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Reasons you wouldn’t move to US

1000 replies

Preiu · 10/07/2024 14:08

Dh has been offered a job in the US. The increase in salary would put us into a completely different wealth bracket but I really don’t want to move.

  • fear of home invasion with guns
  • school shooting - guns in general I guess
  • American exceptionalism attitude annoys me
  • Being away from family
  • Not having Europe on doorstep

Can I ask if you have any other reasons

OP posts:
Thread gallery
36
feelingbattered · 20/07/2024 21:21

Trump

IJustFarted · 20/07/2024 21:45

Poiboi · 20/07/2024 21:12

Expanded self-defense laws are being used to justify killings of roommates, people who are unhoused, and in road rage incidents and child custody disputes.

Stand your ground laws are being successfully invoked in cases in which the shooter was the aggressor and in situations that could’ve been de-escalated.

Researchers at the University of Oxford and University of Pennsylvania suggests that stand your ground laws have made many parts of the U.S. more deadly. The researchers found that stand your ground was associated with up to an 11% national increase in monthly homicide rates – at least 700 additional homicides every year.

Source: pew research centre

You make a good point. But I feel that in the UK we have the opposite where people are arrested for engaging in self defense.

GreenTeaLikesMe · 21/07/2024 01:34

britinnyc · 20/07/2024 18:09

Why is driving everywhere always posted as a negative? The U.S. is huge, it just isn’t practical to use public transport to get everywhere. But Mumsnet acts as if people in the UK never drove and walk or take the bus/train to do everything which has as many negatives as driving (setting aside the argument about cars/pollutikn/electric cars not being any better thanks to mineral mining for batteries. I am in a walkable place in the US and I do walk a lot of places. But I also drive to the supermarket etc. because who wants to carry all that stuff home (I did that living in NYC and it is terrible). A driving commute is also a lot more pleasant than a crowded train , again btdt for a long time abs quite happy to never do it again. A combo of being able to walk and drive is ideal to me and that does exist in a lot of places in the U.S. No one is trying to be defensive here btw, people are just trying to correct the generalizations and blanket untrue statements that people want to post .We aren’t all sitting here thinking the US is the greatest and politics and Trump are horrifying to many of us but at the same time the misconceptions about life in the U.S. are quite amusing. In a lot of places life really isn’t very different!

I think the big negative for me about the US is that it’s hard to find walkable area that are good for living in with a family (functional, properly run, safe, good schools, affordable). I know people who live in downtown urban areas which do have things within walking distance and some public transit, but these areas are not very safe and the schools are often pretty awful. Places like SF are very overpriced too. If I had to live in the US, I think I would probably end up living in a suburban area to escape bad schools and social problems, and my experience of US suburbs is that you drive everywhere.

Of course, it depends what people like. If people are happy with a suburban lifestyle, they will probably love a US suburb - they are safe and very spacious with big houses and cars and yards.

One more point: the “have to drive everywhere” thing is nothing to do with the size of the US. The US had walkable cities with trains and trams before cars became widespread. A decision was made in most US cities from the 1920s onwards to knock down much of the old cityscapes and replace it with car-centric infrastructure, resulting in huge car-centered cities.

To be fair, at least the US approach makes sense. The UK approach has basically been “We don’t want to knock down any old buildings to put in huge car parks or tear up neighborhoods for expressways, and we want to keep our cities small via green belt laws…..but we also want to drive everywhere and we don’t want to restrict cars or invest in public transport.” So the UK has ended up with way too many cars and car journeys crammed into a road/parking network that is not even remotely adequate, resulting in cities where neither cars nor public transport works properly.

knitnerd90 · 21/07/2024 02:54

Yes, in many cities there were a multiplicity of policy decisions made to reduce walkability and increase car dependence. The exceptions tend to be places that were already sufficiently densely built. I read something about how Anglophone cities in general have related planning issues that prioritise existing residents and single family housing.

There are walkable lovely suburbs outside older cities. They're also expensive because those are the same cities that have massive demands for housing anyway.

Distance and size are a major factor in intercity transport and the national railway network. One of the major obstacles is that freight companies own the vast majority of track and so freight is prioritised. The reason the Northeast Corridor has half decent service is that Amtrak actually controls the track. (This is also why the NYC area has good commuter rail.)

