Reasons you wouldn’t move to US

[Preiu]

Dh has been offered a job in the US. The increase in salary would put us into a completely different wealth bracket but I really don’t want to move.

• fear of home invasion with guns
• school shooting - guns in general I guess
• American exceptionalism attitude annoys me
• Being away from family
• Not having Europe on doorstep

Can I ask if you have any other reasons

Holidays: if you're not keeping your UK holiday entitlement, the US is miserly when it comes to paid holidays. And then trying to take the days!

Ditto for sick days. They're quite limited in the states.

Medical insurance: Will the new job pay for top medical insurance for the whole family? It's crazy expensive.

Employment opportunities: Will OP actually be entitled to work in the states?

Child custody: Will she be stuck there and unable to leave because of the children if she hates it.

Guns.

Women's rights: Do you have daughters? Do you care about their rightrs? And Are you yourself done having children but could possibly have an 'oops' that you want to terminate? Some states don't allow that...

Guns
Healthcare
Crap support for women, eg hardly any maternity leave
Poor amount of annual leave
Food deserts with only crap food available
Over-reliance on cars and massive-laned roads
Lack of public transport
The insular mentality (what was it? Something like only 30% of people have a passport)
The dominance of religion and religious attitudes (I mean even the supposedly non-religious go to church, etc)
The poor education system
The culture

This is correct. The risk of a school shooting is low - a child might also die in a car accident but we still drive them about....

And we tend to read about politics, extreme attitudes and crime rather than how normal people behave. And most Americans are pretty normal. Last time we were there we went to a church and the people there were pretty similar to those you'd meet here in a similar context.

I'd be more concerned about just how hard people work in business there. There's a reason they earn more - longer hours, shorter holiday. I'd also struggle with the rich/poor gap - health care for the bottom 5-10% is a horror show

👏

I had the exact same treatment on private health insurance in the UK with the added bonus that I will never have to worry about going bankrupt for healthcare should I ever lose my job.

What do you mean by a decent church service?

There will be plenty of Episcopalian (Anglican) churches in the OP’s proposed region

‘Millions of Americans are not affected by school shootings . It would be the same as if they were citing knife crime , stabbings as a reason not to live in UK .’

I I hear this comparison all the time

HOWEVER

2023

US gun deaths - 43,000
US shootings - 115,000
Mass shootings - 650
USA assault with knives 100,000

England/wales murders ( not all by knife) 590
40% knife used, 5% shooting

The US population is just over 5x that of Eng/wales so even allowing for adjusting for population size you can see how much higher the crime rate is.
And those stats aren’t even looking at assault, rape, robbery, car-jacking etc

I’m just thankful that we don’t have guns readily available here.

It’s immoral to say that shooting children in school is overblown.

What you mean is that the number of kids in America who are shot in classrooms is acceptable to you. Based on that number/stat, we shouldn’t make a fuss.

Too many Americans have got used to it, and accept it.

Desensitised.

How long for? Would it be a permanent move or would you be able to return to UK after a couple of years?

Possibly on the brink of civil war, very right wing nation, rise of nazism and facism, book banning, religion in politics, terrible on women’s rights, terrible on LGBT rights, huge racism problem, high cost of living, poor quality of life, terrible healthcare costs, huge inequality, opioid crisis.

For these reasons and those on your list (especially school shootings and gun violence generally) the USA is very far down the list of countries I would be prepared to move to.

Very odd, a post I made about increasing racism in the US towards brown and black people has been hidden by HQ.

I'd happily move to the USA. I'm not worried about the guns.

If I moved to the USA I'd definitely try and get a concealed licence.

I have an American friend who just shot and killed a home invader.

The child custody thing is no joke although I'd add this doesn't only apply to the US. There are threads on here (most recently NZ related) where mothers have been stuck in another country, unable to return. I would figure this out before an international move anywhere.

Sorry those US based are seeing others as haters. Some people love it - the OP might. But for any international move you have to go in with your eyes open.

You could easily have the following thread (and if fact they do happen): Reasons why I shouldn't move to France/Dubai/Japan?

The are pluses and minuses both places, it's totally ok to ask about negatives.

