Reasons you wouldn’t move to US

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Dh has been offered a job in the US. The increase in salary would put us into a completely different wealth bracket but I really don’t want to move.

• fear of home invasion with guns
• school shooting - guns in general I guess
• American exceptionalism attitude annoys me
• Being away from family
• Not having Europe on doorstep

Can I ask if you have any other reasons

Guns, healthcare, lack of job benefits and leave, and of course Trump supporters.

How much is the salary increase? The cost of living is significantly higher especially in the major cities. A few things cost less but most family things we found were double to triple, activities etc.

Jesus wept - if anything healthcare quality would be a reason to move here! Don't you read the news about the NHS - or any of the horror stories posted on here?

Your dog will not need hi viz in Westchester or Fairfield County! This is not hunting country.

Also I agree that health care varies and that this is quite wrong, but this should not be a practical concern for you. This applies equally to the comments about overmedicating.

We have had good care in England so far through a combination of NHS and private but it is a constant worry. Because we were in the lucky group - an inexcusable divide - healthcare was so much easier and better in America. You will be in that group too, OP. And if you choose an HMO rather than traditional insurance most of the paperwork nightmare goes away

Your child will do that now in the UK, I'd be very surprised if they don't.

incredibly difficult to open a bank account there, I have friends who moved for very high paying jobs and one who opened a bank account for investors to deposit money into, and they were all tearing their hair out.

banking system is very decentralised, sending or receiving payments can be a pain, some banks won't let you send outside of the country, plus fraud is very high.

kids have to do a bunch of subjects they probably don't like even at university.

if you/they become US citizens, they have to pay tax in the US for the rest of their lives even if they live and work in a different country.

have to drive literally everywhere.

Uni fees

Extreme weather in places/earthquake risk

Needing to drive everywhere

Supermarket food isn't a patch on uk/would be harder to eat healthily/food more expensive

Lack of very old buildings

House prices seem high

Some tech isn't as good eg home delivery/internet banking

Your rights as a trailing spouse. I'd never risk losing my DCs in these circs.

Poisonous politics, not being able to vote

Cars, cars, cars. In so much of the US it seems impossible to walk anywhere, and so you’re basically forced into a driving-heavy way of life.

Awful food; sugar in everything.

Guns
Trump
Healthcare
Death penalty
Abortion laws
And guns again.

I would never live there in a million years.

@candyisdandybutliquorisquicker

You have never lived in the USA then, fighting with your insurance company over everything, paying for every drs appointment, over treatment. I reckon I spent 1-2 hours per week chasing up drs, insurance, state insurance system etc whereas it just worked in the uk (dc with Sen)

I'd go for a year or two. It's always interesting to experience other cultures. But that would be tough if you have kids

I don't like:
Gun culture
Recent moves to remove women's right (abortion in particular)
Having to drive everywhere
Mainstream food

Against those points u would say you would have to be pretty unlucky to be caught up in a shooting, and high end food can be fantastic.

Guns are worse, quicker and can be operated from a distance. Health care being covered by employers isn't that simple. There are many loopholes where they don't pay the full cost, or deny responsibility based on x y, and z. I have relatives in the US, and some people literally wait until long after they should to go to hospital. They're literally paying it off for years, in heavy debt etc.

My friend, a US national, wealthy, paying taxes there as well as here, property over there, was going to move back after many years in the UK. Then her DH got cancer. They now have a real dilemma, as the treatment he has had here has been exemplary, and they won't get covered in the US for his illness.

I am not generally a catastrophiser but I think there is a non zero chance of violence if Trump doesn't win the upcoming presidential election, and a very high likelihood of some pretty unpleasant changes if he does. Some of those changes would be aimed at non-citizens, and sure it wouldn't be targeted at professional middle class people, but a hostile bureaucracy of that size is not going to be easy to deal with.

I might risk it if the money was really good, good enough that I could put some away for a rapid escape plan if things start to get difficult there. If nothing else, you'll need to get back to the UK pretty quick if the person whose employment provides your health insurance becomes seriously ill and loses their job as a result. It's all a bit precarious for my liking.

How is sending and receiving money a pain? I have US bank accounts. I transfer money in and out all the time; it works just the same as with my UK accounts.

As someone who lived there for 30years…

It’s full of Americans

The quality of food is appalling

Public transport is minimal to non-existent

Trump

Guns

Evangelical Christians

Reproductive rights, or the lack thereof

There’s a rather soulless quality because of the amount of commercialism

I’m sure I could go on.

Do you have kids? Would they be going to school there?

Trump, or even the possibility of Trump. What sort of idiots do they have voting for that?! And you won't get a say in it at all, or even local elections.

Healthcare shouldn't be a problem as if DH has been headhunted for the job part of the package will be extensive medical and dental cover.

Holidays would be a problem as 10 days is standard. Granted he might be given more, like maybe 15. But also potentially be told when to take them. So office might be closed for the week between Christmas and New Year so that's 5 of his days off. Don't know if that 10 days includes bank holidays or not, hopefully not but they don't get a lot of them and they are very much specific days which don't match up with UK BHs.

Would you be able to work? Could his package include getting you (& older children?) green cards too??

So are you prejudiced against Americans then?

Expat American here. I am trying to focus on your particular situation. You will be a SAHM with two primary age children. Your DH will be immersed in a big important job. You will either live in upper middle class suburbs or high end NYC borough, eg, Williamsburg. Unless you are very extrovert and adventurous, this will be challenging. The POV of the American haute bourgeoisie has no real UK equivalent. There is a lot of obsession with getting children in right schools, clubs, super focus on children’s sports, etc, that may not be something that you have encountered before. I would personally be more comfortable with bohemian/alternate lifestyle types, but these aren’t so common in high end suburbs.
Americans are v friendly & hospitable, will want to talk to you & ask you lots of questions, many of which you may find naive. While seemingly friendly, it can be difficult to make true friends. When I first came to the UK while I found Brits reserved, actual friendships were more genuine. So your challenge will be to insure you don’t feel too isolated -a common problem in suburbia. If you do go, seek out British ex-pat groups, who could ease the transition.
Also, I hope you drive!

I live in NJ and commute into NYC daily plus I have a house in upstate NY. I'm wfh today although I have Monday off (part of the 27 days vacation I get each year along with 10 bank holidays and the freedom to wfh one day a week). If I open my office window I can hear someone cutting the hedges at the front of my next door neighbours garden and from my window I can see at least 20 trees fully green and looking gorgeous. This morning as I took the bins out, I said hi to another neighbor who was walking his dog. He's a state trooper and his wife is the US equivalent of a primary school teacher. At some point today I have to walk around the corner to the store to get milk and pick up a prescription. All this is just to say that bits of the US are very similar to the UK in lots of ways. But equally if the idea of it being too different is what puts you off, I would think carefully. Moving is a massive thing to do and will suck initially so you have to really want it to make it work.

i think you adjust to most things, it’s the family friends thing for me- I mean close close family and the cost it would be of seeing them potentially only once a year, after that food, wages/ inequality (have no idea about taxes), guns, weather (while we give out about Irish weather, the storms in the US, watching tv for hurricane reports etc is properly scary!)

I’d be off in a heartbeat.

Are you in the USA? Schools in the UK do not practise lockdown/shooter drills because they are not necessary. We have only ever had one school shooting in the UK, which was in Dunblane in 1996, and that was one too many. Even stricter gun laws were brought in as a response to this and other safety precautions, too. The photograph of the teacher with her class of six-year-olds who died that day still has the power to upset us. I hope it always will. Those children would be in their thirties now if this had not happened and many of them could well have had children of their own.