LittleMissBeamer · 21/07/2024 03:18

This thread is rather interesting. As someone who was born and bred in the UK I too had some of these worries before I moved to the US. Now I have lived in the US a while I realise how ignorant I was. The US is massive!!!! You can’t tar the whole place with the same brush. Yes there are bad parts, but there are also some truly beautiful and safe places. I read one post about someone not sending their child to school in case they got shot. You can’t live in fear like that. That’s like not going to London in case you get stabbed. I would never live in the UK again. You struggle to get a doctors/ dentist appointment, and lots of people seem really miserable and angry in England. I don’t get people flicking me off in the car constantly or swearing at me. People have lovely manners in the US and seem so much happier. We all have space and don’t live on top of our neighbours. Yes, there is junk food but no one forces you to eat it. We bake and choose foods carefully. The UK supermarkets are literally full of chocolate, crisps, biscuits, bread, cakes, puddings, pastries and so on. Do people forget that’s junk food too? Petrol is cheaper in the US and you don’t have to sit in traffic constantly. This is only my point of view from where I live. If you’re going to live in New York or some crappy part of California of course it’ll be rough and busy and awful! I’m sure people living in that part of Leeds that was rioting wondered what they were doing living there. There are good and bad parts of every country. You can’t really pass judgement on somewhere if you have never been or you have literally gone to one tourist destination for 2 weeks and ate crap the whole time!

PoopedAndScooped · 21/07/2024 03:25
  • Guns
  • Health care -
  • (Unless i could get top notch health insurance)
  • Lack of Women’s rights
  • The ‘Government’
  • The weather (Not keen on the heat)
  • The ‘justice’ system
knitnerd90 · 21/07/2024 03:31

"The weather" is meaningless though. The US has every climate you can imagine.

PoopedAndScooped · 21/07/2024 03:50

knitnerd90 · 21/07/2024 03:31

"The weather" is meaningless though. The US has every climate you can imagine.

Yes - Thats why i stated i dont like the heat

NeverDropYourMooncup · 21/07/2024 08:03

knitnerd90 · 21/07/2024 03:31

"The weather" is meaningless though. The US has every climate you can imagine.

Thats why I said the heat, the cold & the weather - I don't want 45 Celsius or -15 Celsius as possibilities. Or tornadoes, hurricanes, blizzards or cricket ball sized lumps of hail.

LlynTegid · 21/07/2024 08:18

Lack of gun control would be number 1, second would be the likelihood that I would need to have a car.

RoseUnder · 21/07/2024 08:26

That a whopping half of the American population find it acceptable to live with gun deaths including shootings of children even in their schools, and continue to vote for a political party that is guaranteed to either continue this status quo, or increase the number of guns.

billysboy · 21/07/2024 08:29

I have travelled to the US a fair bit and love the country and the people I have met , however the people I see on the TV are fanatical nuts

Elsvieta · 21/07/2024 17:05

Your kids will grow up American. Maybe go to college, maybe marry Americans. You'll decide to go home when they're adults, and they will stay. Or you will stay and they'll go back to the UK. Or one kid will do one and one the other. One way or another you may end up seeing very little of one of your kids. Or all of them.

The unhealthy lifestyle. Prepare for fat children who eat a lot of junk food and think being asked to walk anywhere is a human rights violation.

The healthcare issue, obviously. Make sure DH's job has REALLY good insurance for the whole family.

Impact on your career. Do you plan to work in the US? Are their opportunities in your field, and if so do your qualifications / experience count for anything there? Will you even be allowed to work under the immigration rules?

poetryandwine · 21/07/2024 22:54

saltinesandcoffeecups · 20/07/2024 19:03

@Aquamarine1029

Yes the US is just hideous. No green anywhere just concrete and billboards as far as the eye can see!

I picked a city that’s been in the news this week for the pictures

And if people were only looking at photos of the most built up parts of London, Birmingham and Manchester, what would they conclude about the UK?

You are making the same mistake

saltinesandcoffeecups · 22/07/2024 00:22

poetryandwine · 21/07/2024 22:54

And if people were only looking at photos of the most built up parts of London, Birmingham and Manchester, what would they conclude about the UK?

You are making the same mistake

I was quoting @Aquamarine1029 who made the ugly comment. 🙂

ForGreyKoala · 22/07/2024 00:44

DdraigGoch · 20/07/2024 12:58

In the UK, complaining is an accepted national pastime. In some other countries (including the US), complaining is considered "unpatriotic" by some and is often met with "if you don't like it then leave".

If I had a dollar for every time I have read "if you don't like it then leave" written on MN by a UK poster then I would be setting off on a world cruise!

SnowFrogJelly · 22/07/2024 00:57

Trump

samedifferent · 22/07/2024 01:25

The unhealthy lifestyle. Prepare for fat children who eat a lot of junk food and think being asked to walk anywhere is a human rights violation.

I'm really sorry if this is your experience of raising dc in the USA.
My dc are slim and active. They use public transport and walk a fair bit. Their friends are even more physically active than my UK origin pair. Sport is big in school and after school sports right through senior school.
The current foods of choice are ramen, sushi and bubble tea.

