To let almost 10 year old DD walk to Greggs

[LiarLiarKnickersAblaze]

We live in a medium sized city on a terraced street. At end & within sight of house is a Greggs. One small road to cross by our house (not a main road - small road between terraced houses). We've been trying to teach DD almost 10 some responsibility to get her ready for walking & travelling to school in Yr6 and then secondary. For context she is v tall and mature for her age. We let her pop to Greggs sometimes (about once a month) to get a sausage roll for breakfast. No issues so far however DD said this morning that they were asking questions like 'where's your Mum?'.

DD doesn't fully know this because trying to build her confidence but I still stand outside house and watch her from the porch, cross the small road and watch her walk in and then walk out then home. By this point I relocate to the window and have full line of sight of her walk.

AIBU?

Edit for context: it is 40 metres-ish away.

😂

Is it enough nutrition for 3 hours? Yes, its fucking fine!

They still wouldn't stop the child buying a sausage roll every day 🤷‍♀️

Sorry are you being sarcastic? I can’t tell. I don’t understand the comment.

@LiarLiarKnickersAblaze the journey to independence is a long one. As with everything else milestones are individual not a race. For whats its worth I think you are going it right.

You are learning to let go and overcoming a mother’s anxiety. It never goes you just have to learn to mask so that you don’t hold children back.

Your daughter is learning to rely in her own judgment with regard to crossing the road. Traffic training. She is also learning about making a purchase and presumably handling change. Communication and maths skills.

keep on doing what your doing. I would be lying if I said anxiety gets earlier, it doesn’t. My own DD1 would think nothing of taking a flight solo. DD2 with additional needs has never got on a train by herself, she doesn’t feel ready (and neither am I).

Love this response

This is becoming more about the sausage roll than it is my DD who has been completely sidelined in this narrative haha.

Just to feed the sausage roll trolls, she's currently watching TV and will be having a home cooked burger for dinner to celebrate the match, which she will be staying up past her usual bedtime to watch. Judging by some of the comments received I guess I might as well be giving her a beer as well?!

Oh dear, I've upset the sludge eaters.

You'd be appalled at what I see on my way to work... A queue of secondary school children outside Greggs every morning buying their sausage rolls. Maybe I should notify social services. There will be quite a few posters on here getting all worked up who don't realise what their teenage children eat when they're out and about.

Do you always swear to make your point?
🫣

If I fucking want to, yes. It's not banned here you know.

You've upset the people who aren't condescending twats.

I didn't say is WAS banned.
I asked if you need to swear to make your point? You seem a tad invested.

You think a sausage roll is a decent breakfast on a regular basis?

Yes. Plenty of people eat the same breakfast every day. Why would, say, a toastie and coffee every day be any better?

I didn't suggest a toastie was better.
Sausage rolls shouldn't be every day food. They're treat food. I don't think OP was planning for this to be an every day occurrence either tbh.

Genius response.
Maybe different times, but aged 7 my mum put me and my giant rucksack on a train at Manchester Piccadilly and told me to get off in Ruthin, North Wales, where "'someone" would meet me and take me to activity camp. I loved it.

I live near a school and see what many of them eat/drink for lunch - shite, shite and more shite, washed down with more liquid shite. Some of them seem to get through the day on Monster or Red Bull! Hopefully they're having a half decent breakfast and dinner though.

YANBU - we were sending our kids to corner shop (also about 40m away) from age 8. I don't think there's even any reason to watch.

I think you are doing absolutely the right thing except I probably wouldn't even watch her from a distance if she's done it once or twice without problems. Letting children learn life skills is a great thing.

If someone asks "where's your mum?" it might not necessarily mean they don't think she's safe on her own, just that they're used to seeing her with you and are wondering if you're OK since you're not there. I would probably encourage her to say something like "she let me come on my own today, but I don't live far away." It shouldn't be a big deal and they will soon get used to it if she continues to go on her own.

As for the sausage roll - I don't happen to like sausages or sausage rolls very much (had too many gristly ones at an impressionable age) but I don't condemn you for that. Nobody here has any idea what else she eats and there's no reason why anybody shouldn't have a sausage roll occasionally.

My son left year 6 still age 10. I think it’s fine OP.

Auf Wiedersehen @EinekleineKatze

Oh wait ... you're still here? Thought you were leaving us?

Sounds totally fine to me - give them a bit of independence and then you just increase it - well that's what I did.

BTW - next time you ask something like this - to avoid any MN flak - just say your DD is going to the local vegan deli to get a falafel wrap 😂

Just the very occasional vegan falafel though: more than one a month could bring on scrofula or Dengue fever.

It's fine! I let my son go to the corner shop at 7 and it was out of sight and a couple of roads away. Pedestrian crossing. He loved to run errands for me there. By the time he was 10 he had got fed up with it!

It's not harmless at all. At 10 years old, if a shop assistant asked me where my Mum was, I'd have replied 'she's dead'. Some children don't have a Mum with them because they don't care, or have left them, or are in prison etc.