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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Some People In Prison Shouldn’t Be Allowed Visitors.

141 replies

Molone · 09/07/2024 20:42

Tonight I read the horrific story of a baby and his aunt being killed in a drink/driving incident.
Today the driver was sentenced to 17 years. While he will still be allowed to see his family weekly for visits, this poor mother will never hold her baby or see her sister again. What happened to them was horrific.

Why should he be allowed to see his loved ones when he has deprived her of the same? He should be locked up to serve his sentence alone and so should all the other killers of a similar nature.

OP posts:
OhHelloMiss · 10/07/2024 02:19

OonaStubbs · 10/07/2024 02:00

Just keep them locked in cells. That way they can't misbehave or harm prison staff.

What about their cellmate? And IMB?

PeloMom · 10/07/2024 02:24

whathasitgottodowiththepriceofoliveoil · 09/07/2024 20:59

Probably stops a lot of them killing themselves

Is it really a loss if a person like that driver does so? A child was robbed of childhood, another person is dead and a mother has to live without her child.

DreamTheMoors · 10/07/2024 02:29

NeomDiffuser · 09/07/2024 21:03

He is an animal

Show me one animal that drinks and drives.

SitBackAndRewind · 10/07/2024 02:33

I was in an accident before Christmas. The man was on drugs, and he basically steered into me. At the time of the accident he had no license or insurance as he was awaiting a court hearing for other drug driving offences. Apparently you can still drive whilst you are waiting for your trial.

I’m still recovering from my physical injuries, but mentally I was shot because it prays on my mind that it’s only a matter of time before he kills someone.

YANBU, they don’t deserve any nice things. The criminal who caused my accident will get a one year ban apparently.

ClawedUkelele · 10/07/2024 04:56

It's an awful story but withholding visitations for the whole of a prisoner's sentence benefits absolutely nobody.

Like it or not, most prisoners will re-enter society; would you rather that efforts are made to rehabilitate them first, or would you prefer that a concerned effort is made to destroy their mental health?

Butchyrestingface · 10/07/2024 05:17

He’s a remorseless cunt and his sentence is inadequate. I hope - but doubt - his driving licence has been removed forever. He should lose the right to drive ever again.

But no, I don’t agree with no visitors. His punishment is the removal of his freedom for (hopefully) at least 17 years. That is no mean thing. We are not savages and should not behave as such towards those in our prison systems.

This man will one day get out and it is important to help maintain some kind of order whilst he’s in prison that he believes he has something to get out FOR - the preservation of familial bonds can be a strong feature in this. Not sure I’d want to see him myself, but if his family do, then they should not be impeded.

Chatterbox98 · 10/07/2024 05:49

Utter scum who will hopefully have a tough time inside while guards aren’t looking. However no visitors would mean when he released no relationships so what would he/it do? Reoffend? Commit more crime to survive?
I am utterly with you OP he needs to be punished and his hideous crime should have dire consequences but long term no visitors would be worse for society and the guards who have to look after this poor excuses of a human.

whathasitgottodowiththepriceofoliveoil · 10/07/2024 06:26

CheeseWisely · 09/07/2024 22:47

First of all, has the OP never made a mistake?

A mistake is leaving the iron on, overstaying the parking you've paid for or putting a red sock in with the whites.

Getting 3 times the drink drive limit and going at double the speed limit while using your phone is not a 'mistake' for fucks sake. It's a deliberate act. 3 deliberate acts added together.

The comment in this thread about not 'othering' him is the most ridiculous thing in a crowded field of ridiculous things I've ever read here. God forbid his feels get all hurty eh?

It's not about his feelings. I don't care about his feelings. But saying he isn't human is wrong. He is. Unfortunately this is an act carried out by a human. He isn't something else. There's no point trying to distance him from the rest of us in that way. It won't help prevent it ever happening again or looking at what behaviours caused him to do this by waving it off as the act of an "animal" or a "monster"

OonaStubbs · 10/07/2024 07:49

He is a failed human.

StMarieforme · 10/07/2024 08:01

sprigatito · 09/07/2024 21:22

The incarceration is the punishment. Once in prison, it's important to have a) good human rights practices, because they are a basic tenet of a civilised society, and b) a system of privileges which can be enhanced or revoked according to the prisoner's conduct and engagement with rehabilitation. A prisoner with nothing to lose is a dangerous prisoner.

Exactly. Once you start to do any differently, society is on its way to being totally inhumane.

StMarieforme · 10/07/2024 08:03

Molone · 09/07/2024 21:32

I don’t have much time for the argument that his family will suffer, he should have thought of that before he broke someone else’s. Why should the victims family live in hell and his carry on as normal?
He shouldn’t ever be released, 17 years isn’t nearly long enough.