I'm sure fat dc who love junk food exist but having dc and working with them as well they aren't the norm in the city I live in.

BlueskysandWind · 22/07/2024 01:27

If you have junk food eating fat children you might want to reconsider your parenting strategies regardless of where you live.

knitnerd90 · 22/07/2024 01:28

Obesity in both the US and UK is heavily linked to race, class, and other social determinants of health. I think the "ew, fat children" is really unnecessary and the UK is in no place to criticise.

MrsCatE · 22/07/2024 01:57

I would trial it. I assume employers are offering family medical insurance however, I would explore what help they would offer re finding suitable housing, schools, paid flights back etc. You are making some sweeping assumptions re crime given the state of the UK (Leeds, crossbows etc) at the moment. I have friends who are still bitter because their parents didn't take up opportunities offered on golden platters.
Whatever you decide, don't suggest he goes out and tests the waters without you.

BallooningInTheSky · 22/07/2024 05:55

LifeExperience · 10/07/2024 15:04

As for healthcare, my dh was in the hospital here in Florida over the weekend. Our experience which is typical: I drove him to the ER (A&E). We arrived at about 9:40 pm. He was checked in immediately and triaged. A few minutes later we were taken to a private room. Dh was made comfortable, his nurse came in to introduce herself, blood was taken, IV set up, etc. then a bit later the ER doc came in, discussed the issue and told us what tests/meds he'd ordered. Dh was taken right away to get a CT, then after he was returned to the room a portable X-ray machine arrived. As soon as results came back less than 30 min. later, ER doc returned to tell us about the treatment plan and that dh needed to be admitted. About 15 minutes later the admitting doc arrived, discussed the issue and treatment and we were moved to a regular private room, which looked like a nice hotel room. It had an ensuite bath with shower, a couch that pulled out into a bed for me, as well as an easy chair for me and a desk and desk chair. It had blankets, extra towels, pillows, etc. and even a card from housekeeping if we needed anything else.

The next morning Dh and I ordered room service breakfast. Mine cost a whopping $5 because I wasn't a patient. His was free. The food was good. Over the course of the day more tests were run. At shift change dh's new nurse and doc came to greet him and discuss what was going to happen next. Over the course of the day he improved, we ate more room service meals, and he was released later that evening. He is fine BTW, it was an infection which they cleared up.

Best of all, Medicare (Gov health care for elderly) will pay 80% of the bill and his Medicare supplement (an insurance plan we pay low monthly premiums for) will pay the rest.

Healthcare is expensive in the US, but that is because it is very, very good and worth every penny.

Sounds amazing. I work in the NHS and truly fear for healthcare here. I am scared we will have lots of avoidable deaths over the next decade due to waiting lists and insufficient staff.

There is lots that’s not going well here.

I would love to live in NY for a couple of years. Not being white makes me a bit nervous but I reckon NY would be fine. I live in London but think NY would suit me too!

BallooningInTheSky · 22/07/2024 06:00

I am surprised at the negativity. My preconceptions of American life are that people are really friendly and that supermarkets have lots of choice. Quite surprised to see the other opinions. I speak from a position of ignorance as I have not visited since I was a child.

BallooningInTheSky · 22/07/2024 06:09

SummerDays2020 · 10/07/2024 15:52

A bit too fabulous - medication and treatments 'advised' when completely unnecessary.

This is true. My colleague worked as a psychiatrist there and left because he couldn’t believe how people were being prescribed so many psychotropic meds. They could essentially ask for what they wanted and get it. Even if drinking heavily at the same time etc.

Here in London, when I see American students, I am shocked at 19y olds on a cocktail of three/four antidepressants and mood stabilisers etc when they would only need one at most.

I often say that one of the few things we get right here is caution around overprescribing and tightly regulated prescribing.

BallooningInTheSky · 22/07/2024 06:21

DifferentLandscape · 10/07/2024 16:58

So many stereotypes and sweeping statements! The USA is HUGE, generalising what it's like to live there is like doing the same for all of Europe- the experience of living in Ireland is totally different to Slovenia (countries picked at random). The culture of states varies hugely. CT & NY are generally liberal, progressive places. And only 5hr flight back to blighty

Quite. I get annoyed when people talk about London and Londoners as homogenous units. There are over 9 million people in London and so many different areas.

So, stereotyping about massive ‘America’ is just crazy. There are so many states, areas within states, communities, landscapes, weather, food choices, religious attitudes. It can’t be diluted into trite stereotypes, surely. I have not visited as an adult but the generalisations here are making me wince a little.

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