Reasons you wouldn’t move to US

[Preiu]

Dh has been offered a job in the US. The increase in salary would put us into a completely different wealth bracket but I really don’t want to move.

• fear of home invasion with guns
• school shooting - guns in general I guess
• American exceptionalism attitude annoys me
• Being away from family
• Not having Europe on doorstep

Can I ask if you have any other reasons

Perhaps I wrote too soon, @Pikopikoputput . Perhaps I was lucky being immersed in university towns or neighbourhoods but I found the stereotypes completely misleading.
May I ask in very general terms what you can say about where you lived and what you found difficult about Americans?

I couldn't send my kids to school in America without fearing for their lives.

I wouldn't bring my daughter to a country where she could be prosecuted for having a miscarriage or going to a different state to abort a pregnancy that could kill her.

I couldn't work in a country with such shit work- life balance, holidays etc.

Hard pass!

The wealth is relative - we lived in California and it was a huge pay increase but that came with huge additional living expenses and high taxes

We moved back after 5 years - good experience but fires, earthquakes, guns, etc

Lack of human rights, especially around employment.

The dreadful food and all the additives, growth hormones, chlorine, pesticides they use that are banned in Europe . You are much more likely to get food poisoning in U.S.A. too.

The insurance based health care system. Even if you have good insurance through work there is always an excess and they will do anything not to pay out if you end up with a long term illness. Get cancer and you are potentially bankrupt.

Education is shockingly bad and university is insanely expensive.

Worrying moves to erode women's rights in some states.

Extreme fundamentalist Christianity.

Venomous animals.

Tornados and hurricanes.

Too hot in some states in summer.

Tick borne diseases.

Push for kids to excel in sports etc to the detriment of their health and wellbeing.

The cult like worship of big business and free market capitalism. Huge gulf between rich and poor.

The racism.

The overprescription of dangerous pharmaceuticals and the cost of prescription medications.

MAGA lunatics and Trump.

How is the UK better?

Also, knife crime and stabbings are higher in the USA than the UK, too.

Healthcare
Crap food
Wouldn't be able to work or claim benefits so would have to work illegally
I can't drive

This ^ They can fire you at the drop of a hat legally for absolutely nothing, and no unfair dismissal.

Tipping. Wilful ignorance. No decent churches.

‘Fat people’?!

I wouldn’t worry about the ignorance, you’ve got plenty of that of your own already.

Yes the tipping culture is awful. Companies don't pay their staff a basic wage, and expect the public to top it up for services that are full price.

YABU and irrational. I'm British and I live in the US at the moment.

Health insurance - if you have proper health insurance it's fabulous. My maternity care has been absolutely exceptional. My friends in the UK having babies have had nothing close to the kind of care I have had. I have an OBGYN on call who I can WhatsApp with any questions. Any kind of weird /concerning symptoms, and I get seen that afternoon! We went home to the UK at 20 weeks for a visit and I had to go to A&E for a blood clot. It was a horrific experience and a real eye opener.

Guns - especially in Connecticut, very low chance of anything happening.

You don't have Europe at your doorstep for holidays but you have quite a lot of places to visit and you also have the National parks- absolutely exceptional. Nothing in Europe compares to the vastness of US national parks. We have had some exceptional holidays in the US. You are also very close to South America and we've had some great holidays we wouldn't have taken from Europe.

I have found Americans to be friendly, open and a lot more educated than we give them credit for. Especially on the East Coast, people are quite moderate in their politics. That said, I have not met more friendly and welcoming people than in the South!

Home sickness / distance - yes, that's an issue and for you to judge.

Your job/prospects is what you need to worry about. DP and I came here with jobs lined up for both of us. Leave is not as good (20 weeks paid mat leave for me and that's generous).

It's not forever. It's about the opportunity and the new experiences. But if you're so ignorant to begin with, you would probably not appreciate it.

They can fire you for do reason with no warning. In pretty much every job you are two weeks away from unemployment.

Guns
Healthcare - especially (depending on where you're moving) women's healthcare around pregnancy.

Guns

I live in London but have also lived on the West Coast US for 20 years in the past. Pros and cons no matter where you live. Personally I like to experience new things and the thought of living in only one country for my entire life is not something I'd be happy with. We are all different though.

I think it is a shame you're focusing on just the negatives and it sounds like your mind is made up to stay here. I could list many things wrong with the UK but prefer to find the good things about why I've chosen to live here. If my husband came home with a job offer, I'd think about the good things that can come out of it.

What does your husband think? Is this an opportunity he shouldn't pass up for career advacement? If he took the job and even if you all hated it the US after 3 years for example, would it have given him the extra/different experience to return to the UK and get a better job than he has now? Would it open more doors for him and you as a family in the long run?

Huge prison population and the military industrial complex - everything is about money and nothing is about wellbeing.

Few safe guards when it comes to public health i.e. contaminated water, E.Coli in food, air pollution.

High rates of sexual assaults and violence in general.

Awful, biased and right wing news media.

Bit of a niche one, but I'd want to understand what the law is in your state around children identifying as transgender. Like abortion, it's a very polarising issue, and depending on whether you live in a red state or a blue one, you could find that either there are measures in place preventing your child from receiving "gender affirming care", or alternatively that there could be legal consequences for you if you fail to affirm your child's gender identity if they identify as trans. There have been cases of parents losing custody of their children due to this.

Whichever side of the debate you fall on, I think we all want to have the ability to act in what we believe are our child's best interests. Because this issue is a political hot potato and divided very much along party lines, there doesn't seem to be much room for nuance or intelligent debate.

Is it temporary? Are you quite young/ do you have kids? What about your job?

If you have health issues or children/ plan to have children it’s probably less than ideal.

If temporary a couple of years and you’re moving to a cosmopolitan place like NY, DC, LA, San Francisco, Chicago, … And it’s going to change your life in terms of being able to pay off mortgage/ retire early, I’d perhaps consider it.

I’ve turned down a US move previously and told ex that if he took a job there I’d visit but wouldn’t live there. It’s really one of the last places on earth I’d like to go live now.

My reasons aside from what you mentioned would be society having totally different values and norms to me, lifestyle (food quality/ standards and portion sizes even in good restaurants), inability to walk, incredible levels of unaddressed poverty/ homelessness. I’d probably just get angry every day and would also worry about picking up some bad habits.

Trump and Guns make it a no for me

I have teenaged daughters.

The gutting of abortion rights alone would prevent me from moving there. Yes, I would choose a state that currently still allows it, but there are elements of the Republican party pushing for a full-scale federal ban and it's certainly not outside of the realm of possibility that they'll get it. It's now illegal in Texas to even use public highways to get to another state where abortion is legal to obtain one. No exceptions for non-viabke pregnancies. No exception for rape and/or incest.

Thete are also.multiple states where it is illegal for a pregnant woman to.file for divorce. There are grassroots activists working to restrict access to contraception. It's not a place I would ever take a teenaged girl.to live.

Guns & Gun crime

Trump

The truly disturbing way they are religious in large tracts of the US
GUNS

Lack of annual leave. Crappy work life balance.

You are sounding a bit negative OP.
Have you made a list of the reasons for going?
Here is one: On those Eastern states there is wonderful scenery. and in winter skiing only a few hours drive away.