To think dH has well and truly done it for me! Quick responses needed pls!

[Iusedtobecarmen]

Been with DP 20 yrs plus. 4 dc. Not getting on great for a while. Long story. He talks to me like shit(denies it) I sulk. Vicious circle.
Make up for a bit. Back to square one.
Anyhow. Fell out a week or so ago. Silent treatment all round.
I have a hen do in Europe. Leaving tomorrow for 2 days. I didn't want to leave on bad terms as I normally never leave him and dc.
Made a kind of apology/ make the peace on Monday. He didn't really respond.
Thought tonight he may try and speak or make amends. He hasn't. Leave 10am tomorrow I won't see him. I said goodnight, see you in 2 days. He just said yeah see ya.
I could cry. It's ruined my time away. He's been an arsehole. I've never felt like this before. Pls respond ASAP as I have to be up at 5am😪

Go to sleep. Focus on your time away and try to enjoy. Deal with him and the relationship shit when you’re home. I hope you manage to have a good time away. Don’t let him spoil it for you

Go and enjoy yourself, don’t let him ruin anything more than he has already.

Oh op, go and enjoy yourself! Men are such arseholes !!

He's doing this to spoil your time away, don't give him that power.

I’m not really sure what you want us to say really.
I’d just advise pretending he doesn’t exist for the time that you’re away and dealing with the next step when you get back.

Why are you letting him spoil it. Go and have fun. Don't waste your break on his bullshit.

I think he thinks you’ll make a grand gesture to make up before you go! Or he wants to ruin it for you.

Dig deep- do nothing, let him stew. Let him feel the emptiness of the house whilst your away. Try your best to park it and enjoy your two days.

When your back think hard if this is how you want the rest of your life to be!

Have a great time!

Get some sleep, compartmentalise this into a little "fuck this till I get back" box in your head, and go and have an amazing time.

When you get home, you need to have the "come to Jesus" talk. A relationship full of arguing, being nasty, sulking and silent treatment is no relationship (and not a happy environment for any kids to be in) so you both need to decide if you want to salvage the relationship, which would probably mean counselling, or get started on separation.

But for now, for right now - fuck it. Party like you're 22 and have an amazing time, blow off the steam and the funk of the silent treatment, don't let it spoil your trip.

Go and enjoy your weekend nothing you can do now to change what's happend.
Then when back think about what YOU want to do.
How old are the children. They whatever age know what is going on.
Do you want to live this life for the next however many years.
Get your ducks in a row.

He is doing this to ruin your trip! Forget about him and have a good time. Deal with him when you're back.

This!

Also, you do not have to be with someone who talks to you like shit, (this also includes regardless of how long you've been together).

Go and enjoy your holiday and when you get back have a good long think about what your ideal future looks like. Is he in it?

He's probably doing it so you think about it the whole time you're away or so you change your mind don't go.

As long as the kids will be fine and looked after I wouldn't even worry about him.

You both sound immature and you are creating a toxic environment for your children. That's what you should really be thinking about.

Go and enjoy yourself.

Has it occurred to you you’re being punished for the trip and he wants to make it miserable for you.

Thanks all. Really positive. Just needed to rant I suppose.

Just ignore him back for now. Go and enjoy your trip.

How is he with your DC? Bring them treats home from your trip as I imagine they will miss you and have to put up with his sulking and shit parenting for a few days.

Not getting on great for a while. Long story. He talks to me like shit(denies it) I sulk. Vicious circle.
Make up for a bit. Back to square one.
Anyhow. Fell out a week or so ago. Silent treatment all round.

Your poor kids.

Going against the grain, sulking is emotionally abuse. If a woman posted, she'd be told to not give in if her partner is suddenly wanting a reconciliation to enjoy his trip away. I agree that you should concentrate on your break away. But when you get back you need to discuss getting out of the cycle you have both got into. This is a terrible environment for your children, ask anyone who has a parent that sulks.

Go off on your friends Hen Weekend and have fun ! Just park the problem with the man child and be thankful it’s not your Hen Weekend!!

You both sound as bad as each other.

You have been equally involved in the falling out, equally involved in the silent treatment and now for you’re own benefit (not that of you both, your relationship or your family life) you’ve “sort of” apologised and are unhappy when he’s not followed suit.

Time to behave like adults.

@WallaceinAnderland
I agree. But it isn't me!!

Go, have fun, put him to the back of your mind and focus on you.

When you get back decide if the shit he's pulling is worth more or less than the good stuff for keeping him around.

Exactly this. Go and have the best time and worry about it when you come back. Changes clearly need to be made, but have this couple of days to let your hair down. So long as you know your children will be happy and safe, that's the main thing.

Just to add, children pick up on so much tension in houses, even when you try to hide it. When you get home, it's probably time to work out what's best to do for their sakes.

I disagree it's my fault. I'd happily talk things through. He won't. But expects me to just move on without discussion or resolving things. Driven me to sulk out of frustration.

Ignore the plank - enjoy a break away from his toxicity!