Reasons you wouldn’t move to US

[Preiu]

Dh has been offered a job in the US. The increase in salary would put us into a completely different wealth bracket but I really don’t want to move.

• fear of home invasion with guns
• school shooting - guns in general I guess
• American exceptionalism attitude annoys me
• Being away from family
• Not having Europe on doorstep

Can I ask if you have any other reasons

Yes if you read post she lists ‘accidents’ as the leading cause. Very duplicitous. And again downplaying how bad this is.

Firearms are the leading cause of death in the US for children. For that reason mainly I’ll pass on living there.

Imagine criticising the anti-gun lobby?! Who else is fighting for change? Not the people that turn the other way and claim there’s nothing to see.

Cross-bows are fortunately not the leading cause of deaths in children in the UK. Great argument!

What would hisnprovisuons be for annual leave etc? And work culture is different there, you are expected to live for the company or you aren't a team player.

Again - it’s so weird people keep saying this - you don’t have to buy and eat cheese in a can or the very very cheap meat options.

There are just as many good quality food options. If you are here as a local and not a tourist you can easily find all the better options by picking the right supermarket, making good choices around which brands you buy, choosing local farmers markets etc.

And it’s vastly different from state to state. And from county to county within some of the bigger states.

And the restaurants are amazing - particularly the range of cuisines - Thai, Mexican, Ethiopian, Lebanese etc etc

I’m in an average sized town and we have as good a variety of these restaurants as I had when I lived in London.

Yes - the American mass agricultural system is horrible and needs changing. And it would be better to have a stricter national food agency.

But just because some food and products are like that doesn’t mean that there isn’t a huge range of wonderful alternatives.

Lack of employment rights, you can be pretty much sacked on the spot with no recourse (worse for expats as I am guessing your visa runs out and you have to leave?) Short holiday allowances, pitiful maternity leave, women’s rights being dialled back to zero bodily autonomy (can’t even use a period tracker on your phone or it could be “evidence” of a somehow deliberate miscarriage), infiltration of weird men’s/trans right activists in schools and women’s spaces, guns on the streets and shooting risk in schools/workplaces, certain states are really being affected by global warming so the weather is dangerous, volatile political situation coming up as well.

Basically, no, not a chance.

I find this kind of hilarious… especially given how ugly many cities in the UK are. Sure there are ut parts of the US. But I’m sitting in my WFH office staying out at 12,000 foot mountains and the ocean. And I live in the middle of a major city in the US.

We moved back for quality of life and it is 100% higher for us here. We actually don’t drive much, we have e-bikes and bike most places, kiddo loves riding on the back. We have access way more easily to actual mountains and ocean that we could have in the UK. Home invasion is a scary idea but vanishingly rare. I’m with you on guns, I hate how common they are, but equally, I don’t know anyone who has a gun so kind of depends on your social circle/area of the country. School shootings are also a scary idea but extremely uncommon.

Healthcare is expensive but if your DH is employed in a good job, he will have excellent coverage and you won’t pay much out of pocket. The care and overall experience you’ll get will be in a different world to the NHS.

We moved to the US 6 months ago & we love it. Granted, we are only going to be here for 2 years so it's not permanent.

It's a great experience, so far. The education system is rubbish, other than that, we are enjoying every second.

Give it a go. It's not as bad as you think or see on the TV

I wonder if the billboard / retail park image is from people who have only flown into big city airports for a Disney vacation and are thinking of the journey to and from the airport.

There are no billboards at all in the town and surrounding area near me.

It would depend where you move to and what your family situation is like. Do you have DC? How old are they?

I'd worry about things like whether you could work on your DH's visa, healthcare costs, schooling for DC, having to drive everywhere.

Education system being rubbish depends which school district, there are many suburbs and cities with good school districts and frankly I don't think British kids are any better off or more accomplished when you compare end to end meaning from pre school through to University.

I have worked with US and UK grads and interns and I haven't seen any scenario where kids who go through the UK system are somehow better or more accomplished, infact I will say the US grads tend to be more confident.

This is all

@Cupcakeynoodles
6’5 Finance trust fund blue eyes. 😂

Many companies in the US offer good vacation time and since her husband is moving from the UK he can negotiate and lock it down. I get 28 days excluding the 11 bank holiday, my spouse gets 15 days but their company shuts down for a week in summer and a week in winter so that's additional 10 days and there's flexibility to work around those dates.

