To feel angry at how few people make a plan for their own old age

[OptimismvsRealism]

We are all going to end up in a bad way unless we're lucky enough to drop down dead unexpectedly

Why do most people live in denial?

Right. You're angry at other people not having the funds to save for their future but look forward to euthanasia being an option for them. Will that make you less angry then?

DH had a plan. A very good one. Unfortunately his closed pension pot from a previous job has been slowly robbed over the years by those "managing" it. When those looking after an old pension which has no money going in but charge £21 a month "fees" it makes you wonder how many other people are going to find their pension pot is non existent when they try to retire.

Everyone - please check your old pensions are okay and don't need to be moved over.

Why is it any of your business if someone doesn't have a plan? It's nothing to do with you.

It's not just about money. Money won't buy someone to watch out for you. I will be furious if I end up having to look after my parents in any way (to be honest, I won't) and no one will be looking after me.

Ok, it wasn't clear whether you meant on their demand or state mandated in some kind of Brave New World set up.

I support well regulated euthanasia for individuals who want it. I don't think available money should be one of the acceptable rationales for this. Terminal illness/poor quality of life, sure. I think you are mixing issues up too much.

What is your alternative plan then for those who can't afford to save? Share your wisdom.

I have a plan for retirement and a pension to cover that, but I can't plan for years in a care home that I may or may not need. I would need £60k a year to fund that and there is no way I can save that much.

You won’t look after your parents but I bet you’ll happily accept their money as inheritance.
What is it to you if people make a plan or not? If you’ve made one, you’re fine, right?

Having spent a lot of time around people at end of life, I don't think euthanasia is a plan for most people.

It's OK when you're fit and healthy to say you'd want to die if you ever got "like that", but the reality is the survival instinct is very strong. DH was bedbound and in a lot of pain for a year. He had nothing we'd recognise as quality of life, but he could play chess with his sons, watch his favourite films with his wife, his friend would come in and have a beer, he wasn't ready to die.

I don't need their inheritance, I've got a job. They should spend everything they've got while they can enjoy it.

Fine. But why are you so invested in other people’s retirement plans? Just do you.

OP, are you someone who likes to be in control? None of us are in control.

Because I will be expected to care for/worry about my parents because they'll live longer than they should have. And because I'll be expected to pay for others to do the same while other aspects of health and social care continue to circle the drain. And because I won't be allowed a dignified exit because of the general culture of old age complacency.

I certainly want to be in control of not losing my mind and rotting away in an old body.

Why do you give a shit what other people do and don’t do? Honestly, please get a life.

So what is your plan? Care is c. £1400 per week. Most jobs aren't going to be enough.

Plus as I said, not all the support you'll need can be paid for.

If you personally have a plan, why the fuck do you care what strangers have or have not planned for?

Or are you actually angry with your parents for not having a plan and have decided to project that onto everyone else instead of addressing the people you're actually angry with?

My PIL were living in denial for years. Plenty of money - he counted it daily in his gazional accounts which we now have to try and organise. FIL's parents both had dementia/alzheimers.

It came to a head at Christmas and we moved them out into an assisted living apartment whilst husband was going through radiotherapy. I have never been so stressed in my life. We had to clear out a 4 bed double bed house miles away full of everyone's shite - all of dh's grandparents shite as well chucked in amongst it. They never threw a thing away.

People say you won't put me in a home, well my dear that decision will be taken away from you when you have no capacity. MIL is now in a care home with dementia with a DOLS in place. This has happened since Christmas.

My advice - downsize, keep only the essentials and give your money away as soon as you can to those you love before it gets eaten up with care. Oh and get Power of Attorneys in place for health and finance asap.

I was going to say have a child who will help you.

But I’ll change that to have a child who loves you and wants to help you.

Did you really just say that if you can't afford care you should kill your self ?

Maybe you should euthanise yourself earlier than planned so that you can avoid this inconvenience

Oh, this is all about the pro euthanasia campaign.

There are so many problems with it though, starting with your message that old people are a liability who should choose to end their lives rather than be a burden.

2nd is, lots of people do live with "bedsores and nappies" for a long time. DH did and it was miserable, but he still got joy from visits with friends and family, still enjoyed a film or a puzzle. Saying you wouldn't want to live like that now, and being ready to end it all when it happens to you is not the same thing.

Ew. Such a controlling attitude.

I have adults (grandparent age) in my family that won't make wills or voice any wishes about what should happen to them should they become incapacitated. nothing to do with not having money.

I agree OP it is unfair on those who will need to help.

Can you explain your comment please? I'm unclear as to what is controlling.