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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Some People In Prison Shouldn’t Be Allowed Visitors.

141 replies

Molone · 09/07/2024 20:42

Tonight I read the horrific story of a baby and his aunt being killed in a drink/driving incident.
Today the driver was sentenced to 17 years. While he will still be allowed to see his family weekly for visits, this poor mother will never hold her baby or see her sister again. What happened to them was horrific.

Why should he be allowed to see his loved ones when he has deprived her of the same? He should be locked up to serve his sentence alone and so should all the other killers of a similar nature.

OP posts:
combinationpadlock · 09/07/2024 20:44

well, he wont be allowed weekly visits, and he will one day come out, and if you treat him as an animal, he will behave like one

TowerRavenSeven · 09/07/2024 20:44

Yabu. Two wrongs do not make a right.

OhHelloMiss · 09/07/2024 20:44

No you are wrong

Sorry but patrolling the landings is dangerous enough.... depriving someone of their rights will only create more tension

Happy to have more staff assaults are you?

FastFood · 09/07/2024 20:45

Because his loved ones are not responsible for what happened and they may want to see him as well.
And prisons are not going to get any better if inmates are treated like animals.

OhHelloMiss · 09/07/2024 20:45

Also,.....the visits are very much for the family left to pick up the pieces. Kids benefit from seeing their dads at visits....elderly family etc

Families don't deserve punishment

pointythings · 09/07/2024 20:53

We don't punish the relatives of people who commit crimes is why.

Crispysheets · 09/07/2024 20:53

OhHelloMiss · 09/07/2024 20:45

Also,.....the visits are very much for the family left to pick up the pieces. Kids benefit from seeing their dads at visits....elderly family etc

Families don't deserve punishment

Kids benefit from seeing criminals in prison……why? …... because they are great role models for the next generation?? I don’t believe kids benefit from visiting prisons.

Also the families of the victims are punished every single day of their lives. They really haven’t done anything wrong.

Julyshouldbesunny · 09/07/2024 20:54

Surely better he has reminders of what he is missing?

OhHelloMiss · 09/07/2024 20:55

Yes kids do benefit

It's their dad and they still love him. There may be restrictions, depends on the crime.

Reugny · 09/07/2024 20:57

Crispysheets · 09/07/2024 20:53

Kids benefit from seeing criminals in prison……why? …... because they are great role models for the next generation?? I don’t believe kids benefit from visiting prisons.

Also the families of the victims are punished every single day of their lives. They really haven’t done anything wrong.

Show quote history

They need to know where their parent has gone.

They are screwed up enough with their parent suddenly leaving and depending on their age, conversations over their head about what has been happening. They also need to know why lots of people are avoiding them while a minority are being extra nice to them.

whathasitgottodowiththepriceofoliveoil · 09/07/2024 20:59

Probably stops a lot of them killing themselves

Lifeisamysterytome · 09/07/2024 21:00

I was reading this story earlier today. It's not often I'm moved to tears by a news story but this made me cry . Beautiful beautiful wee baby that his mum had to pick up dead from the side of the road. And his aunt had every bone in her body broken.

The driver showed no remorse.

It said he was returning from a holiday when the accident happened and that his wife actually left him when they were on holiday. She returned home earlier because of his behaviour. So with any luck no body will want to visit him in prison anyway.

NeomDiffuser · 09/07/2024 21:03

FastFood · 09/07/2024 20:45

Because his loved ones are not responsible for what happened and they may want to see him as well.
And prisons are not going to get any better if inmates are treated like animals.

He is an animal

Lavender14 · 09/07/2024 21:03

Yabu. Their family may still want to see them - why shouldn't they be able to. They haven't done anything wrong and they deserve the choice to continue a relationship with the person in prison or not. Plus as others have stated there is still a duty of care to prisoners and connection with family etc is important for mental health but also for building good networks for successful rehabilitation if they are getting out eventually and reducing the risk of reoffending.

TonTonMacoute · 09/07/2024 21:03

From what I read the only person who will be visiting that low life in prison will be his wife's divorce lawyer.

Crispysheets · 09/07/2024 21:04

Reugny · 09/07/2024 20:57

They need to know where their parent has gone.

They are screwed up enough with their parent suddenly leaving and depending on their age, conversations over their head about what has been happening. They also need to know why lots of people are avoiding them while a minority are being extra nice to them.

Show quote history

They will end up even more screwed up with a parent like that remaining in their lives.
People go No contact with family for far less.

AzureAnt · 09/07/2024 21:10

Maybe his family won't want to visit him

whathasitgottodowiththepriceofoliveoil · 09/07/2024 21:12

NeomDiffuser · 09/07/2024 21:03

He is an animal

Show quote history

He's not. You're trying to distance him from the human race but like it or not he's one of us and walked among us.

3kids3dogs · 09/07/2024 21:16

He deserves to rot without speaking to another soul as long as he lives. He shouldn’t have any rights. 17 years shows what a joke the system is.

That poor woman having to pick up her baby from the road, makes me cry to think of it.

AzureAnt · 09/07/2024 21:19

NeomDiffuser · 09/07/2024 21:03

He is an animal

Show quote history

I hate it when violent nasty humans are called animals. Animals don't behave like that and most of them only kill to survive

whathasitgottodowiththepriceofoliveoil · 09/07/2024 21:20

3kids3dogs · 09/07/2024 21:16

He deserves to rot without speaking to another soul as long as he lives. He shouldn’t have any rights. 17 years shows what a joke the system is.

That poor woman having to pick up her baby from the road, makes me cry to think of it.

That was so harrowing. I really do feel for her.

sprigatito · 09/07/2024 21:22

The incarceration is the punishment. Once in prison, it's important to have a) good human rights practices, because they are a basic tenet of a civilised society, and b) a system of privileges which can be enhanced or revoked according to the prisoner's conduct and engagement with rehabilitation. A prisoner with nothing to lose is a dangerous prisoner.

PassingStranger · 09/07/2024 21:29

There's an vile one that's coming up for trial in the Summer.
A 33 year old in February this year was speeding in a stolen car.
He killed two women and a 6 year old boy.
He had some minor injurias but lived. Always the way isn't it?
Horrible selfish people around.
I don't know how they live with themselves.

Original poster
Molone · 09/07/2024 21:32

I don’t have much time for the argument that his family will suffer, he should have thought of that before he broke someone else’s. Why should the victims family live in hell and his carry on as normal?
He shouldn’t ever be released, 17 years isn’t nearly long enough.

OP posts:
Lilly11a · 09/07/2024 21:33

Because

  1. If you take away all incentives for good behaviour, prisoners become unmanageable and you put prison staff at risk .
  2. if you isolate someone from society how do you expect them to reintegrate into it?
  3. Calling someone one an animal is othering and that's a dangerous path to start down( slightly more controversial).
  4. Look at the inference of how he has behaved if his wife left the holiday early ( presumably they had a functional relationship previously)because of his behaviour and then he is drinking and driving dangerously, that doesn't suggest someone at peace with themselves and happy ( more controversial). I suspect mental health issues rather then just a bad person