It is a long time and hard to walk away but in the circumstances you’ve described it’s the only right option.
Your life isn’t going to get better by marrying an emotional abuser. Statistically, once you are legally bound to one another, abuse gets worse after marriage (and after kids, as you’ve already found). He’s only going to get nastier and no, he won’t divorce you because he’d stand too much to lose financially. Instead he’ll use your weight as a justification to cheat.
In your shoes, I’d be calling off the wedding. Why should this dickhead get free range to insult and abuse you till death do us part? Why should he be entitled to half of anything you own, inherit, half your pension etc?
Yep, you have a house and kids together but can you honestly say that you never ever see yourself splitting up in the future, given his current behaviour? Are you honestly so intent on marrying that you will put up with being insulted for the rest of your life? It seems to me like you’d just be kicking the can of splitting up further down the road, and it’s easier legally to split up now before you are married.
Will it be disruptive for a bit, and a lot of emotional upheaval?Yes but 100 percent worth it.
Staying with him won’t be better for the kids either…if you’ve sons they’ll learn that this is how you treat a woman, if you have daughters they’ll learn that this is all they’ll deserve.
You can live your life without him and thrive.
There’s no way you can say the same about marrying this nasty piece of work.
Expect tears, begging, swearing blind he’ll change. It’s all an act. He won’t.
Walk away, you deserve so so much better than this absolute twat.