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Reasons you wouldn’t move to US

1000 replies

Preiu · 10/07/2024 14:08

Dh has been offered a job in the US. The increase in salary would put us into a completely different wealth bracket but I really don’t want to move.

  • fear of home invasion with guns
  • school shooting - guns in general I guess
  • American exceptionalism attitude annoys me
  • Being away from family
  • Not having Europe on doorstep

Can I ask if you have any other reasons

OP posts:
Thread gallery
36
PerkyMintDeer · 10/07/2024 19:10

I had the opportunity to move there and have spent a lot of my life between both the US and UK, since childhood.

I wouldn't move there now despite it having been a something I was working towards for most of my life. My own reasons.

Guns. I've been there at points of tension and every trip to the supermarket/mall/busy place felt like a potential mass shooting event. I was in Orlando when people were murdered in a gay club, because they were gay or allies. The church I attended had armed security guards at the door. A friend of a friend was shot dead at point blank range coming out of a local bar because he was Muslim. I was in a mall with my extended family, with us all scattered in different shops/food court when someone let off loud poppers/chinese fire crackers as a joke. It of course sounded like automatic machine gunfire and was the same month as the attack on a Country Music Festival in Las Vegas. Everyone started screaming and running, some of the shops started bringing the shutters down to go into lockdown mode with customers inside, people were getting separated from their kids...it was chaos...people got injured in the stampede...an old person had a heart attack...You just couldn't go about your life in a relaxed way.

I wanted kids. I'd have to send those kids to school everyday wondering if they'd be shot at school. At the very best, they'd have to take part in active shooter drills from 6 years old, which were portrayed as real and left many kids traumatised.

Healthcare...too many known cases of insurance not paying out for cancer/lifethreatening illness, seeing friends being diagnosed with conditions they didn't have by quacks who wanted big payouts, extortionate price of medications for the elderly or chronically ill...seeing young (usually Black or LatinX) victims of shootings/RTA's/sudden life threatening emergencies turned away at ER when they couldn't provide insurance details. The cost of a natural birth was £15k at my local hospital. Any intervention/C-Section/NICU stay could easily run into hundreds of thousands of dollars. Corrupt big Pharma...constant bizarre adverts selling drugs while watching TV.

Fake news. Lack of critical thinking skills amongst a huge proportion of the population and lack of awareness of life outside the USA (or often one's own State, especially in the South/Mid West). So many people honestly thought all of the United Kingdom was exactly like Epcot. Or that we are all getting stabbed by jihadis in the street and that there was Sharia Law in London now. Seriously.

Trump.

Biden.

The Supreme Court.

How easy it is to lose everything...house foreclosures, health insurance attached to jobs, lack of a safety net for those who fall on hard time.

I found the constant displays of Nationalism/Patriotism uncomfortable. America is obsessed with itself and it's Veterans. A day out at a theme park, or a trip to a show might lead to being forced to salute the flag, stand for the flag/national anthem, applaud the veterans who were encouraged to stand. From school, children are forced to pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States.

Food prices are insane. Quality of food is poor. At worse scary with hormones and antibiotics and god knows what pumped into poultry, meat etc. Ultra, ultra, ultra processed foods and hard to escape.

Better holiday pay, maternity leave and employee rights in the UK.

I've been there during multiple natural disasters. Katrina etc. The response is terrifyingly lacking. Apocalyptic scenes on the roads or at airports. Water running out. Shop shelves empty. Genuine fear you and your family might not survive. Never seems to improve even through hurricane/twister/wildfires seasons happen every year.

Not being white and having to deal with cops. I can't even. The fear of seeing your elderly, sick, black dad dragged away by armed cops at the airport for no reason other than him being the only black male on the plane...him being detained for hours, his insulin and vital meds taken from him and begging for his release. Almost every time he flew into the States.

I could go on and on. For a long time I would have said, I'll just enjoy my holidays there but I can't even say that much anymore. Trips to the US aren't fun for me anymore. In the past 10 years it's become somewhere I've felt increasingly on edge and felt relieved to get out of.

AcrossTheOceanMissingHome · 10/07/2024 19:23

CheeseSandwichRiskAssessment · 10/07/2024 19:04

America's don't recycle, that's a new one.

I know right? 🤣

Born in US, have lived in 8 states, visited a lot more and can confirm that people recycle.

I wonder how many people writing some of this stuff have even visited the US for longer than a couple of weeks, never mind actually lived there.

It's a funny thread to read.

IJustFarted · 10/07/2024 19:24

Pandadunks · 10/07/2024 16:28

Brilliant. A fantastic example of the gun issue. The people who really want a gun, especially the big guns, are the very people who shouldn’t be let near a fire arm.

If I were to move to the US and were to get a gun permit. I'd only use the weapon within the bounds of the law.