I'm in the UK, schools have emergency drills which would cover shooting. Ds is an adult now but his primary school did them when he was 7 and I know schools still do them as I have friends who are teachers.

This totally depends on where you live. The scenery can be absolutely stunning.

Some cities have decent public transport. Much better than rural UK.

It is too large and Federalized to be treated as one identical entity.

If you have money I'm sure it's a fabulous place to live. Pick a liberal low crime area and you will be fine.

Health care....my friends son lives their he has a regular job she's a teacher their 5 year old was admitted with breathing issues the bill was 10k her insurance only covered 3k his 6k but they couldn't use both so my friend had to cover it same when she needed an additional scan insurance wouldn't pay. It's great if you're working and healthy but get something like cancer and your bankrupt.
Then they have lots of Tornados in their area
As a teacher she's had 4 shooter on premises alerts one real in 6 years.

We do have the sun in the UK! I'm sitting out in it right now! ☀️😂

I lived in the US (in a cold state) there was very little crime and never saw any gun crime.

I haven't locked my door during the day in years. In the entire time I have lived in the US (pretty much in the area where you would be living) I have only ever seen guns on the police and in a store. Never in anyone's home, even though I know they are there. Stranger on stranger crime in our area is pretty much non existent, hence when it happens it makes such big news. In fact, I'd go as far as saying you have more chance that your house will burn down (I know loads of people that this has happened to. Bloody wooden houses!) than getting shot by a random stranger in the areas you are specifically looking at.

I am 100% sure that my children who have all grown up in the US have had a far better life because of moving here than had we stayed in the UK. The travel opportunities are outstanding and you can still go to Europe. The sense of community is fantastic. Plus the weather is muuuuuuuuch better. Anyway, thought I'd give you a bit of positivity.

I’m sure you’ll take all the above on board OP, if you haven’t already.
From what I hear you will need your larger US salary as the cost of living can be somewhat higher than here. Look into local taxes, sales taxes levied at the point of sale (vary from state to state) and tipping.
Eating out looks cheaper but less so when you add a 20-25 percent (or more) tip to make up for the miserable wages of the wait staff. It is not really optionsl .
Some plus points — IME the food can be very good especially in New England with wonderful seafood and breads (NOT supermarket) and the fruit and vegetable selections in decent markets are fine. Lots of salads.
We’ve had half a dozen holidays to Florida when DC were small plus two or three to Boston and touring New England. Florida citrus fruits are excellent and clams, lobsters and oysters are great in New England.
Yes, portions are huge but the wait staff are fine with people sharing or taking leftovers away so you don’t need to overeat… (although we all do sometimes)
I love visiting the States, the people are so friendly and nice, the scenery can be gorgeous. (New England in the autumn, for example.) But they tend to be are more religious than we and thus restrictions on reproductive rights. Possibly.

I’ve heard of ex-Pats not really fitting into the local social scene as they did not join a church. That may not be an issue for you, of course.
Lots to consider, it’s a big step. Good luck!
PS And if health cover is provided for the family, check whether it covers dental! Also co-pays - excesses, in other words.

I did not say that shooting children is overblown. Of course the only acceptable number of children getting shot in school is zero. And yes, there are pro-gun people who seem quite comfortable with a number that is higher than that.

My only point is that it's very unlikely to happen to any person, as are dozens of other awful things that we would all like to see go away. To point that out does not imply acceptance of it. This thread is about whether OP might not want to move to the US, not the politics or morality of gun control.

Imagine someone saying they were thinking about moving to London, and someone said don't, you might get run over by an Islamist terrorist mounting the pavement, and someone else pointed out how vanishingly unlikely that is. 🙏

Brit who lived in NYC for 5 years here... I found the people quite unpleasant and one dimensional.
Very into money, status etc.

I ended up only really bonding with other immigrants from across Europe.

Oh and Americans outside of East / West coast all dress really badly...

I have all of the things listed as positive where I live, And I still dont have to tolerate the BS people who live in the US do.
Nothing you say would persuade me its a decent place to live.
We have Science museums? Great, shame half the population dont believe in science anymore.