To be jealous of DH work routine?

[Notamorning]

AIBU to be jealous of DH's lifestyle? I work in the city, have an hour commute door to door each way my day is typically 12 hours out of the house daily. I'm in a client facing corporate role so little opportunity to WFH and the closest I get to dress down is black jeans and pumps on a Friday.
DH is FT WFH, unless he is travelling internationally which is once every 8 weeks post COVID.
I'm just shattered from the commute and the effort that every day seems to take, I always have to be corporate so I can't just roll out of bed and throw anything on, hair has to be done, make up etc. I'm always at the whim of public transport which will throw my day out in an instant. I'm constantly carrying my life around with me, go to the gym either morning / lunch / after work
On the flip side, DH is still in bed whilst i'm getting ready, he gets up at a reasonable time, can sleep in if he's tired or not feeling great. Can walk the dog / go to the gym when his diary allows. Throw on anything and still look presentable in front of clients. He never needs to think about multiple outfits for the next day - if I'm at an event after work for example.
When I walk in the door he's generally started dinner (which is great) so I get changed and come and help, but don't feel like I get any time through the week to switch off. We menu plan on the weekend, so he doesn't need to think what to make / just follow the list.
I get that this is corporate life, and part of what I want from my career but bloody hell what I wouldn't give to just have a few weeks of his routine for a rest!
When it gets to the weekends he wants to go out and I just want some down time as I feel like I've been 'on' all week, the last thing I want to see is the city.

Nothing wrong with venting. Vent away.

What I will advise is to put your foot down on the weekends. You need some downtime. Yes husband might be sick of seeing the same walls but if you don't get downtime, you end up burning out.

Surely you made a choice to take on this 'dream job' and career and you knew that it involves office presence?

So I think it is unfair to resent your partner being able to work from home.

As other people have said, you have other choices:

• you could get another job
• you could both agree to move closer to your workplace.

Can you drop a day and go part time?

Could you have one day a week wfh on a regular basis when you do all your phone calls and admin stuff?

Do you have a cleaner or could you get one so that's less to do once you're home? Even a robot hoover could be a slight help? What about a laundry service?

Move nearer to your work?

Is it quicker driving to work but nowhere to park/too dear to park - get your partner to drive you in and pick you up once a week perhaps with a meal out on the way home?

Who cooks? Get him to do it or order healthy takeout twice a week.

Me and my husband are the opposite and I envy his opportunity to dress up, pub lunches, actual people, social drinks.

wfh is boring AF.

id like somewhere in the middle ideally !

YABVVU to complain about something you chose. If you wanted to vent then maybe post in Chat not AIBU?
You have a well paid dream job many others like nurses , teachers etc don't WFH have long commutes and are paid a pittance.
No point in whining unless you're going to do something about it.

Is there 1 day a week you could do from home? Surely you must have admin/desk related tasks that don't require you to be on site? Or even half a day so you have one day a week where you don't have to get up at 6am?

Look at the end of the day this is the path you've chosen and sometimes it sucks but honestly if you don't want to or can't make changes then you need to be honest with dh about your feelings and that you need down time at the weekends. If he's not very understanding then maybe the problem isn't your job?

I think that if your husband didn't wfh there would be less issues with your job

didn't most of us work in an office day after day after day before Covid?

It sounds very uneven.
Can you move closer to work.
How long are you together?
Is this your future?
If it is, is it really sustainable?
Are you now supposed to fund your joint lifestyle by a 12 hour work day?
Dinner should be cooked by the time you get home, plus all household jobs.
Things need to be rejigged.
A long working week has a MASSIVE negative impact on weekend energy levels.

Awwwww I hear you. Even just the laundry, come the weekend and I’ve got five days of full outfits to sort and he’s got a couple T-shirts and a pair of jeans.

And the chat! I know he’s been alone all day and wants some interaction but I just want to stare mindlessly at the wall and think about nothing. I do feel bad for him as well cos it must be a bit lonely all week, though like yours he does have periods where he’s away and seeing people.

Theres sod all you can do about it, I think of it as an investment in later life cos the money is good and it’s a good job, and lots of people do the same as we do - I’m sure he envies me sometimes in a ‘grass is greener’ way as well. But it is tough sometimes!

OP's job would still be the same even if her husband worked in an office, though.

And lots of people have always worked from home or done hybrid work.

The simple answer is that YABVU. Them's the breaks - you have your dream job, but sometimes the dream has nightmare bits!
It doesn't help to see your nearest and dearest seemingly having a ball, but this is just a blip! if the sun came out, 6am is a perfect time of day!
It will pass

Can you move closer to your job to reduce your commute?

What an entitled and very much upper class whinge.

Spare a thought for 90% of the rest of the world slaving away in physical jobs for peanuts. Lots in the UK are doing night shifts and weekends for minimum wage and hard physical jobs with no hope of any progression. Meanwhile you get to swan in to the city in your very high paid dream job, and have the gall to moan about it because you have to get up early. Get a grip.

It's not his job to compensate for her choosing a job with a long commute and lots of evening events.

If it makes you feel better, my DH also works from home full time, has long lunch breaks, works fewer hours than me, has much more flexibility.......and earns 4 times as much as I do.

Laundrywise, when I used to work in the office, I swapped outfits daily but then I'd re wear one of the combinations unless I got them really dirty i.e. food down them on a second day, i.e. Monday and Wednesday. Things got easier when I decided to work compressed hours and I took a day off on a Thursday.

I'd be bored WFH full time. Use some AL and take one day off at the end of the month over the summer and have it to yourself. That's what it's for. Get some gym stuff for home so you can cut that out?

Changing jobs isn't an option, I've recently landed my 'dream' job so I'm not going anywhere, I love the work, the industry, my salary. I just like not to get up at 6am everyday.
That's not your dream job then as it requires you to get up early and never work from home. You may enjoy the actual work but this is not your 'dream' job.

Could you learn to drive and get a car? Then you wouldn't have to rely on public transport and carry everything everywhere.

That's the trade-off OP.

Use it as the stepping stone that it is and you will reap the rewards later.

It will come to an end and your next dream job will be that which you wish for.

In the meantime, plan your rest and downtime so it is religiously factored in to your week.

I work from home part time and couldn't go back into an office again. It's absolutely draining so I get where you're coming from.
I don't love what I do but I literally stay in the role because I love the benefits of working from home!

Move closer to work.

Why don’t you move closer to your work? My friends who work in jobs like yours all live close (walking distance) to work so there is no issue with public transport. Honestly, that’s the solution.

I take it you don’t have DC so you don’t have to think about schools.

And before you add oh DH loves our house - my friend moved from a large house to an apartment to reduce her husband’s commute and said it improved everyone’s life.

That’s true, I do sometimes get away with a rewear on trousers and always on cardies but I’m a messy bugger, so tend to fail on the rest!