Reasons you wouldn’t move to US

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Dh has been offered a job in the US. The increase in salary would put us into a completely different wealth bracket but I really don’t want to move.

• fear of home invasion with guns
• school shooting - guns in general I guess
• American exceptionalism attitude annoys me
• Being away from family
• Not having Europe on doorstep

Can I ask if you have any other reasons

Do you have children? It makes a big difference.

In CT you probably don't have to worry about home invasions unless you're in downtown Hartford or something. NY state prob fine too, I'm guessing you'll be in a nice commuter area.

Some big reasons mentioned here but little reasons I don't like the US are early dinner times and lots of unisex toilets.

Yes sadly very true - when the US sneezes we all catch a cold.

I’ve been to NYC, Miami, San Francisco and LA. I’ve enjoyed visiting but can’t say I’ve been anywhere I’ve wanted to live. Never been to a proper suburb.

In SF I knew to expect mass homelessness but it was truly shocking to witness. And I think it’s got much worse in the past few years.

Oh and police are so aggressive. I was unknowingly walking the wrong way in NYC (there was a parade on and the pavements were being closed off) and I was physically yanked back by the arm by a policeman.

Lack of gun license control.

Expensive health care - we are extremely fortunate to have the NHS.

Leaving family behind.

You couldn't pay me to move to America.

Guns
Women's rights
Opoid crisis
Their health care system
Prescription drug abuse- they all seem to be on all kinds all the time?!?!
How they treat their weaker members of society sickens me
The slum areas / huge homeless camps that have sprung up even with children living in them.
Also unless you buy everything from a health food shop the foods full of stuff that's banned everywhere else in the world
Just everything really

Three kids. 4-9

I love the US, I enjoy visiting and travelling there but I would not live there if you paid me.

Guns - no way would I send my children to school somewhere with such a risk of shootings.
Women's rights/abortion
Healthcare
Extremism
Poor employment law, sickness pay and Annual leave

Wyoming is stunning, one of the most beautiful places I've seen in my life. Very right wing though, good luck 😬

The risk of your kids getting shot is really really small.

My main concerns are about things like, how long will you be there? What about your own job prospects? What if you split? What if you end up living there for years and the kids start to feel very American and want to be out there long term (not the end of the world, but something that could concern some people)?

It’s a low trust society and the sense of humor is very different. The material standard of living, however, is massively higher than it is in the UK.

There isn't as much of a support if you lose your job etc. I don't think the benefit system is as generous there.

I don’t think it’s the USA that you need to worry about; it’s your own inability to educate yourself that’s going to get in your way.

You don’t need a single reason not to live here beyond “I don’t want to”. Why are you compiling a list?

There are over 350,000,000 people in this country, which is bigger than Europe (by some measures). Many different cultures, language, climates, lifestyles, ethnicities, foods, geographies etc.

Admitting that “guns” and “home invasions” is putting you off is like saying “county lines stabbings” would put you off ever moving to the UK because you have a teenaged son. I can’t believe you’d be able to navigate this country’s media without fainting each morning, if you haven’t figured out the UK’s media yet.

I am British and moved to the east coast over 15 years ago. I was very reluctant to leave my family and I still hate that I’m so far away. I never wanted to move here. I couldn’t care less whether you move or don’t, but your questions and answers are really ridiculous. If you’re at all serious about this move (which it doesn’t sound as if you are), read and travel here and educate yourself. Don’t be so lame.

Dh is a pilot so speculatively applies to airlines all the time when a position comes available.

