Reasons you wouldn’t move to US

[Preiu]

Dh has been offered a job in the US. The increase in salary would put us into a completely different wealth bracket but I really don’t want to move.

• fear of home invasion with guns
• school shooting - guns in general I guess
• American exceptionalism attitude annoys me
• Being away from family
• Not having Europe on doorstep

Can I ask if you have any other reasons

I'd go if I were you. You can always come back if you don't like it.
Yes, you and your kids are more likely to be shot dead, but it's a tiny, tiny chance. Life's too short for filling your head with worries like this.

I wouldn't move to America for the simple fact that it's not home. I don't want to live anywhere that isn't the UK, however nice it is because my brain just doesn't work that way. I can't feel truly at home in other countries. I would always have a British accent, always feel like a foreigner and I would find it hard to truly integrate.

But the things that would bother me specifically about America would be guns, healthcare, the food, the culture and the lack of worker's rights.

I do business with the States and travel there, all over ,every couple of months. My reasons might be a little more subtle

1. the noise, yep, Americans are so loud it really irks me. They shout and it drives me mad.
2. the noise in cities ….when I get back to the uk it’s just so much more peaceful, slower, calmer (comparing London to say NY or LA)
3. everywhere is built around massive high ways which probably contributes to my point 2
4. again the car culture, very few sidewalks apart from the easy coast and no walking culture
5. public transport is non existence hence the car culture
6. expensive just for things like groceries
7. They can’t make a good cup of tea 😭
8. they sometimes don’t get our humour, I’ve spoken to clients who said they used to get really offended and upset by British humour (before they had it explained to them)
9. the pharmaceutical industry obsession
10. that you only get 1 week off work per year, very little maternity leave (usually with no pay)
11. you are beholden to your employee as they give you your health insurance
12. the celebrity culture and the attitude that money is king, which, if you live in America is something very important to have so I totally get this
13. no help for the vulnerable in society
14. education is expensive
15. there are areas mainly not on the east coast that are racially very segregated which shocked me

but Americans are lovely! They are kind and respectful and will talk and talk and treat you equally with little hierarchy.
they are funny and warm and welcoming.

I am Irish and have lived in america 20 years. Grew up in rural Ireland. Suicide was....and still is, a massive problem. I know dozens who killed themselves, not one of them shot themselves. Does it matter? They are still dead.

US 43163 Gun Homicides.
67% of those are suicide.

If they get rid of the guns...those people are still dead. And in Ireland, they are also dead. They just dont get counted in that bucket.

TBF most of the chocolate in the UK is pretty terrible also. The best chocolate in both America and the UK is imported from continental Europe.

Although IMO See’s Candies in America edges Thornton at that level.

At least @Summerperfume has an interesting list based in experience. Although I believe it’s two weeks plus legal holidays.

Thank you for the photo of what I also regard as a typical supermarket produce display in a good middle class area of America, @MissConductUS . It is much better than anything I’m getting at a supermarket in the UK now and sadly that includes Waitrose. I miss the sense of abundance.

(I have been told I need to try M&S food halls, however, and the greengrocer is good albeit expensive)

They don't have kettles to boil water (hence US tea is always crap).

The humidity (in the South). The rain (in the NW). The tornadoes (in the mid-West). The winters (in the North).

They cannot spell.

The scarily high price of fresh food.

@Euroamerican Suicide means and actuality though are both circumstantial - so, more vets and farmers in the UK use guns to commit suicide because they have guns more often than the rest of the population, and suicide rate is higher among those groups as well because they have quick access to the means. If suicide by hanging is known in a group (whether that's through social media or just good old fashioned rumour mill) that's how people will choose to commit suicide AND suicide becomes more common.
That's why the Samaritans etc. say that the media should never report in detail on the means/motivation of a suicide. This phenomenon has been known since about the 18th century.

Vets have guns here?

We are on holiday in California right now. I find Americans to be more polite. It's a joke that they say Brits are polite because we are not. We used to be but not anymore!

"Humane killers" yes.

The extra politeness is fake for a large part.

I spend a lot of time (months) in the US on business each year and don't find the average American to be any more or less polite than the average British person.

As an American, the main reason for my British family members is the same reason I didn't apply for my British children to be US citizens - US overreach, largely in the financial sector.

