To let almost 10 year old DD walk to Greggs

[LiarLiarKnickersAblaze]

We live in a medium sized city on a terraced street. At end & within sight of house is a Greggs. One small road to cross by our house (not a main road - small road between terraced houses). We've been trying to teach DD almost 10 some responsibility to get her ready for walking & travelling to school in Yr6 and then secondary. For context she is v tall and mature for her age. We let her pop to Greggs sometimes (about once a month) to get a sausage roll for breakfast. No issues so far however DD said this morning that they were asking questions like 'where's your Mum?'.

DD doesn't fully know this because trying to build her confidence but I still stand outside house and watch her from the porch, cross the small road and watch her walk in and then walk out then home. By this point I relocate to the window and have full line of sight of her walk.

AIBU?

Edit for context: it is 40 metres-ish away.

Neenaw neenaw here come the sausage roll police 🤣

I knew someone would mention this but didn't expect it to be the first reply 😂

This is MN, I wouldn't expect anything less. Give it time and the thread will fill up with teeny tinies and the UPF police.

Of course this is fine .... I am wondering if the "where's your mum" questions are because it's buying a sausage roll for breakfast. Perhaps there is a concern that there's no one at home or no food at home? Does she get the same questions if she goes and buys a loaf of bread after school?

I think they're probably asking just to have something to say, their go-to casual conversation for kids who sometimes go in with their parents. It's highly unlikely that anyone thinks a kid of that age shouldn't go to a shop on their own.

Tbf she's 9 and on her own its not as if she's 14 .

We moved about 6 miles away from my daughter's primary school when she was 8 and used to catch the bus on her own. The bus stop is outside our house and directly outside her school. Guess what? She was absolutely fine. We really need to stop infantilising our children and realise that they are more capable than many people think.

@Crinklycrisp you're right, I had too much faith in people being normal 🙈

Get over it. Some people like to watch their kid where they can, so they know they are okay, some are more relaxed and don't.
Why do you have a bee in your bonnet over it?

Not your decision, you don't need to understand and you don't need to mock someone else's anxiety.
No wonder people feel so ashamed to ask for mental health help when there are people like you insinuating they're ridiculous for it.

You don't see the point? Great, don't do it with your own child(ren) then.
Problem solved.

It's MN full of contractions.

Give your kid coco pops for breakfast...OMG why would you poison your child?

Give them plain yoghurt, organic oats and a drizzle of honey ... OMG why can't you give your kid coco pops like everyone else??

I’d assume they were checking out of kindness. You know that she’s a fed, well looked after child who lives 40 m away but for all they know she could have walked 20 minutes and her parents have no idea where she is/ don’t care. So I don’t think it’s outrageous they asked as she is still a primary aged child, she’s not 16 and fully capable of totally fending for herself and going about as she pleases.

No issues so far however DD said this morning that they were asking questions like 'where's your Mum?'.

I think it's nice and observant of Gregg's staff to ask this - it means they've noticed that a child is coming in for breakfast on her own. Nothing wrong with what you're doing, it's something we all had to do to teach our children independence and be streetwise.

You might go along with her one day to let them know that you are around!

I thought you were going to say she was 5 not 10. Of course yabu.
A developmentally normal (sorry if that word gives offence but I don't know how else to phrase it) 10- year- old SHOULD be able to safely walk a short distance, cross the road etc in broad daylight.

You need to be careful your neuroticism doesn't rub off on her.

It's fine, next time tell her to tell them you're outside.
We have a corner shop literally down the road from us and I let my 9 yo go there with a friend to buy sweets occasionally. My 13 yo has been going there alone since she was 10/11 in year 6. When it's light outside obviously.
It's important for them to learn how to do this stuff!

I'm guessing it's a roll and sausage rather than a sausage roll? Not that it matters but nutritionally slightly better. Does she get the coffee as well? Love a greggs breakfast deal.

We've done this with DS - it's a small Tesco rather than Greggs, he goes and gets himself a small treat. I do usually watch from the window, but he's ASD and possibly dyspraxic so I like to see he's made it without falling over!

When I was that age I was going to get small things from the shops for my mum - milk, bread etc. and the shops were a bit further away.

YABU to let her go to Greggs and buy their processed sewage.

You can't be serious...are you saying that people having a Greggs' sausage roll for breakfast (once a month!) is unusual?!

OP, it all sounds fine, as does you keeping an eye on her if that works for you and your family. It's astonishing how many people think their own sphere of experience is the only one relevant.

That's not the question, though, is it? Maybe brush up on your comprehension skills and stop being so judgemental.

You are doing everything right. You could go with her one day but let her do all the talking and paying and let them know she is practising her independence, if it reassures you.

It's completely fine and a normal age to be independent. At a year older mine were taking two buses to school each way.

'Where's your mum?' is harmless conversation.

All these posts about the evils of a sausage roll for breakfast once a month are peak mumsnet!

Why the hell is your child never been allowed to wander 40 meters from home without being watched, she is 10. By watching her you will be making her feel as though it is unsafe to be on her own.

Not really. It's the ones who have a bad relationship with food. There are plenty of them on here, though.

Mmm Greggs. YABU for not getting her to bring you a breakfast deal back.

Oh, and stop watching her. She's 10 😅