Redgreenfroggy · 10/07/2024 19:26

I think it would take less time to come up with a list of reasons why I would want to move to the USA. It would certainly be shorter

poetryandwine · 10/07/2024 19:27

Everyone I stay with in America has much better - easier and more comprehensive - home recycling than we do in the UK.

Cannot imagine why PPs are dissing American recycling schemes

HumanbyDesign · 10/07/2024 19:30

Hillarious · 10/07/2024 14:11

Guns
Taxes
Health care
Biden
Trump

This is like a kind of political version of "my grandmother went to market" 😂

Guns
Taxes
Health care
Biden
Trump
Horribly lax food regs

EconomyClassRockstar · 10/07/2024 19:33

Why is everyone blathering on about the food? The OP is looking at NYS and Connecticut so presumably the OPs DH is working in NYC area. There are literally thousands of AMAZING restaurants here. Any evening I fancy, I can walk to a restaurant for dinner and every single one of them is excellent and that isn't even in NYC itself.

The food you eat at home is entirely on you. I wouldn't buy the kind of food that is full of crap in the first place, wherever I lived.

poetryandwine · 10/07/2024 19:34

ReadingSoManyThreads · 10/07/2024 16:55

There are lakes and mountains in the UK.

GMO Foods
Washing their chicken in chlorine.
Use of carcinogenic food colourings and E numbers that are banned here in the UK.

I adore walking in the Lake District and cherish our mountains, but there is nothing remotely like the Great Lakes or the Rockies, Sierra Nevadas or Cascades in the UK. Completely different orders of magnitude

JohnofWessex · 10/07/2024 19:34

Trump

Thetroutofnocraic1 · 10/07/2024 19:38

I’ve never been to the US. So I don’t feel I have the experience to know for sure I wouldn’t move there. I’d imagine parts of it are lovely , safe and similar to Europe. It’s a huge place. The climate in some areas appeals to me. They have proper seasons , snow in the winter and sun in summer .
However the one thing that stands out in putting me off is the gun culture. It just drives me insane how ridiculous they are about their guns. The amount of school shootings and how many many even seemingly intelligent people are in denial about the fact that they have a gun problem. I must add that my DH lived there for 4 years as a child and hated it.. he doesn’t even want to visit it as an adult. He had friends etc in school but hated the culture and the food.

brunettemic · 10/07/2024 19:41

Probably really only healthcare. The guns thing really doesn’t scare me in the slightest.

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 10/07/2024 19:42

I lived on the east coast for 5 years. It was fantastic! Great standard of living. Private healthcare. Beaches every weekend in the summer. Skiing every weekend in the winter. Fantastic seafood. Plenty to see and do. Fabulous biking, hiking and sailing.

Have you ever actually been to the US OP?

Your reasons for not going are pretty daft. How long is your DH proposing to go for? Will you be working while you're there? What benefits will his job offer? These are the things you should be looking to, not the reasons you're compiling for not going.

Ilovelifeverymuch · 10/07/2024 19:42

poetryandwine · 10/07/2024 19:27

Everyone I stay with in America has much better - easier and more comprehensive - home recycling than we do in the UK.

Cannot imagine why PPs are dissing American recycling schemes

I agree they recycling will vary by state but I agree making blanket statements such as Americans don't recycle or don't do this or that is ridiculous.

There was a similar thread a few months ago where one of the posters said she went to visit her friends and concluded that Americans don't eat vegetables because they can't find them in stores 😂

poetryandwine · 10/07/2024 19:44

Pikopikoputput · 10/07/2024 15:37

As an American in the UK once said, “Americans are like wearing a Hawaiian shirt to a funeral”. If you like that sort of vibe, that’s fine. The “full of Americans” was a bit of a joke though.

This is very much not the vibe in Northern CA, Seattle, or on the Upper East Side, in Chappaqua or Greenwich, etc - the types of places OP is lucky enough to be house hunting

Delatron · 10/07/2024 19:46

Backwoods57 · 10/07/2024 19:08

Just throwing a opposite view into the mix, I have lived in the US for 10 years now. I have 2 DD's 5 and 2.

Healthcare: Both kids were born here, we have health insurance through DH's employer, insurance covered all but $2k of each birth.

Guns: Not a issue, the only guns I see are our own, never seen one in public, have not had any gun crime in our area.

Crime: Non existent, I don't feel the need to ever lock the car or house.

Education: Schools are town based and very good, DD gets the school bus to and from the end of our driveway. Lesson quality is very good.

The biggest thing is we have space, and can afford a lifestyle that would be impossible in the UK.

We would never move back to the UK

‘Guns : not an issue.’

Yet it’s the leading cause of death in the under 17s in the country you live in. Jesus.
No wonder it’s still an issue. Keep turning that blind eye and doing naff all .