If you've seen forms with 'Are you a US person for tax purposes' or more recently added asking where you were born, some where your parents were born, this is part of it and while it's called a citizenship based tax system, it has been extended to those on or who have had long term US visas (which is why they ask US person not US citizen), which can cause complications if you choose to return. While the US struggles to enforce the laws for those of us living abroad (compliance rate is 2-5%), some banks and other financial institutions are skittish of the threats the US has made around working with those connected to the US. You'd probably be able to avoid it as they often try to suss this out with asking for birthplace, but it is an issue and some banks will refuse financial products like ISAs and such where the UK's tax laws can cause issues with the US. I can't even get my will updated without having to discuss my US tax status.

There is also the issue that any sons between 18-25 would be expected to register for Selective Service. This does apply to noncitizens living in the US.

if you work in any field that requires DBS, upon return you'll likely need a Certificate of Good Character from the US embassy to continue that work. If you were to work in that in the US, you'll likely need similar from the UK. Background checks in general are more complicated.

There can also be issues around pensions in multiple countries, particularly when the US is involved. That's something I would get professional advice on as it can get complicated.

I also don't rate US healthcare, especially if kids are involved. Unlike in the UK where any of my kids can get medical care on their own if they had an emergency and I'm not available, that's really difficult to do in the US. As a teenager I presented at the ER on my own and because I wasn't in immediate threat of death, I was put in a side room to wait for a parent which took hours as he wasn't in-state at the time. The idea it's 'very good' erases difficulties of access and what I guess we could call a zip code and medical professional lottery - there is an incentive to 'wait and see' that some professionals exploit and some areas just don't have the resources. It's taken a lot to fix the health issues from the poor US healthcare I grew up with, and I still find issues now and then.

I was able to manage fine in the US as a nondriver, but you do have to be far more selective in where you live compared to the UK to get by without access to a car.

Really, the guns and such is really at the bottom of my list. My family regularly left the doors unlocked (never gave us kids a key), never had an issue. I didn't see a gun in person until I was an adult and visiting London. Being in a Northeast coastal area, it probably won't be as much of an issue, though there will likely be some gun owners with some of the wildlife. Not dealing with bears and such is another plus of having left the States.

@RamblingEclectic - with one American parent your kids are probably automatically American citizens even if they weren’t born in the US - unless you moved to the UK as a child.

I have a dual national child - she has got both passports but even without those she automatically had citizenship from both parents. She can decide to renounce one at 18 if she wants to.

Bought a loaf of bread in San Francisco yesterday. $10! 😩

I would move to the US just to get away from the small minded British as evidenced by this thread.

Welcome to San Francisco!

but seriously, bread prices everywhere depend on what sort, the size, etc.... can't compare Wonder bread (supermarket extra spongy) with sourdough from Tartine!

If that's such a big deal to you that it would be reason not to move to a country, fair enough, but I've lived in the US for 30 years and not missed custard creams once.

You may have spent time in the US, but many of the things on your list are simply not true.

!) You're wrong. We do have kettles.

2. Yes, I agree with this. I live in the south and it's horribly humid at this time of year. Lovely in the winter though. But certainly. the weather in the UK is a lot more temperate.

3. Can you spell this? B U L L S H I T
   Of course we can spell. Some people here are better spellers than others, but that's true anywhere. You just have to read many of the posts on MN to see that there are a lot of Brits with horrendous spelling.

4. Groceries are more expensive in the US than in the UK. Conversely, eating out is usually less expensive, which is one reason that Americans tend to eat out or get takeout more often than Brits. Scarily high price though? That seems like an exaggeration.

American prices look insanely high when you’re earning British salaries. (This is both because of British wage stagnation and the weak pound.)

Conversely Americans visit the UK and think groceries are cheap. The UK is also known for a fiercely powerful supermarket sector that squeezes prices (sometimes to the detriment of producers).

Actually the pound has rallied a lot against the dollar over the last year or so (to my sadness, being paid in dollars).

@knitnerd90 - it tastes like a £1.90 Hovis!

It's gone up (it was as low as $1.20 late last year), but it's still under $1.30. I remember just before the 2008 financial crisis it was $2 to the £ and everyone flocked to New York to go shopping. $1.30 is still historically weak.

Inflation here has been rough since 2020 (you won't hear anyone in the US who's happy with prices), but the other factors make America seem exceptionally expensive to the British. But, if you think the USA is bad, go grocery shopping in Australia or Canada.

You got ripped off on that bread; I could buy amazing bakery bread for $10 if I didn't bake it myself!