Me and our DD came back from New York yesterday.
The cost of everything would put me right off.
I am fully aware that being in a tourstcentric city will mean things cost more, but blimey

There are many threads on MN about moving to the US listing pros and cons. I suggest you seek them out and read the comments from people who have actually lived there as opposed to those who have only been on holiday or even worse base everything off the news and movies. We lived in Texas for years. It was great. Best place we ever
lived. Kids are in the British school. Medical insurance was provided for as part of dh deal and quality was excellent. Never saw a gun other than the ones the cops had, and a saw lots of them because they actually turn up to direct traffic if the lights are out or someone has a minor accident becuase they are well funded - unlike the uk. i would suggest you stop lookibg for reasons not to go and look at it as a chance of a lifetime. Your dh will likely resent you forever if you hold him back.

I've been to a few places in the US and absolutely fell in love with San Francisco - to the point I spent weeks after doing fantasy research about how I could move there.

In reality, I couldn't live in America and deal with the health system, job insecurity and absolutely shit employment rights. I don't think their social support programmes are too strong either.

I'm a city person and their eating out culture bothers, me too. Not that I wouldn't love to be able to jump from cafe to bar to restaurant but it's so expensive and buying your own food isn't too cheap either.

Way too much believing in the media here. Also no small amount of xenophobia. Yes there are guns. I own several and I live in a state with open carry, but I have never seen a gun anywhere but the range or carried by law enforcement. Never. Not once. The fear is very much overblown. Americans have had guns since colonial times, but schools shooting have only been an issue for the last 30 years or so, when we stopped institutionalizing the mentally ill, and started allowing mass importation of criminal gangs over our southern border. Outside of the inner cities where the gangs do their business, you are vanishingly unlikely to encounter a firearm.

As for the rest--stupid, stupid comments like not liking fat people, there being no place to buy vegetables ( only every grocery store in the country has them) I'm not going to bother to address because that's sheer ignorance and anti-American bigotry, which should be beneath MN.

I stayed with a friend in Montana last year and visited Yellowstone. I find the US very beautiful and I would move there. A lot of how we perceive Americans is just cultural difference. The people I met were very friendly. It was interesting learning more about day to day life from people who live there. In a lot of ways there is a lot more freedom and individual responsibility to here and their attitudes reflect that. I was there for independence day last year and I did envy them for how they really believe in their country whereas here it is constant moaning about the UK. I did notice that food is pretty expensive now out there. It is very car friendly. Free to park anywhere we went and nice big spaces. There are easy to pull in places all over and plenty of public toilets.

Sorry I can’t work out how to message you as I usually just read the odd post on here. I have personal experience of this with school aged kids and working in an American school, although a different state. Feel free to message me if you would like to talk more.

Also what if you or , if you have them, daughters have an unwanted pregnancy? You need to make sure the state allows abortions.

Would it be a permanent or temporary move?

If it was me I would absolutely jump at the chance to move to Conneticut or NY in the short-term (not long term as would miss family out here). Perhaps because we've spent short periods living abroad and I've always found it fascinating learning about other cultures. I also come from a family that has travelled/migrated a lot so don't feel particularly tied to the UK even though I've only got a British passport!

I've travelled to that part of the US and personally I think you'd be surprised by what a great quality of life you would have out there (unless you're poor, which you don't imply), but you clearly have a lot of preconceptions and negative feelings about the US so you might not settle so well - if that's the case can you just be honest with your husband?

My main concern would be access to healthcare as I have pre-existing conditions so would need to check these are covered, but I assume you would get insurance via your husband's employer anyway, and at the moment UK healthcare is nothing to write home about...

Car culture would annoy me a lot. NYC is great though!

Love living here (UK)
Family and friends
Sense of humour here
Proximity to rest of Europe
Ease of walking here (footpaths etc...)
Healthcare
Guns
Standard of produce
Workers rights (maternity pay, sick pay)
Abortion rights
Lack of unions
Polarised country

And to add - you won’t be there forever, pretty sure Europe will be waiting for you when you get back. This is your opportunity to explore Canada, the Caribbean, Mexico and not to mention the entire US. It’s worth it for that opportunity alone.

Completely agree - imagine how irate people would be if this was a thread all about how awful the UK/British people are (I am British but can think of many reasons!)