Reasons you wouldn’t move to US

[Preiu]

Dh has been offered a job in the US. The increase in salary would put us into a completely different wealth bracket but I really don’t want to move.

• fear of home invasion with guns
• school shooting - guns in general I guess
• American exceptionalism attitude annoys me
• Being away from family
• Not having Europe on doorstep

Can I ask if you have any other reasons

This. Another posted they ' are thankfully rare'.
Every couple of weeks isn't rare, and even when they do happen, nothing ever changes. I could never live in a country where I could wave my child off to school knowing they might not come home. Rare or not it is more likely in the USA than any other country in the world.

‘It’s horrible hearing people describe mass shootings - executions - of school children as a risk they’re happy to live with.’

It’s true though, isn’t it. Rather than bring in any kind of effective gun control they’d rather stick Kevlar in kids school bags, drill them in how to hide effectively, invest in whiteboards that can double as bullet proof shelters.
That’s deciding that you’d rather risk a school
shooting than restrict AR-15s access
to civilians.

What do I, personally, do? Most importantly I vote.

Massively depends on where you move to. We spent 3years in MA. My husband was on a great wage with a good health insurance packet. It cost us an additional 6k a year but it meant that our health care was exceptional. Risk of gun crime is very low in some states. My only concern was the lower quality of education. We're still friends with some of my US friends and my children are now way ahead of where their children of a similar age are. In short I loved it out there. We walked everywhere. Were close to amazing scenery and I loved their family values and open nature

Yes, of course, it is a very different system.

It probably depends on what suits the DC too. One of the families were very academic and they preferred the UK system. Their DC went to Grammar so that worked well for them. I don't know the others so well.

Health care and trump

I lived in Massachusetts for a couple of years in the late 1990s, and had a visa that allowed me to stay and be eligible for a green card in time. I had to go home suddenly for a family emergency, and just decided I didn't like it enough it go back. So I moved to the UK instead.

Guns, Tax on every little thing, Funny laws about Alcohol, very religious.
Not Britain.

yes….I had forgotten how shit the cheese is 😂….dining out is not great full stop …..no good for vegetarians ( me) or vegans…..and portion size is ridiculous….easy to see how there’s so many obese people walking around.

I don’t mean church buildings… I mean places to attend decent church services.

And the healthcare is WAY better in the US. My biggest source of anxiety in the UK is that I or my children would get seriously ill and have to rely upon the NHS. It is complicated if you are new to the system, but then so is the nhs when that’s not what you know.

my mother lives in a ‘healthcare desert’ in the US, meaning resources considered strained by American standards, and it is so so so much better than anything anyone in the uk is getting. She was recently complaining that she had to wait a whole 2 months to get a knee replacement surgery booked. That was because she was picky about her surgeon and wanted to get a spot in a particular recovery centre for her post op physio.

I live in NY, north of NYC and am quite familar with Connecticut if you have any questions about the area. Would one or both of you would be commuting into NYC?

No kinder eggs

The bunch of gun-loving yahoo's called "The Proud Boys", an offshoot of the KKK from what I can gather. Oh, and they worship Donald Trump too.

Mike drop

The chances of you becoming an actual victim of gun violence in the US are still very low. 10 or 100 times the UK level, but still very low in absolute terms. (I'm not pro-gun, quite the opposite, but the actual risk among 330 million is very small.)

The problem is more the systematised fear of it. I've seen videos of US college students who come to Europe and choose where to sit in the lecture theatre on the first day based on where they would dive to if someone came in and started shooting, and their European colleagues go "Are you nuts?". Holding active shooter drill for 5 year olds must be hugely psychologically damaging.

I see people are mentioning healthcare, but if you have good insurance and a few thousand per year to cover the deductibles (excess) and co-pays, American healthcare is great. It ranks poorly on world surveys mostly because so many people (still) don't have access to it.

Something that would put me off is that Americans have different ideas of friendship. You can think you are quite close to someone and then they move away, not even very far, and they don't talk to you again. Not because you had an "unfriending" incident, it's just they don't seem to make the effort. Of course, exceptions apply and we have dear long-term American friends, but there is a "transactional" aspect to many relationships with Americans, I find.

I could live without them though because I'd move there in a flash, although not sure they'd have me

My parents have had to wait much longer than this in a city with a hospital on virtually every corner. They have had ridiculous waits for routine appointments.

If the OP currently has private healthcare in the UK she will be accessing comparable services to what is available in the US but it could cost her family much more. A friend of mine who is a doctor and lived in another European country but was airlifted to the UK for treatment when her husband was on secondment in Europe said as much herself.

Pure NHS - okay, hands up. But not sure this is what we are debating in the case of the OP.

However, I have always known if I lose my job here my kids can go to the doctor.

Sorry, I haven't read the whole thread. For me it would be school shootings. Also be aware Republicans in some state are trying to restrict certain forms of contraception like the IUD. Also the morning after pill.

Not sure which state you're thinking of moving to?

More than 630 mass shootings last year alone in the US. Don't think it's an overblown fear/consideration. In the same time period the UK had 1 (6 injuries, no fatalities).

I had to have a herniated disc in my cervical spine replaced with an artificial one earlier this year. I had the MRI done the same day I saw the orthopedist, then a two week wait for the surgery.

There's a thread going currently about why you can't have propofol from the NHS for a colonoscopy (a shortage of anesthesiologists), which I found a bit shocking.

I’m American but left when I was in my late 20s (mid 40s now).

There are so many reasons I would never move back (health care, expensive, politics are whack), but day to day, it would be the feeling of hypervigilance.

I never realised how unsafe I felt, how much I was always looking over my shoulder, looking around when stopped at a traffic light at night, locking the car as soon as I got in, locking the house as soon as I got in, etc.

It was only when I didn’t do it anymore that I became super aware of how on edge I was all the time. When I actually lived there, I didn’t really notice how much my guard was always up, but it was.

That and with the election coming up, and the very real possibility Trump could be re-elected, wouldn’t touch it with a barge pole! 😬

Big no for me, for all those reasons you’ve mentioned

I moved to America years ago, and it has been lovely. Sorry to upset your thinly-disguised America-bashing thread.

Reasons I wouldn’t move back to the UK:

Terrible weather
Terrible salary
Can't do attitude
Intrusive in-laws
Houses too small
Zero sun
NHS 'care'
terrible schools

Here I have international Art, Science, Natural History, Space museums, loads of parks, walkways and cycle ways, and delicious food on tap! Incredible local wildlife and warm/hot most of the year round, My kids have had an incredible education, in one of the US public schools so despised by mumsnetters who are too frightened to do anything, including opening their own doors. Positive, outward looking kids. It’s amazing to see a big group of teens together and know they are going to be respectful and courteous instead of knowing they are going to swear at me and be just plain nasty (happened many times in the UK). I am lucky, though, as I live in one of the best suburbs in the country. Here to stay.

Where did you live? I have lived in the US for 30 years and never felt that way. I never lock my car when I get in it and our front door is often unlocked all day long.