I'm a MILF apparently...

[JustAnotherIdiotAgain]

Just seen a WhatsApp chat (showed to me by DP) where I have been referred to by one of his friends as a MILF.... I'm fucking fuming. Trying not to overreact but the bloody cheek...
Personally I find this dismissive and insulting but didn't think I would be quite this angry. Happy to be told I'm overreacting but not sure I can let this slide!

I’m not sure why anyone would think to tell someone this about his wife tbh but I wouldn’t be upset if it was said about me. Obviously the acronym comes from “like to fuck” but it’s used to connote attractiveness in an older woman. Just because it’s used as a porn search term doesn’t automatically make it gross, any more than searching blow job makes that gross.

I’m not one of those ‘cool wives’ who thinks it’s ok to be disrespectful, I’d just take it in the same way as “your wife is hot” - yes slightly reductive in that you’re being evaluated on your looks, but in a positive way. Would that also upset you?

Ha! I said the same before I say this, I'm still reading the full thread. 🤣

And unlike a lot of other names women are called, there’s an absolutely equal male counterpart - and I know most dads would also be thrilled to be considered a dilf!

David Tennant DILF of the year

Honestly, 'seething' and being so incensed by this is completely over the top. Chill out, leave them to their group and don't give it another thought.

I'm sure your husband is able to make his own appropriate decisions about how he handles stuff and doesn't need your or our input. I'd not want my partner commenting on my chats and the content of these, and tbh I don't show him. Him showing you was clearly a mistake on his part given your reaction.

Do you think a husband owns his wife? That's more worrying than a throwaway milf comment.

Wow I'm shocked so many find this offensive.
Unsure on the age demographic of that but generally that's a term to say you find someone attractive. A women who's a mother or in that age range who is still really attractive.

It's not as deep as some of you are making it out to be. Me and my friends joke with each other all the time about being MILFs. If my partners friends thought of me like this I'd feel complimented tbh.

Not everything has to be offensive...

Love the pp comment that husband should've immediately challenged him to a duel 😂

Is your DH a HILF though?!
Seriously, I'm a staunch feminist but come on, does this matter?
People have always expressed their 'sexual approval' of others, both sexes. This is natural.
Have you never had a conversation where you commented approvingly on a man's looks? Is that now considered disrespectful?!

Oh you definitely have a DH problem.

Your mismatched.

He thinks it’s funny - you’re seething. You’re obviously not on each other wave lengths and if he is friends with people that offend you so much. Funny how you anger isn’t directed at him for not fighting your honour.

Your just seething away on MN because some thought you were attractive enough to bed….

Maybe it’s what the F means in the acronym.

If he was more like Pepe Le Pew it wouldn’t be offensive 😂

Yes I agree. I can't imagine being offended by a comment like that.

I am quoting the poster who thinks it's OK to give the guy a clap on the back because he thinks his wife is a milf.
I am pointing out the assumption is that the husband owns his wife.
I was being sarcastic.
It obviously didn't work.
Of course a man doesn't own his wife but thes guys who comment on someone s wife obviously view her as a possession.

If he's mid 30s he's taken it from his teens through from watching America pie, just meaning 'hot mom'. Not old just someone who's is a mom who's hot. Not saying you can't find it derogatory but giving context that some don't find it as offensive as others or mean it that way

Depends on your sense of humour doesn't it?

Did your husband show you it just to wind you up? You're having a bit of a strong reaction

Wow, you must have had a very long and varied career indeed if you've worked with ALL men.

Or does claiming 'ALL' just sound more impressive than 'quite a lot'?

Ironically, you've just joined the ranks of those same boorish men who do make sweeping generalisations about what all members of a particular sex class do/say/like/want.

Some of the comments on here insisting that 'no, not some; not a lot; but ALL men' are like this... if men came on here and said equivalent sweeping negative things about ALL women (even some women), they would (rightly) be called incels and mocked for not knowing many actual women in real life; they'd probably be reported as trolls, actually.

It's interesting those who are 'assuring' us that ALL men are like this when there are no women present are presumably women who have, somehow, still managed to witness it when they are present - not quite sure how that works.

Either that or they're all men who are members of these crass misogynistic groups who only know and associate with other men who are as ghastly as they are, and thus extrapolate that to ALL men, using their already-evidenced restricted understanding and social skills.

How does a throwaway milf comment imply the man viewed her as the husband's possession?

The pearl clutching here is hilarious!

So how do you interpret that telling a guy is wife is a milf is giving the guy a clap on the back?

DP doesn't find it funny - didn't say that. Nor did I ask him to fight for my honour(!) - if need be i can do that myself. Of all the ways this friend could have picked to comment on me he chose to call me a MILF. Tells me all I need to know about him. I don't like being referred to in this way but am going to park it and not let it become a big deal.

You need to raise your standards.

I am happily married for over 30 years. Respect is important for us. Luckily our young adult kids have high standards and expectations too which have paid off.

You can tell a lot about someone by who they're friends with. Your DP is a shit man for having this man as a friend. and even worse for not even saying anything when this man said it about you.

Agreed. Some women here associate with Neanderthals and thinks it’s the norm. It really doesn’t have to be.

That's hilarious! 😂

Here's a photo of my wife.
She's hot, I'd like to fuck her!

Remove the acronym and it's extremely weird..