To be jealous of DH work routine?

[Notamorning]

AIBU to be jealous of DH's lifestyle? I work in the city, have an hour commute door to door each way my day is typically 12 hours out of the house daily. I'm in a client facing corporate role so little opportunity to WFH and the closest I get to dress down is black jeans and pumps on a Friday.
DH is FT WFH, unless he is travelling internationally which is once every 8 weeks post COVID.
I'm just shattered from the commute and the effort that every day seems to take, I always have to be corporate so I can't just roll out of bed and throw anything on, hair has to be done, make up etc. I'm always at the whim of public transport which will throw my day out in an instant. I'm constantly carrying my life around with me, go to the gym either morning / lunch / after work
On the flip side, DH is still in bed whilst i'm getting ready, he gets up at a reasonable time, can sleep in if he's tired or not feeling great. Can walk the dog / go to the gym when his diary allows. Throw on anything and still look presentable in front of clients. He never needs to think about multiple outfits for the next day - if I'm at an event after work for example.
When I walk in the door he's generally started dinner (which is great) so I get changed and come and help, but don't feel like I get any time through the week to switch off. We menu plan on the weekend, so he doesn't need to think what to make / just follow the list.
I get that this is corporate life, and part of what I want from my career but bloody hell what I wouldn't give to just have a few weeks of his routine for a rest!
When it gets to the weekends he wants to go out and I just want some down time as I feel like I've been 'on' all week, the last thing I want to see is the city.

Well yes, because it's not sustainable.

But you don't seem to want advice, just sympathy, which is fair enough!

I moved to WFH in covid and love it, finally have a work life balance after years of the slog. Can't really go any higher unless I go back to travelling internationally again so i'm happy where I am. I feel your pain, on the odd day I go to my office it absolutely wipes me out.

I'm happy for advice, but not sell your house advice!!!
Any little changes anyone has made to the grind that makes it easier

I WFH 4 days a week, some months I don't go into the office at all (July is one due to various holidays). Yes it has its plus points, no commute, gym at times that work for me so not in the evening when it's mega busy, don't have to worry about what to wear.

Downside I'm bloody lonely and can go for days without speaking to anyone (I live on my own). I miss the social side of the office but even if I did go in there's no guarantees that I'll actually speak to anyone if my team aren't in. I also end up doing way more hours than I should and not being able to switch off.

Disagree. The whole point of venting is you let out frustration.

And sometimes it’s easier to analyse a problem if you see it written down.

Also, everyone’s feedback - even if you can’t or don’t want to put it in to action - is helpful.

Realistically there doesn't seem to be much that people can say, though.

You can't work from home, you can't/won't move closer to your job and you don't want to change career or hours, so your options are pretty limited.

Chucking money at the domestic stuff could help a bit - pay for a cleaner to minimise what you both need to do around the house, sort out things like "cook" meals so that you don't need to cook etc.

It sounds like you work hard so just make sure you reward yourself by playing hard too!

have trips booked to look forward to. Doesn’t always have to be big expensive exotic holidays. Just weekend breaks here and there. Make the effort the book in spa days with your girlfriends etc.

YANBU to think his day sounds much nicer. I'm out of the house 10.5 -11 hours a day, no option for wfh ever, and earn a lot less than you. I do get long holidays though.

Yeah, I don't think the OP has engaged that much. Hence why I said 'pure' venting posts.

Yeah, but you didn’t refer to the op when you first made this comment.

Could you not stay one night a week in a city hotel to save the commute and early start ?

I am your DH in this scenario.

WFH full time, can exercise before work, or at lunchtime, walk dogs, clean, do laundry etc.

On sofa by 6pm latest watching TV.

My husband is a builder and is very jealous, but it has been this way for 25 years so he is used to it. I earn double what he earns too.

If you want this lifestyle, there are well paid jobs out there that offer it, go and find one.

Tell me more about these well paid wfh jobs....

You need a holiday!

One thing I found helped when I was in this situation was that all of my work clothes were black. Had several suits, several dresses but everything was black. That way everything matched and no one noticed what I was wearing. If on the odd occasion I broke protocol and turned up a bright red jacket or a pair of red high heels I'd get a cheer from my colleagues!

.

Customer success manager for a large software company.

7000 employees, very few are office based.

What you can do is reduce your commute. Move closer to your job.

we are in opposite roles and i WFH and hate it. i dont see anyone all day and hate being trapped in. ive gained 2 stone and miss wearing nice clothes and getting dressed up. files everywhere in dining room so always see what work need to do. i’d love to commute & have a little snooze in train and leave work in office. i really miss people interaction. the grass isn’t always greener. maybe try and WFH 1 day a week and set teams meeting up ?

My DH is retired, he’s quite a bit older, I work full time and sometimes get stressed - it’s long hours, up at 6am, not home til late, but I earn really well and enjoy it. I wouldn’t swap with him, being at home all day would drive me mad! Grass can look greener. Having a career you enjoy is a privilege. If you feel it’s too much, scale back - but for yourself, not cos you’re jealous of your DH!

I can feel your stress! You do know women don't have to wear makeup these days? Gok Wan plans his whole weeks outfits on the Sunday and hangs them up ready so every morning he just needs to get dressed. Now that sounds like a plan 🤣. I wish I could be that organized. I don't think your unreasonable to feel envious of your DH. Could you have a change of role?

Can you reduce your hours just a bit. Maybe work 4 days instead of 5 and then you'd have one day off to decompress!

It's not a dream job then is it. Change your job or stop moaning.

So why you moaning?

Wow your choice, if you dont like it change careers!