To think it’s a lot of mental effort to keep up with gender these days?

[Oodiks]

My 18 yo daughter recently started work at a pizza place and she’s been telling me how much more she likes this place than the last pizza place she worked at.

She didn’t want to bring food home from the first place, partly because she didn’t trust the industrial pizza dough that came on pallets, but mostly because it was all teenage boys working there and they didn’t wear gloves to prepare the food. The new place is better because they do wear gloves to prepare the food and it’s not all teenage boys.

I was a little confused, because all the names she’s mentioned, pretty much, are boy’s names, Milo is the only one I remember, but it’s all been boy’s names except for one person with a girl’s name, who she calls her work best friend. I comment and she’s, like, OMG, don’t make assumptions, it’s a very gender diverse place. But she does agree that females tend to be more hygiene aware, and we leave it like that.

But it leaves me uncomfortable. She clearly knows that these ‘boys’ are in fact girls, but can’t bring herself to say it, although she acknowledges by saying that these ‘boys’ are clean whereas she didn’t trust the ‘other boys’ to wash their hands.

What kind of mental gymnastics does that take?

None at all for me. There are men and women, very simple and no gymnastics required.

It isn’t if you don’t play the game. Stupid games get stupid prizes

It CAN be exhausting. Fortunately, I don't have any friends or family who entertain this nonsense.

I don't understand. Are you claiming that if you wash your hands and/or wear gloves to handle food, you are a woman, regardless of other characteristics?

This seems strange and wrong.

Don't make it exhausting then. "Oh ok, how nice" and on you go. You don't have to do any mental gymnastics if you don't want to.

Yes it's stupid and annoying. Hopefully it will fall out of fashion soon.

It seems that you can't immediately tell what sex her colleagues are based on name alone. Hardly mental gymnasium level of confusion.
Say they were called Alex, Sam, Jordan, Jo, Cass, Rowan etc..loads of names are unisex.
She likes working there as the hygiene practices are better. Who cares about the sex of her colleagues?

Agreed OP. It’s tedious and exhausting because it’s all total made-up bullshit.

Why would they need to wear gloves to prepare food???

If their hands are clean, what's the problem?

Forcing people to keep up with the new and ever-changing rules, definitions and pronouns is the entire point. When someone tells you their pronouns they might as well be saying, 'I've got power. You'd better keep on your toes. If you slip up, I am going to ruin you.'

So your daughter works with a bunch of people with boys names who she calls boys and you're confused as you're convinced they're girls because they wash their hands... It does sound exhausting to be you.

Sounds like it’s you who has made it unnecessarily difficult.

You heard names and applied a gender to it.

Her not telling you the gender of each person’s named is not her trying to confuse you nor is there any mental gymnastics involved or necessary. It reads like it didn’t occur to her that it mattered to you that much.

She likes the place she works more because her colleagues are more hygienic. Simple as that.

It's not about gender it's about power.

Understand this and you understand the entire ideology.

Oh, God...this is so well put.

Because teenage boys

I feel sorry for you daughter getting caught up in such nonsense, but you yourself don't have to entertain it.

The whole gender identity thing is irrelevant here.

Some people have better hygiene than others. There’s plenty of clean men and grotty women.

Gloves are no cleaner than clean hands; and can actually be dirtier as they give a false sense of security so people wash hands less frequently.

If my 18dd came home and told me that I would be taking the piss. ‘Gender diverse’? Nope. I’m not pandering to that. Why do we end up, as the grown ups, rolling over and taking this earnest teenage bollocks so seriously? And not washing their grubby hands? Seriously? The mingers need reporting to environmental health.

If you have the power to make people say things they know to be untrue you have power over them. If they fear speaking the truth, then you have power over them. This does not stop the truth. Nor does it change their sex. Sex is not gender. Gender is sexist stereotypes. You can not define gender without refering to sexist stereotypes. Sexists stereotypes are all about power. Particularly the power of men in relation to the power of women.

Now argue that gender isn't about anything more than power.

No. She's acknowledging that they are in fact female, despite their names and pronouns.

It's a bit 1984, isn't it!

No, I thought they were boys because of their names and pronouns, but my daughter is now acknowledging they are female and therefore more hygienic, while still considering them to be boys.

Nicely articulated😁

But they aren't called 'Alex, Sam, Jordan, Jo, Cass, Rowan', they have traditionally boy's names. Admittedly one of them is a Jordan, but I've always thought of Jordan as a boy's name. Is Milo now gender neutral?

The point is they have boys' names, and she uses male pronouns for them but ALSO says she likes working somewhere where it's not all teenage boys. So, I was curious, because of the male names, and here we are.

This is why kids these days are so great, they’re so accepting of each other and understand that we’re all on a spectrum. It’s us oldies who get confused, but it’s good to have an open mind and be positive about progress and kindness.