Yes the new company will pay medical insurance for the family, the way it works is the companies offer a number of insurance packages with premiums for individuals and families and you pick the one you want. They tend to offer low premium high deductible packages, mid and high premium low deductible packages etc. it's not really the company offering you a specific insurance just for you, they will already have their packages which reset each year on offer. There are things like HSA accounts that can be used to reduce the cost of healthcare using pre tax income etc. in summary there's a lot more to it than the back and white views on mumsnet.

Employment opportunities depend on the visa OPs husband is using it it's a transfer using a L1b yes she will be able to work, if it's a new employer then it may be H1b which has limited work options for the spouse and there are other visa options that will allow her work. But yes good point she needs to confirm this.

Child custody issue comes in if she and her husband separate and he wants to stay there and she wants to return to the UK yes that's a risk. Hopefully their marriage is strong and they don't have to deal with this.

Women's rights, Connecticut and NY the states she is considered are both liberal states

Yes, we all share that one so there will never be a shortage.

There are roughly 300,000 crossbows in the UK. Nobody knows how many there are in the US but 18.2 million people participate in bow hunting in the US each year so I assume several of them use crossbows and they don't all share the same one.

Feels like the US is at a real tipping point. Have been reading about the Heritage Foundation and Project 25 and it's fucking chilling stuff.

Having said that I might still go for an adventure, if it was to a state that seemed appealing and DH would have enough annual leave to make exploring the states possible.

You seem pretty set against it though, which is fair enough. It's a lot of upheaval if you're going to spend your days living in the 'burbs.

Exactly @Delatron , deliberate or accidental, firearms are the leading cause of death in under 18s . Shameful.

We also had a choice and decided not to move because where we were moving to is so dull compared to where we lived at that time. Having said that, not all places are equal. I have families living in 2 different states and they all live in nice, leafy neighbourhoods and are happy. I also have some friends from US who live in Europe and won't go back.
I do find strip malls ugly and downstown areas differs depending on the size of the city. We eat out a lot and I did not like food even in the restaurants supposed to be good. But the income levels are higher and you end up saving more. So maybe you can stay for a while and return in a few years? Culturally, there is more keeping up with Jones there than other places, you socialise with neighbours and supposed to get into American sports because thats what they, in my experience, mainly talk about, a lot of time wasting small talk is expected every where including grocery tills.

National Parks are beautiful but there is something about Europe, you cannot get in the US. You cannot beat American consumerism and all the wealth it creates for the economy. Work life balance in the US is changing, they start early and finish work early.
If you want more information, you can DM me, some details might be outing.

How old are your kids?

The heat
The cold
The weather
The need for a car to function at all
The medical expenses
The poisonous, bitey things

and they wouldn't want me, anyway.

Guns
Healthcare - particularly access to abortion
Opiate access
Worse rights at work
Poor maternity rights (I have a teenage daughter)
Trump
Food cost and food quality

Guns
MAGA
healthcare
Trump

That is true - there is always a tendency to over medicate but you can say no.

if I think of my birth and postpartum care (no existant) on the NHS compared to my SIL it is night and day. Also SIL is now being treated for pre cancerous cells that would not have shown up apart from a full and comprehensive yearly medical.

btw I’m not advocating for living in the US… mainly for the guns!

Some of America is beautiful.

But are you sure a "life changing" salary is really that good after: taxes, healthcare, property taxes (in a nice area $10,000 a year is not exceptional), the cost of higher education.

When I lived there about 30 years ago the cost of living was lower than the UK, but from all I've heard it is now higher, especially for similar quality.

And the additives they allow are so worrying that my kids (at 12, 10 and 6) wouldn't eat even free chocolate they were given.

A big thing for me is the throw away culture.
They don’t recycle.
Im there at the moment (holiday) plastic everything everywhere that just gets thrown away.
I can only imagine what their land falls look like.

It’s too hot to walk anywhere, even the shortest distance, they drive.

As an atheist, the pervasiveness of religion in everyday life was hugely offputting. The assumption you belonged to a church. Probably not an issue nationwide, I grant you.

America's don't recycle, that's a new one.

Just throwing a opposite view into the mix, I have lived in the US for 10 years now. I have 2 DD's 5 and 2.

Healthcare: Both kids were born here, we have health insurance through DH's employer, insurance covered all but $2k of each birth.

Guns: Not a issue, the only guns I see are our own, never seen one in public, have not had any gun crime in our area.

Crime: Non existent, I don't feel the need to ever lock the car or house.

Education: Schools are town based and very good, DD gets the school bus to and from the end of our driveway. Lesson quality is very good.

The biggest thing is we have space, and can afford a lifestyle that would be impossible in the UK.

We would never move back to the UK