To feel angry at how few people make a plan for their own old age

[OptimismvsRealism]

We are all going to end up in a bad way unless we're lucky enough to drop down dead unexpectedly

Why do most people live in denial?

I hope they'd cleaned and decluttered as per the instructions so it wasn't too much of an inconvenience for everyone s/

My favourite is the lady who is angry her husband hasn't saved more so she can divorce him more comfortably without sharing her lovely pension. Who really made the better choice there?!

How is that controlling fgs? Poor poster clearly completely at the end of their tether, I'd be just the same

Also know a SAHM who was reliant on her H's pension plans, only to find he had hidden his assets, divorced her once her useful function in raising the kids was over, and she was left with little for her retirement. Heard a similar story from a woman on the radio.

Known another woman whose husband persuaded her to not have a solicitor in the divorce and she ended up with very little of his absolutely enormous pension. He will have a luxurious and early retirement.

So I think there are women who have relied on their H's for their pension and then get ripped off by their H's.

FullofTea, I explained my thoughts above.

Well I am fairly old, but haven’t booked the Care Home yet. DH & I look after each other & know that we absolutely do not wish to be any problem to our adult DC who all lead such busy lives.
We are saving to ensure we will be able to have personal care, when one of us dies or we become incapacitated. Would rather stay in own home as long as possible but appreciate that serious health issues may prevent this.
Arranging for POA before the end of the year too.

to feel angry???

I suggest therapy.

Is this thread intended to soften us up for a string of sponsored posts about pensions? If not, what is its point? There are a million things that we could get exercised about when it comes to how other people run their lives, but most of us have enough on our plate dealing with our own.

Oh don't be so ridiculous, we knew what they meant

Do you expect people to plan for becoming disabled as well because many people do?

You have to be really careful if you're reliant on one side's pension and one dies too.

DH died in his 50s, just as we were starting to think about early retirement. Thankfully I have my own pensions, but if I didn't I'd be retiring on less than half of what I expected. And yes, there's only one of me, but really, your expenses are much the same and you pay more tax as a result of only one personal allowance.

Surprised this thread hasn't been pulled. Some of the language used to describe old and sick people is disgusting. 'Rotting away', 'living longer than they should have', 'developing bed sores in nappies'. There's plenty of younger people who also have health problems and I don't feel like I've lived longer than I should have, even though there have been times when I've been too ill to care for myself. Thank goodness for the poster who described how her husband still found meaning and enjoyment in his life when he was terminally ill and bed-bound. It's not for other people to make a judgement on someone else's quality of life or suggest suicide.

So us poor people would be happy to euthanise ourselves is what you think…? Hate to tell you it, but despite having been depressed and suicidal due to poverty at times in my life, I’m very much a firm advocate of living and staying alive.

The problem is that most people assume their state pension will be fine and the government will look after them.

Especially if they've never been on benefits before, it's a shock to the system because they're under the impression the government gives out 40k+ a year to everyone tax-free and it's really easy and simple and is a perfectly working system 🙄

Some people put so much of their energy and resources into planning for the final 2-3 years of their lives that they miss many of their best years.

That's me! Yes I am angry. I think most people, whether they stay married or not . would be angry to find their spouse has earned enough to put into a pension, the same as you but has just not bothered. If you call not bothering to provide for your future because you are expecting someone else to pick up the pieces, a better choice then your morals are rather suspect.

And what you call a 'lovely' pension, I called a liveable pension. That's enough for basic costs plus a bit for a social life. Having to pay him half will mean I am down to enough for heating and eating in my old age.

Yeah I am angry about that and if you can't understand that then that's due to a failure of intelligence on your behalf.

My parents are mid 70s and I find it hard to believe you aren't haunted by the same horror stories their friendship groups talk about. Old age sounds much worse than death to me so I'll be avoiding it, one way or another. I don't think everyone needs to choose the same but they do need to be able to say what will happen to them. It's not good enough to just leave it to chance. This is why provision in general is so bad. Heads in the sand.

But you just said people should plan for their old age ... and now you want your own parents to spend it all and enjoy it?

Suppose that makes sense actually when you factor in your hope they can just legally kill themselves when the money runs out.

Agreed. I'm waiting for the Nest pension scheme to be the next PPI type financial scandal. The problem with most pension schemes for the 'many' is there is just not enough cash in them for them to be profitable. I worked for a financial advisor yonks ago and he reckoned you needed at least £3million before you got value got money on the costs.

The country needs a discussion as to how we look after an ageing population.

A care home cost c £1,500 per week. Very few people can set aside the sort of funds needed to have a pot of money to sustain that for very long.

It’s a massive crisis.

You sound very charming. But you have failed to understand my point, which was that saving for the future often benefits others rather than the person saving, which (if anyone is genuinely wondering why people don't do it) is an important thing to understand...

Live longer than they should have? Is david Attenborough allowed to carry on in your world?

Since being diagnosed with an incurable degenerative condition at 45 I do what Garth suggested…

And your Health and Welfare P of A needs to have a paragraph added, to state in what circs you do not want any life saving or life prolonging treatment. Otherwise you could be incapacitated with e.g. dementia or a serious stroke, with a very poor quality of life, and still be kept alive for years with umpteen medications, endless drips, ABs, etc.
And make sure whoever has P of A knows your wishes in advance and will refuse any ‘striving to keep alive’ on your behalf.

I’m with you OP. I hate it when there are property shows on tv and it’s old people moving to rural areas, when they need to plan ahead for the fact that they won’t always be able to drive (and don’t get me started on the number of elderly people who are in denial that they shouldn’t be driving any more!!) and that they will most likely need to have access to medical care as they age.

Aside from money there’s also the fact that most people do little exercise, which makes you frailer as you age. If you hardly ever get up and down from the floor in middle age you’re going to struggle to get up if you fall when you’re elderly, and you’re more likely to fall if you have weaker muscles and less balance.