Reasons you wouldn’t move to US

[Preiu]

Dh has been offered a job in the US. The increase in salary would put us into a completely different wealth bracket but I really don’t want to move.

• fear of home invasion with guns
• school shooting - guns in general I guess
• American exceptionalism attitude annoys me
• Being away from family
• Not having Europe on doorstep

Can I ask if you have any other reasons

Easy driving distance to JFK?

In Connecticut or New York State, I would hazard a guess that you would have a far better quality of life than in the UK (if you would be ok far from family).

Healthcare & Biden.

Ah, I see Connecticut or New York state. Not a big culture of gun ownership/common gun carrying in either state.

Healthcare
Awful work/life balance
Guns
Violence in general
Women's rights and abortion laws

yes to having to drive everywhere and the effect this has on health.

I also think the US is a bit ugly - just big retail parks everywhere and ugly billboards. Not including their landscape. In fact having lakes, mountains to explore is a draw.

I am moving to Wyoming next year with my husband. I'm very apprehensive about it too, OP. This thread has not helped lol.

Guns, Trump, healthcare, women's reproductive rights, hurricanes, American accents.

Healthcare costs and limited time off work.

Actually, though, when I lived in the DC suburbs I absolutely loved it. Two of the best years of my life.

But if you don't want to go, don't go. It's risky to shift your family - if you split your newly ex can keep the kids in the country and make it very hard for you to get home. Expatriating is fucking hard work. The kids will cry about everything being new and difficult, your husband will be at work and you will have to deal with it.

Guns
School shootings
Cost of living
The awful entrenched racism (DH is non-white, in 40 years living in the UK the only recent, as in, past 35 years, racism he experienced was twice, about 20+ years ago, and both times was from non-white people. When he went to study in America for just TWO MONTHS he had comments from people almost DAILY, he said it was insane how casual they were about it. Was very glad to get back to the UK).

That could give you great quality of life. Time off could be an issue, as well as depending on where you are commute times. Yes Trump/Project 2025 is a frightening prospect but that's true wherever we live - if they do succeed in turning America into a minoritarian autocracy the consequences will be worldwide.

Guns, school shootings, healthcare, and I think it’s only 2 weeks annual leave entitlement for most workers.

Do you need a reason other than "I don't want to"?

Why did your husband even apply for a job in the US if you weren't on board?

Anyway, for me the reasons would be:

• too far from family and friends
• hardly any paid time off
• guns
• the politics are absolutely mental
• if you needed an abortion would you be able to get one?
• consumerist lifestyle
• even with good health insurance you can end up paying thousands a year in deductibles

I thought it was only 5 days.....

Guns
GM food, overeating culture... why is everybody so big
Big pharma culture
Segregated communities. ...different cultures do not appear to mix (if that matters to you). IMO it is important.
What will you be doing, what's the community like. Have you checked it out ?

I visited the US earlier this year. On the whole I found individual people to be friendly and helpful, especially away from the larger cities.

However, as well as the factors that have been pointed out so far, one of the biggest issues I could see was diet and lifestyle. No one walks anywhere, portion sizes are enormous and the food feels really unhealthy. Shops don't seem to sell much fresh produce, and what there is is really expensive. I could totally see how obesity and lifestyle-related health problems are a huge issue there, but could be hard to avoid.

It's a nation in decline.
I wouldn't live in a Democrat run city

I worked in NYC but lived in Jersey - moved back to London last year. NYC taxes are some of the highest in the state - can't quite remember how much but it was a lot.

Hated the clear lack of a support network for mentally ill people - it's v common in NYC to see homeless people having mental breakdowns and no one helping them. They usually end up getting arrested.

The risk of guns always made me nervous - they're stricter in NYC than other states but still far from good.

Everything is so much more complicated to sort - getting a social security number etc. It does work out but I found departments seem less well funded than over here.

Medical - insurance is expensive and as a non-native, I found it SO SO confusing.

Job contracts - you want to stay on your UK contracts. I got 33 days holiday, my US colleagues got 12. I got paid sick leave, they did not etc. The idea of having a baby there also put me off.

Food costs - everything costs about 20% more. Also some of the chemicals they allow are crazy, which is why farmers markets etc are so vital as they're not sprayed with terrifying chemicals.

I got paid a lot lot more but honestly didn't really feel like it once everything was paid more. Rent is v expensive in NYC and Connecticut.

Overall v glad I went, I did just list all the negatives here - it was good fun, and if I had been younger and single, I'd probably have stayed out there for a few years but I was very glad to leave. Food was great, made a lot of nice friends and saw the sites but I honestly think the UK is so, so, so much better!

Do you have DC OP? What age range?

99%+ of people in the US are not affected by home invasions nor are their children killed in school shootings.

.There are some wonderful places in the area you’d be going to, I’d definitely go for a few years.

If you’re going to be wealthy, you can afford excellent home security, great healthcare, private schooling and regular trips back to the UK to see family surely?

Also getting a US bank account took years off my life. Agonising!

A man with a gun could theoretically do that now, couldn’t he? It would just have to be a rifle or shotgun.

I live in a nice suburban neighborhood in the American Midwest and outside of film and TV, I’ve never even seen a gun that wasn’t for hunting. A few family members hunt deer and pheasants.

Guns. Health care cost. Abortion laws. Racism. Terrible public transport. Religious fanatics. Terrible work/life balance.

I know we have some of this in the UK too but the US seems on another level. I wouldn't want to live there even if I was rich.

Appalling employment laws
Lack of holiday days
Guns (even in a state with low ownership, still scary)
Costs of food- especially healthy stuff
Costs of bills (elec seems much higher based on feedback)
Lack of public transport
Biden or Trump (seriously you are telling me those are the best two options you have out of that massive population?)
Medical bills, even with work provided insurance there is a 'co-pay'
Over medication, and for profit healthcare.

It's a decision to make as a family of course, and there will be huge benefits I am sure but when the option came up for me, I turned it down and glad I did to this day.

Look at the Project 2025 manifesto. I wouldn't go anywhere near. Not even sure I'd go for a holiday there even if only half of it happens.

Among other things, no abortion at all, no contraception, no paid time off work.

They have the ear of Trump and it is quite likely to happen in some sort of watered down form. I don't know how much falls within state competency as opposed to federal.