Wearing a skimpy bikini around teenage son

[Behappyandbehave]

I'm late 40's and have recently lost alot of weight. I have treated myself to some new bikinis for an upcoming beach holiday and some are thong styles. I did originally buy the thong ones for when me and DH go away later in the year alone. But every holiday I go on abroad there is so many people younger and older than me showing all their bums! When I was a teen it was rare, but not anymore. Just not sure I'm brave enough or if it would be a massive no with adult/teen children! Wwyd?

I agree with this. It comes directly from porn culture. Why on earth take your inspiration from that?

My mum went topless every family holiday as did most people in the med where we holidayed.

We survived including my teen brother.

Obviously your DS has the choice to take himself elsewhere if he's uncomfortable but it's your body.

My parents did this in front of me and my 2 younger brothers well into our teens in the 70s. Believe me the ' cool with our bodies' thing is not having the effect you think it is. My father used to walk around the garden in the tiniest pants he could . He made them himself because he couldn't buy them in the shops.He had a sunbathing-naked area in the garden. We used to shout loudly that we were coming into the garden so he'd cover his genitals. It's the same as when you realise your forty-something parents are having sex. They're just things that teens don't want to know or see.

My boys would scream murder if I put a thong on. Seriously can't you just take pride on your own and not go flaunting your bum. I get quite disgusted with seeing all those bums out and I think Im not the only one. It screams "look at me" and at 40 I think you should have passed that stage. And I'm not jeallous, I "could" get away with wearing one as I'm fit but I would not want to 1. Embarass my children 2. Having men looking at my bum 3. Making other people uncomfortable who might not fancy seeing a bum while eating their ice cream.

Your dad made his own pants? 😂

Wow, this thread is nasty.
So glad I spent most of my youth experiencing other cultures & didn't get so hung up on the cut of a bikini.
What would all these people say if a man was making these comments about his partner?
Everyone bring so judgemental, critical etc. seriously
Wear what you feel comfortable in, wear what makes you feel good, enjoy feeling good about yourself

The Love Island women are chosen for the programme because they look a certain way ( and are all early 20s and undamaged by the ravages of pregnancy). Sadly in real life the women wearing thong bikinis and those scrunch bum leggings tend to have the flat, dropped bum of normal people. That never looks quite so good in a ' LOOK AT MY BUUUUUUM' kind of way.

He did. My childhood was.....different 😂

Going against the grain here: Wear the thong! Or wear whatever you like. It’s your body.

People will judge (as is made abundantly clear in this thread). Let them.

Teenagers are likely to feel embarrassed about pretty much whatever you do. Let them.

It’s not your job to regulate other people’s feelings.

You’ll be showing your teen that you are strong minded, sure of yourself and body confident. These are great qualities to embody and role model.

It’s OK to feel attractive and to be a mother. The two are not mutually exclusive.

And, as an aside, just return from SE Asia where the vast majority of people of all ages were wearing thongs. Most people just don’t care (unlike on MN!!)

How closely are you looking at these people's bums?

Your teen will find something to be embarrassed about whatever you do. Wear the thong.
I did it a few years ago, dd wasn’t a teen, and she shouted ‘MUMMMMEEEEEEEEE. I CAN SEE YOUR BOTTOM’. I think, on the whole, I’d prefer silent disapproval’ 🤣🤣

I agree they look awful. Why are we seeing more and more of women's bodies and less and less of men's, swimming shorts for men longer than ever. Same goes for those awful stretch nude legging things girls and women are wearing. Labia, celluite all clearly visible. Who's designing all this garbage?

Maybe a slight deviation. I am one of 2 sisters, now in my 40s. When l was a teen, mum regularly went topless at the beach.

Oh come off it. Nobody has a 'good body' after 40. Nature sees to that. Connective tissue and collegen are decreasing, few bits are tight.

This isn't true, although admittedly it can take more work.
I'm a Caroline Girvan adherent and on her fb group, and some of the bodies of women in their forties, fifties and beyond are absolutely amazing.

And thinking about it, most people with good bodies will definitely still have them at 40, that is well before the menopause stuff for most.

True though

People are getting bigger at the sane time as clothes are getting smaller, tighter, stretcher and more transparent. As they say " Just because you can, doesn't mean you should '

I wondered that too. I've seen loads of women wearing thongs and have never looked closely enough to see if they've wiped their bum properly!

i feel the same way about this the way I do about Muslim women and full body covering and the niqab. I’ve heard ( Western converts) talk angrily about it being their choice and no one should object to that. But it’s not about it being your choice. It’s about it being a choice presented to women than is not presented to men. When I am on the beach and I see the young men in their cool, loose, comfy baggy short and then the young women in their ridiculous tight, tiny, barely covering their genitals and not covering their arse, barely bikinis, that look they look uncomfortable and incredibly self conscious in, I think ‘nah that’s not equality’.

Even if you are really slim in your 40s I still don't think you can pull off like the 20s year old can! In front of your Son too. I won't repeat what others have said...

I can't get over some of these responses 😂

All these women shaming another woman, saying it would look awful/not classy/not flattering - are.we.not supposed to be lifting each other up not pulling us down.

I suspect most people pulling you down over this have issues with themselves and are projecting.

It is your body and you can choose how to adorn it (clothes, accessories, etc).

I hope what you choose is based on your decision and not a bunch of strangers on the Internet.

Enjoy your holiday!

I wouldn't. For one thing my own weight loss at a similar age to you left me with skin that needs a bigger bikini not a smaller one! For another, my DSs get upset and uncomfortable when I get attention from creepy men. They hate the looks and comments and disrespect of the sleezy individuals out there, feeling constantly they need to say something, and I wouldn't put showing my bum 'on principle', ahead of them being able to relax on holiday.

I’m strongly in the “wear whatever the hell you want” camp. However, I see your argument @ghostlyliving and it’s a point well made. And, imo, a stronger argument than many of the ageist, misogynistic comments so far.

Wow I wasn't expecting quite so many answers.....that's me told! Just to clarify, I will not be wearing it for my holiday with the kids. But I will with just me and DH as it's a private rental so nobody else will be traumatised by seeing my old, saggy bum. Oh and when I say thong, I don't mean a g string, it's more like 3/4 of my bum showing so not properly up my arse!!
I am genuinely shocked by the hate for them on here as every single country I've visited in the last 3 - 4 years for a beach holiday I would say about 70% of people wear them. It kind of makes me feel unusual for having a full bikini bottom!
Several women would go into the beach restaurant wearing them too on a a daily basis. Which I do admit I never would do that.

So if someone is genuinely asking for advice on a look, if people disagree with the look they had issues

So if someone said 'I am going to a wedding I want to wear a tutu' people are only allowed to say 'of course that is great idea you will look wonderful in anything' otherwise they have issues

So what is the point of every asking a question if the replies have to be 'sure great idea'?

I will never understand how anyone thinks it's ok to be out in public with their arsehole just "covered" with a piece of string 😦