responsibility at least give the treatment a little while to make a difference. If it doesn’t then consider PTS.

Think you either suck up the cost but know its going to keep increasing and who is going to give the tablets lots of trips to vets which is a big commitment. Or you get cat pts which might be the best option sadly.
My old cat was on long term meds for the last couple of yrs of his life
He did well but it was expensive time consuming and involved family members covering when I went on holiday. He took tablets well, didn't mind the vets all things to be considered at an advanced age .

Many independent vets have been bought out by much larger companies who are more interested in satisfying share holders than putting animals first.

Those of us who have had good vets and seen the change when they were bought out are not making it up. The partners who sell their practices often leave within 12 months of selling because they don't like the way they are expected to generate profit.

Doesn't really matter if what you did was reasonable or not, or what treatment you think there should be. If you mum/ sister don't want to pay for ongoing treatment they won't. You did what you thought was best in the moment, they have the responsibility to decide from here on. I hope you get your money back though.

If they cared about the cat they would have taken her to the vet when it was obvious she was ill. They didn’t so I doubt they will look after the cat now, it’s just going to suffer more

I think prolonging the poor creatures life would be unnecessarily cruel. 19 is extremely elderly for a cat. She really needs to be put to sleep I'm afraid. I don't really trust the vets diagnoses and treatment suggestions to be honest in a cat of that age.

That poor cat . It's not going to improve . The vet will get a decent amount then probably suggest putting her down.
Go to another vet .

Someone needs to ask the vet why he has not advised PTS. Shocking, Poor cat

I'm a huge cat lover, honestly I'm obsessed with cats. However, even I think it would probably be best to put the cat down in this case. Sometimes, because you love them, you have to do what's best for them, rather than cling on to keeping them alive.
The cat is very old - 97 in human years! And I think it's time to say goodbye. Frequent vet visits, blood tests and medication will stress the cat out. It won't have a good quality of life.

My cat is 19 and has hyperthyroidism. She is still pretty happy in herself and is trotting about and loving a fuss. But despite the treatment she is on (thyronorm) she is still losing weight. Our vet has said that whilst she is still happy in herself then if we want to continue treatment then that's up to us but any time from now is reasonable to PTS. We are giving her the summer as she is enjoying lying in the sun in the garden but will take her to be PTS by summers end. She is 2.75kg and I cannot imagine how much thinner she would be at 2kg. In all honesty, it sounds like your sister's cat might be better off PTS. She has effectively wiped her hands of her anyway by passing her on to your mum and it doesn't sound like your mum cares too much. If she's not going to get much out of the next few months there is probably very little point in dragging it out. I think thyronorm never helped our cat to gain weight, only slowed the rate at which she has been losing it.

sisters response when I said cat may also have renal failure, just to warn her that outlook may not be good was “she’s super old I wouldn’t be surprised if she needs to be put down”.

I said the exact same thing when my own cat was unwell.

You are choosing to try and extend her life, which is good intentions but this will only extend it for a few weeks/months at most.

I personally would have rang my sister and told them what the vet said and asked what she’d like to do.

If she said PTS but you wanted to try the medication, then I would have asked if she minded but not expected her to pay for the medication herself.

A couple of other things that might be useful -
Thyronorm is giving in liquid form so needs to be syringed into their mouth. Our cat actively loves it though and so comes and shouts at you if you are late with the dose.

Our vet said it was a slow and unpleasant deterioration so it was better to put to sleep before they really look miserable as they will be suffering a lot without you realising.

I think that's what I'd do. 19 is an amazing age.

I’m sorry your cat is coming to the end of her life.
You sound like a great owner and she’s obviously had a very lovely life 💐

They won't in my experience. With all three of nine. I had to make that call. Which is really really hard, but it was the right thing and the vets agreed that it was, after I'd made the decision.

Then you need to make that decision, for the cat's sake. A decent vet would have suggested it, instead of making money, at the cat's expense.

Am I the only one who thinks it's worth treating this poor little cat? I've had cats that age and while I would never prolong their life for my sake, if it's something that can be treated I'd give it a go (and have done on several occasions). I couldn't imagine not at least trying.

I currently have one cat on lifelong expensive meds and a horse on even more expensive drugs, but the difference the meds make to their quality of life is worth it.

let the vet decide whether to treat or not, not mumsnet

Agree I'm surprised vets didn't agree to PTS. When I've took old pets to the vets they won't put them through the treatment. They say it's kinder to let them go.

Yes I’m hindsight this would have been better, I should have refused. But I didn’t realise how bad things were until I observed her for a little bit at my house and then later I got the diagnosis from the vet.