Wearing a skimpy bikini around teenage son

[Behappyandbehave]

I'm late 40's and have recently lost alot of weight. I have treated myself to some new bikinis for an upcoming beach holiday and some are thong styles. I did originally buy the thong ones for when me and DH go away later in the year alone. But every holiday I go on abroad there is so many people younger and older than me showing all their bums! When I was a teen it was rare, but not anymore. Just not sure I'm brave enough or if it would be a massive no with adult/teen children! Wwyd?

Personally I think they’re ghastly but it’s certainly not going to damage your son.

I’m in Portugal right now and was shocked to see that thong bikinis are everywhere, they are definitely ‘in vogue’ here - all shapes and sizes. So it might depend where you are going. Congratulations on your weight loss and wear whatever you feel good in.

Do exactly what you want but not in front of your kids

"Unless it's smooth and youthful" that's gross 🤢
Either everyone can wear them, or everyone can't. Don't be a disgusting ageist sleaze about it.

Do you spend a lot of your time trying to shame women?

On the continent people wear what they like and kids/teens don’t bat an eyelid at their mums wearing a thong or going topless. British people, however…

How do you know the kids aren't internally cringing but feel there's no point saying anything because it's so normalised?

As she hasn't said otherwise I'm assuming the OP and her son are British so what happens in families 'on the continent' is moot when it comes to how embarrassed or not a teen from the UK may be. There really is no inate superiority in things done by people in other parts of Europe, or in choosing to wear a thong over not. Personally it all seems a bit emperors new clothes to me. British women you too can be as liberated, cool and progressive as your sisters on the continent! Cast off your prudery and wear this! But..but..isn't it just going round with a bare arse? Ssh. Don't tell them that.

This thread has given me some good chuckles! I’m constantly tugging at my swimsuit to make sure my cheeks are properly hidden - can’t imagine how mortified I’d feel in a thong! Good for you having the body confidence. Not sure about the teenage son, you should ask him. I’m sure mine wouldn’t have noticed.

If it's normalised whywould they be cringing?

@5128gap

As she hasn't said otherwise I'm assuming the OP and her son are British so what happens in families 'on the continent' is moot when it comes to how embarrassed or not a teen from the UK may be. There really is no inate superiority in things done by people in other parts of Europe, or in choosing to wear a thong over not. Personally it all seems a bit emperors new clothes to me. British women you too can be as liberated, cool and progressive as your sisters on the continent! Cast off your prudery and wear this! But..but..isn't it just going round with a bare arse? Ssh. Don't tell them that.
I don't know about you, maybe you only holiday in the UK. But many of us are holidaying in those same countries where the bum comfortable people are. Thats our normal experience of beach holidays. Why would our dc think it was odd just because they are British. They've grown up with this as the norm.
It's not like these caaraaazeee foreigners are relaxed about bum revealing because they walk around town wearing thongs. They wear them on the beaches. The same beaches we are going to. So our dc are experiencing the same exposure as there's.

When in countries where it would be unacceptable then don't do it.

You have some peculiar issues with people feeling relaxed about their bodies. You have to reframe it that they are trying to be something or project something. We aren't. We are just hanging out around the pool minding our own business not judging anyone.
Unlike you apparently

If it's normalised whywould they be cringing?

Just because something is normalised by a majority doesn't necessarily mean everyone concerned is comfortable with it.

My friend is in Greece ar the moment, thong bikinis everywhere.

If your son is used to seeing you in your underwear at home, it won't bother him outside the house too. Do whatever you feel comfortable with.

How do you know the kids aren't internally cringing but feel there's no point saying anything because it's so normalised? Because I live there and people are more relaxed about bodies and showing skin.

You have some peculiar issues with people feeling relaxed about their bodies. You have to reframe it that they are trying to be something or project something. We aren't. We are just hanging out around the pool minding our own business not judging anyone. Unlike you apparently Exactly this. I live in Spain and we have loads of Germans, Swedish etc here too and they are relaxed about their bodies too. No one thinks anything of what anyone else if wearing on the beach. Spanish guys generally wear speedo type pants too.

If you want your teenage son to stay indoors the whole time you are wearing one, then go ahead lol

Don't be silly. There's nothing I've written in any post on this thread that suggests I have 'peculiar issues' with people being relaxed about their bodies. Or that I sit around judging people in thong bikinis. I've not said a word in judgement of thongs, for or against. I've commented only on the views and opinions expressed on the the thread and on the question asked by the OP. So please dont invent things to attribute to me.
There is nothing I'd like more than to think women were relaxed about their bodies. But there's very little on this thread that speaks to me of that, for all the talk of it. The OP herself is considering a thong only because her body now fits her idea of acceptable for it. We've had multiple posts from people about whether they look good, on what age group and body type. People telling us about their great arses. Other people telling us about other people's horrible ones, people calling those who don't like them prudes and saying they'll be in a 5% minority if they don't wear them (completely untrue!) and several people conflating swimwear choice with strength and independence. I haven't framed bikini choice as a statement, or said anything to suggest people shouldnt be relaxed. several people have, so perhaps address your comments to them.

I think for sunbathing it’s fine. But I would definitely wear shorts/sarong or something when I got up offf the sunbed. I have two teens, one of each. My only concern would be the comfort factor so I tend to wear normal bottoms and just pull them over a bit if sunbathing on my front.

Go ahead and wear your bikini, once your at the beach, your son will have other things on his mind besides his Mom's bum. If he's like my teen the only time he comes near me on the beach is to ask for snack money.

I really don't understand why any one would want to wear one. It can't be for comfort so its got to be about wanting people to look at you. I just wonder if the people who wear them think they look sexy, far from it.

No I think you are thong to do that.

He may have a hard time talking to you for some time after, not fair. He’s a teenage boy, and a boy, your boy, you’re his only mum, let him know you’re still his mum, he will still need his mum in the next 5/7/10 years and that holiday burnt in his teen brain might singe him from feeling your his safe space.….might!

Save thong for adult holiday.

Besides you’d like to see your son on your family holiday wouldn’t you?

YABabsolutlyThong!

@5128gap

I haven't framed bikini choice as a statement,

And also

Personally it all seems a bit emperors new clothes to me. British women you too can be as liberated, cool and progressive as your sisters on the continent! Cast off your prudery and wear this!

Sounds awfully like you are framing bikini choice as a statement 😶

Having something stuffed up your crack is not a good look.

40s - wouldn't wear a thong bikini just because I think having anything stuck between my arse cheeks is bloody uncomfortable. Its bad enough when standard ones ride up there!

That's because you're mistaking my comment about the views expressed on the thread for a comment about people in thongs. The views from many on here seem to be that there is a divide between the relaxed, body confident, progressive thong wearers and the prudish, repressed, jealous, provincial people who don't like them. I'm saying it's a nonsense. Some women in thongs will be relaxed and comfortable. Some will be highly self conscious. Some women who are covered up will be very happy with their bodies. Others will be insecure. The ones who are genuinely independent, relaxed and confident will probably not give a thought to what they're wearing as long as its comfortable, because they'll be more concerned with enjoying themselves than what they look like. If that's you, good for you.