To let almost 10 year old DD walk to Greggs

[LiarLiarKnickersAblaze]

We live in a medium sized city on a terraced street. At end & within sight of house is a Greggs. One small road to cross by our house (not a main road - small road between terraced houses). We've been trying to teach DD almost 10 some responsibility to get her ready for walking & travelling to school in Yr6 and then secondary. For context she is v tall and mature for her age. We let her pop to Greggs sometimes (about once a month) to get a sausage roll for breakfast. No issues so far however DD said this morning that they were asking questions like 'where's your Mum?'.

DD doesn't fully know this because trying to build her confidence but I still stand outside house and watch her from the porch, cross the small road and watch her walk in and then walk out then home. By this point I relocate to the window and have full line of sight of her walk.

AIBU?

Edit for context: it is 40 metres-ish away.

Why the need to comment on Greggs for breakfast it's occasional and won't do any harm

One of the best things my husband does for me - if he's up early to take one of the kids somewhere he brings me in bed a Greggs vegan sausage roll, a coffee and the paper. It's a fantastic breakfast.

Totally fine! Wouldn't even question it.

Why are you glad? The OP didn't ask for judgement on what her child eats.

Does she have a phone so you can track her location? We live very rurally and kids have a lot of freedom but most have either a phone or a kids smart watch (imoo are good) so parents know where they are.

I agree. Kids younger than that walk to and from school by themselves here.

Another person who can't answer a simple question without judging and commenting on a bloody sausage roll.

If it doesn't matter why are you commenting on it?

Oh, do get over yourself. Greggs sells things like breakfast rolls etc. Something like a bacon roll is really not a terrible breakfast.

OP, it's fine for your kid to walk to a sandwich shop that you can see from your house!

😂

@ZenNudist
OP never asked for your opinion on what her child eats, does that give you a thrill putting people down?
Pathetic

Contradictions* lol

What does it matter?

Watching her walk up and then 'hiding' when she comes back is not "doing everything right" - it's very odd behaviour to be that anxious about a perfectly capable 10 year old walking to the end of the road and back.

OP said it was about once a month, so it's not an issue I don't think

I think its fine for a 10 year to walk to the end of the road on her own. We are just starting to let our 8 year old walk to end of road to post letters, no road crossing.

By 10 I expect her to be walking to school on her own - school is at end of our road, 1 very quiet road cross just outside our door which we will see her across.

Children need to gradually build up these life skills in line with their maturity, if we don't let them we are leafing to greater anxiety in the future.

No she's not.

YABU to judge her and the choices she makes for her kids.

I'm sure yours all eat organic lentils and wouldn't even sniff a haribo.

This thread is really making me giggle.

Only on Mumsnet could the answer to the OP’s question involve the perils of a sausage roll.

Sounds good to me OP. 👍

YANBU it's perfectly fine to do this, and to eat a Gregg's sausage roll occasionally.

MN is hilarious though - a few weeks ago somebody posted about not letting their 12yo walk alone 40m down a hotel corridor to the ice machine and many people agreed with not being comfortable with it as she may be snatched through an open hotel room door!

We learn by doing, as they say, and part of parenting is letting your kids do things with increasing levels of independence.

It’s fine op, you know her and you know the road. Impossible for any of us to say how safe or unsafe it is.

I haven’t been to a greggs but I guess it’s similar to normal bakeries. Up to you what you allow but I bet you had just said the corner shop or something now!

I live in a quiet cul-de-sac. My 8 year old plays out and knocks for her friends who also live here. I don't have eyes on her all the time. It's not good for kids to be babied and hovered over so much. When I was 9/10 I was cycling on the road to my friend's house in the next village.

When I used to walk to and from school, alone in the 90s from 9yrs old, one of the neighbour's would judge, and make comments on where my dm was. My school was around the corner, only a couple of streets away. There was a main road, but not overly busy at that time, as there were a lot fewer cars. Nevertheless, this comment has stuck with me all of this time. I felt embarrassed, and abit neglected, why were other kids Mums there, and mine wasn't. She was a sahm, so just in the house. It has made me certain I will not let me dcs walk to school alone until secondary school.

Back then, there was so much more freedom as well, so a pp mentioning a dc, a primary school dc, walking to school alone, has surprised me.

Greggs while you're secretly watching is absolutely fine. I think as some others have said, it depends on the child. They're ready at different ages, one size does not fit all.

I can't decide if I'm jealous of your end-of-the-road Greggs or glad it's not me. I'd be down there WAAAY too often!

This is totally fine. Tell her to tell people you're close by. There's an element of it being good that people are looking out for her, but also an element of being annoying that they're butting in. This is something she's going to have to learn to navigate though, especially as a girl.

This is peak Mumsnet, more concern over a sausage roll than a kid being out on their own.

Sounds absolutely fine! My dd2 10yo has been walking to the shop for a few months and that’s a 10 min walk. She has started going to the park for an hour with a friend, also 10 mins away. She’s mature and just finishing y5 so it’s normal they walk to school then if they live close enough. I’m really pleased with her independence. Dd1 was not so independent at that age (asd and not v sensible).

Good Lord, why would she need her location tracked to go down the street a bit.

No wonder so many kids have anxiety.