Wearing a skimpy bikini around teenage son

[Behappyandbehave]

I'm late 40's and have recently lost alot of weight. I have treated myself to some new bikinis for an upcoming beach holiday and some are thong styles. I did originally buy the thong ones for when me and DH go away later in the year alone. But every holiday I go on abroad there is so many people younger and older than me showing all their bums! When I was a teen it was rare, but not anymore. Just not sure I'm brave enough or if it would be a massive no with adult/teen children! Wwyd?

I’m almost 40 and I’ve just bought a high waist big pant style bikini because I have teenage boys. They would be mortified if I had a skimpy thong on 🤷🏻‍♀️

Yes! Thank you for being a voice of common sense and especially for this line:
It’s OK to feel attractive and to be a mother. The two are not mutually exclusive.

I'm perplexed by how people basically state it's either or thing or another and you can't be both at once. What a ridiculous thread.

Well we are naturists, including our teenage son, so we are all used to seeing each other naked on the beach, not a problem, but I wouldn't wear a thong in public as it seems really sexualised (and ugly and uncomfortable). Either full bum-covering swimsuit for textile beaches, or nothing for the FKK beaches. Nothing in between!

I grew up in a culture where women are more covered, though not full body covering. I didn't like it and now wear what I want. But I am just as alarmed at the way women are now expected to display themselves constantly and shoot themselves full of plastic to be attractive. While the men can be comfy and natural, for want of a better phrase. I am not keen on either end of the spectrum. Moderation in all things for me.

But the OP has stated this is not the case! We are talking a little cheeky here.

The other issue is should teens be the ones to police their parents?

I know the official answer is probably "why on earth wouldn't you? There's nothing inherently sexual about an item of clothing (even if it's extremely uncomfortable, and designed purely for the male gaze) and everyone who thinks it might make the teenager uncomfortable is a paedo for even thinking such a sexualised thought about an under 18"

My actual answer is that there is absolutely zero chance that I would subject my poor teenagers to that!

But I think we should have respect for our teenage children and take their feelings into consideration. Very few teenage boys would be happy to be in a public place with their mum showing her bum!

@Behappyandbehave have you tried a bikini on in a changing room under those lights that show every single dimple?? If you can pass that at 40 + and after losing weight, then go ahead! Sod what everyone else says

Parents try and control what teenagers wear

The class comments? 😁 the nastiest replies do not contain one speck of class so we will just bob that to one side.
The 'nobody has a good body after 40'? Women who look after themselves do. Women who naturally have good bodies do and there's lots of them around.
Thats by the by though because even if all of that were true... and? This is the difference between people who are insecure as well as judgemental and people that aren't. It just would not occur to me to worry about what ANYONE thought of me when I'm by a pool or on a beach. Its hot, I will be in and out of the water so I wear a bikini or a one piece, whatever i fancy. That's it. I can't imagine how awful it must be to be so self conscious that it makes you uncomfortable, even on holiday, but the answer isn't slating other women who don't care (not you but a lot of the replies on here).
Have you never been on a beach in another country and seen women of all ages and sizes from said country not giving a shit? It's a lovely thing.
Oh and I wouldn't personally wear a thong bikini, I don't wear thongs. My underwear comes to my belly button these days, so comfy. I just do not take it personally that another woman does choose to wear a thong bikini, go topless or whatever as long as the vajajay is covered. That's my line in the sand.

You can be both at once, but there's a time and a place.

I wouldn't purposely embarrass my child in the name of "body confidence" I think that's quite dismissive and selfish.

If it was completely normal to wear a tutu to a wedding then this analogy might work, but it doesn't because no-one wears a tutu to a wedding, but plenty of people wear bikinis on the beach and it shouldn't be age or body shape dependent.

I wouldn´t wear a thong bikini full stop. Not even as a teen. Don´t wear thong underwear either, never have. Massively uncomfortable.

This. It's not fair. If you are asking the question, why are you even considering it? Why does you showing off your body to a bunch of strangers trump how your kids feel?

Save the thong for the other holiday and grab a cheap one with more coverage.

Gross. No one wants to see that much of a 40 odd year old.

Looking attractive and wearing a thong are mutually exclusive in my view.

Hate this fashion. Dh and I anc have this issue but in reverse. I was internally judging a woman wearing one on holiday last year thinking it must be an Italian thing them lo and behold then my own two teens walk out wearing if anything even worse bikinis. Roll on the end of the bum emphasising fashion

Hahaha, sorry, the teen thing made me laugh!

The OP isn't wearing the thong because she's a strong minded woman though, is she? She's wearing it because her weight loss has achieved a body that she believes makes it acceptable and makes her sexually appealing. If she was confident and body positive she'd have been wearing whatever she liked fat or thin, and would likely make her choice based on comfort and what she liked to look at. I mean, without a two way mirror she won't even benefit from the sight of her own bare arse. It's quite clearly a look designed for the spectator not the wearer.

Not that there's anything wrong in women showing off their bodies if they choose, but its a bit daft to try and frame it as an act of empowerment. I'm sure her sons would survive the embarrassment but pretending it's in their interests because she's role modelling something positive is a big stretch. As is the thinking that because we're not responsible for the feelings of others we have a green light to show them no consideration.

Thong bikinis are really tacky - why would you want your arse cheeks on display? Your son will be so embarrassed ... or pop a boner. Don't do it.

I am beginning to be very suspicious of this neo-liberal Western mindset that women showing as much of their bodies as possible is women's empowerment. If so, why are the men not doing it? Why is Kanye West wearing huge baggy clothes while dragging his wife around in a thong?

It's not "people" wearing them though. It's Women. I personally think they look awful but if you want to wear one go ahead. I'm not "shaming other women" or "pulling them down" but I am for equality. People can only buy what's available to them, unless they can make their own beachwear. My point is, why aren't these thongs designed and produced for men? they must be desperate to wear them too.

Same here, my parents thought it was perfectly acceptable, they would have said I was fine with it, I wasn't, I wasn't given the choice. I was very aware that my friends parents didn't walk around naked.
That was back in the 1960-70's even now I cringe at the thought of it.

Get one for your DH too, for your ‘grown up’ holiday

This, 100%. Why aren’t men wearing this crap?

I don’t want to see men in them either (or those things Borat wears). It’s not sexist to not want to see anyone’s arse in public.

I do agree though that’s it’s nearly always women who want everything on show and not men. This goes for pop stars too. Why?