To think dH has well and truly done it for me! Quick responses needed pls!

[Iusedtobecarmen]

Been with DP 20 yrs plus. 4 dc. Not getting on great for a while. Long story. He talks to me like shit(denies it) I sulk. Vicious circle.
Make up for a bit. Back to square one.
Anyhow. Fell out a week or so ago. Silent treatment all round.
I have a hen do in Europe. Leaving tomorrow for 2 days. I didn't want to leave on bad terms as I normally never leave him and dc.
Made a kind of apology/ make the peace on Monday. He didn't really respond.
Thought tonight he may try and speak or make amends. He hasn't. Leave 10am tomorrow I won't see him. I said goodnight, see you in 2 days. He just said yeah see ya.
I could cry. It's ruined my time away. He's been an arsehole. I've never felt like this before. Pls respond ASAP as I have to be up at 5am😪

She said she sulks when he talks to her like shit, I mean that is usually a reason to be upset or am I going fucking insane.

Agree the children are suffering from the toxic environment but it's because of their Dad speaking to their mother like shit!

See the thing is when I used to go clubbing I rarely saw groups of couples or a couple out, it was always gangs of men and groups of women.
If it's just about dancing and drinking, it sounds like a good thing to do with your boyfriend/husband.

But of course it is not done with partners which makes me think it's about more than these two things, and to be frank, getting rat-arsed in a club when a parent seems really immature.
It's just not what grown ups do.

ok @Euro24 we established you think clubbing is only for immature hedonistic drug taking drunks who are on the lookout for sex and new partners, no need to hijack this thread any longer
I wander if you ever eat out since you can eat at home?

I think you obviously only went to ratty towny clubs.

You paint a picture of women dancing round handbags and men in identikit shirts from the high street and Lynx Africa.

Loads of people go out clubbing with their partners – I do, and as young as my teens me and my friends were going out in a group with our boyfriends. Clubs are full of people of all sexes dancing with each other – mixed groups of friends, couples both alone and in groups, and also of course people meeting each other!

I haven’t drank for years, and lots of people who go clubbing/dancing don’t drink alcohol. Near me there are also daytime and early evening rave and dance events for people who want a boogie but also want to get home early!

Just because you frequented seedy clubs just for pulling, doesn’t mean that’s where everyone else is hanging out!

Go, put him to the back of your mind, have a great time. When you're home, sit him down and have it out with him. Have in uoir mind what outcome you want. Try to enjoy the trip.

He's done this deliberately to spoil it for you x

Go. Use the time for both of you to reflect (and you to enjoy yourself).
Speak when you return.

Been married 32 years My hubby has major huffs before I go away without him for any length of time. His stress levels go through the roof and I can visibly see the change in his face, his appetite, his stance I could go on. Just learn to accept it and tolerate if you can. But- DONT LET IT STOP YOU. Remember it’s his problem not yours. You can ease it a bit by not reacting too much. I’m going to Spain in September with my besties and if he huffs. Then he huffs. Fuck him 🤣.

He needs to learn to be more mature and responsible 🙄

It is never, never okay for your husband to talk to you like shit! I wouldn’t be sulking the next time he does it, I would look him straight in the face and say ‘what did you just say to me?’. If he has the audacity to repeat himself I would simply say ‘that is highly inappropriate to say to someone you are meant to love and respect’ and then I would simply walk away and get on with my day. As the saying goes, you don’t have to attend every argument you are invited to.

I agree with other comments here. He presses your buttons knowing the reaction he will get wanting that outcome as a means of control. Flip the script and don’t given him what he wants, just calmly say the above and then remove yourself and carry on. Done.

Also think about removing yourself from this permanently!!

As for @Euro24 myself and my husband were only enjoying a Pete Tong set last weekend and Ibiza is one of our favourite places and given half a chance to go to Tomorrowland we’d be there! So, yes, some people do have grey hairs, favourite DJs and go clubbing with their husbands in 2024.

I don't know why he doesn't want you to be happy. Life is too short for this kind of relationship.

Divorce him on your return.

Who said that I went clubbing?!!
How weird

Clubbing is like the least likely thing I'd do . Very odd thing to say

I’d say he is pissed about looking after the kids, and you taking time for yourself…so creating fights so he can blame it on you.

He wants to punish you for leaving by letting you know you don’t matter. Leave, forget him completely and when you come back, have a good think about what you want your children’s future relationships to look like, because they’re growing up in a toxic home right now and this is their future.

Bet you’re fun at parties.

Let people enjoy what they enjoy puritan

Have just been catching up. As straight back to lots of things to.do plus work.i will reply tomorrow.

The clubbing poster is the weirdest thing I've read.
Absolutely no clubbing
It was a city break. But even if I did go clubbing, it.wouldnt be on the pull ffs!!!