DdraigGoch · 10/07/2024 19:46

In the US, life is good if you're rich, and shit if you're poor. A lot of the issues PPs have mentioned (food quality, violence, healthcare, education etc.) are things that in your situation (high-paid job, living in a better state) are things that you'll effectively be able to buy your way out of. So look through the small print of what healthcare is offered by your husband's prospective employer. In a well-paid job your family can afford to pay the extra for organic food rather than stuff laden with corn syrup and chemicals which would be banned in the EU.

Look carefully at where you'd be living - if you're used to being able to walk to the shops and other amenities then look up walkability and transit scores, and check Google Earth/Streetview to see whether sidewalks are provided and how safe the crosswalks look. "Stroads" (like the one pictured) are the epitome of unsafe infrastructure and not the sort of place you want to be walking with your kids. In the North East there are older towns which haven't given everything over to cars so you can still walk about. Many US suburbs are awful places for kids to grow up, most are so car dependant that their only offline social life will rely on you ferrying them about.

Reasons you wouldn’t move to US
NomenNudum · 10/07/2024 19:47

poetryandwine · 10/07/2024 19:34

I adore walking in the Lake District and cherish our mountains, but there is nothing remotely like the Great Lakes or the Rockies, Sierra Nevadas or Cascades in the UK. Completely different orders of magnitude

So stay in the UK and go on holiday to Switzerland.

Delatron · 10/07/2024 19:47

Thetroutofnocraic1 · 10/07/2024 19:38

I’ve never been to the US. So I don’t feel I have the experience to know for sure I wouldn’t move there. I’d imagine parts of it are lovely , safe and similar to Europe. It’s a huge place. The climate in some areas appeals to me. They have proper seasons , snow in the winter and sun in summer .
However the one thing that stands out in putting me off is the gun culture. It just drives me insane how ridiculous they are about their guns. The amount of school shootings and how many many even seemingly intelligent people are in denial about the fact that they have a gun problem. I must add that my DH lived there for 4 years as a child and hated it.. he doesn’t even want to visit it as an adult. He had friends etc in school but hated the culture and the food.

Yes. Denial is right. As seen on this thread. That’s why nothing ever changes.

FluffyDiplodocus · 10/07/2024 19:47

Aside from guns, the lack of workers rights would put me off hugely.

Thetroutofnocraic1 · 10/07/2024 19:48

brunettemic · 10/07/2024 19:41

Probably really only healthcare. The guns thing really doesn’t scare me in the slightest.

So if you were sitting in a restaurant and saw some civilians walking in with massive guns it wouldn’t bother you in the least ? Would certainly bother me. I am probably a bit sheltered but I’m from Ireland where the police don’t even carry guns. So it is so unusual to see a person with a gun. When I am abroad and see police walking around with guns I always take note because seeing a gun is such a strange sight to me. Judging from news stories about innocent civilians being shot, particularly black people , I’m not sure i would even trust the police carrying guns over there .

willWillSmithsmith · 10/07/2024 19:52

mambojambodothetango · 10/07/2024 17:24

Guns
Drugs
Reliance on cars
Religious nutters
Aggression
Entitlement
Shit food

Apparently it's accepted by US citizens that they'll get food poisoning several times per year. Not only do they pump animals full of antibiotics and allow a % of faeces and hair into meat products, they also pad food out with corn starch, which has practically no nutritional value, and use corn syrup as a hidden sweetener to make food more appealing and make you want to eat more.

TBH that fact alone would be enough to put me off.

I have heard their food regulations are pretty bad. That sounds stomach churning.

walkingnightmare · 10/07/2024 19:52

I was offered a job in the US and turned it down as I need more than 10 days holiday and couldn't live with the worry of being asked to leave with no notice and no reason.

Sondheimisademigod · 10/07/2024 19:59

Christian fundamentalists
Racism
Any 'pastor' that fleeces people in the name of jesus
Everything everyone else has said
They gave James Corden a tv show
Death penalty
Sugar in everything
Ridiculously large portions
No washing machines in flats (and no kitchens often)
Gun lobby

coupdetonnerre · 10/07/2024 20:02

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Ilovelifeverymuch · 10/07/2024 20:05

Thetroutofnocraic1 · 10/07/2024 19:48

So if you were sitting in a restaurant and saw some civilians walking in with massive guns it wouldn’t bother you in the least ? Would certainly bother me. I am probably a bit sheltered but I’m from Ireland where the police don’t even carry guns. So it is so unusual to see a person with a gun. When I am abroad and see police walking around with guns I always take note because seeing a gun is such a strange sight to me. Judging from news stories about innocent civilians being shot, particularly black people , I’m not sure i would even trust the police carrying guns over there .

I don't think that's what they meant, they meant while there are dishes with gun majority of people in the US live without any interaction or even seeing guns so it's not like everyone is walking around ducking bullets like it's made to sound but somehow you interpreted it as not being bothered if someone jumps into a restaurant with a big gun.

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