Why should they be punished?
I knew a woman whose husband murdered his stepmother. It was gruesome and grisly. Her life, and that of her teenage daughter, were ruined forever. The rumours and lies that surrounded them were appalling. Should they be collateral damage for his actions too? Why?

KimberleyClark · 10/07/2024 08:03

StMarieforme · 10/07/2024 08:01

Exactly. Once you start to do any differently, society is on its way to being totally inhumane.

I agree, but some people think making prisons as nasty and inhumane as possible will deter criminals. It doesn’t it just makes them more determined not to get caught.

TheFairyCaravan · 10/07/2024 08:09

Chatterbox98 · 10/07/2024 05:49

Utter scum who will hopefully have a tough time inside while guards aren’t looking. However no visitors would mean when he released no relationships so what would he/it do? Reoffend? Commit more crime to survive?
I am utterly with you OP he needs to be punished and his hideous crime should have dire consequences but long term no visitors would be worse for society and the guards who have to look after this poor excuses of a human.

Edited

He’s already got 10 convictions behind him, before this one, including drink driving, battery, and assaulting an emergency worker. He’d been warned about his driving, whilst in Sheffield, a week before he killed these two innocent people. He will probably reoffend anyway.

Hasbean2 · 10/07/2024 08:36

With prisons you have two options

  1. worry about re offending, and reducing crime rates/ keeping society safer

2)worry about punishing/ making sure that crime is severely punished and a strong message is put out, and a strong deterrent.

Generally it's proven that strong punishments eg life long imprisonment and death penalties don't improve offending rates

The system we have is based on criminals re entering society at some point and we have to equip them

Having worked within the system myself I've seen prison stays that have completely increased the risk to society. For example someone one goes in, loses their job, loses their accommodation, loses touch with relatives, is linked out of the benefits system, develops an addiction, loses touch with general society and is totally overwhelmed by life. They immediately leave have no accommodation, no support, potentially no money and re offend because either they want back in or because they feel they have no choice.

In reoffending you hope that it's breaking into a garden shed or something but often it's crimes with a real impact on a victim

You also have to weigh up the ability of being able to manage people in prison. The latest stats for example show there were more incidences of self harm in prisons then there were prisoners, that the suicide rate is high, and the assault rate on staff is high

People with nothing to lose are aggressive, and difficult to manage.

Chatterbox98 · 10/07/2024 09:12

TheFairyCaravan · 10/07/2024 08:09

He’s already got 10 convictions behind him, before this one, including drink driving, battery, and assaulting an emergency worker. He’d been warned about his driving, whilst in Sheffield, a week before he killed these two innocent people. He will probably reoffend anyway.

Edited

Didn’t know this, I have no words. How 17 years (likely will end up less) is justice I will never know. The past offences should be considered in my opinion he clearly hasn’t learnt or been rehabilitated.

My heart breaks for the family involved, I read the report after seeing this post hard to believe such evil exists 😔

Nolongera · 10/07/2024 09:53

He won't do 17 years in prison, it's normally half, so 8.5 years, I know in some cases it's 2/3 but I can't work out if his conviction meet the criteria for that.

This is built into our prison sentencing rules.

Don't imagine " prison justice" will work against him, that's mainly revenge fantasy bollocks.

He will spend much of his time hanging out with like minded scumbags, playing video games and watching trash TV. Probably able to get drugs too.

My work has taken me into a number of prisons, at least ten and I worked in forensic mental health.

Prisons are run on the cheap, every corner cut, keep the prisoners happy so they don't kick off.

Longma · 10/07/2024 09:54

How a country treats its criminals is a good judge in how a country treats everyone else. A civilised country will treat its criminals in a better way than an uncivilised one.

It's also not just for the benefit of the criminal. Visitation is also for the benefit of their families - children, spouse, parents, grandparents, etc.

Longma · 10/07/2024 09:57

Would you feel the same if it happened to one of yours?

This is an irrelevant question.
There are many very good reasons why the victims of crime, and those closest to them, have no say in the punishment of a criminal.

A criminal's sentence is based on legal decisions and judgements, not revenge.

JohnTheRevelator · 10/07/2024 10:02

Because the visits aren't just for his sake,they're for the sake of his family too.

dottiedodah · 10/07/2024 10:08

This is similar to a dreadful accident nearby .The driver was on cake and had been drinking as well .Hit a young Mum an her baby of 4 weeks! Managed to push baby out of the way .She had life changing injuries! Got 12 years in prison. His family are innocent though.

Longma · 10/07/2024 10:10

Nolongera · 10/07/2024 09:53

He won't do 17 years in prison, it's normally half, so 8.5 years, I know in some cases it's 2/3 but I can't work out if his conviction meet the criteria for that.

This is built into our prison sentencing rules.

Don't imagine " prison justice" will work against him, that's mainly revenge fantasy bollocks.

He will spend much of his time hanging out with like minded scumbags, playing video games and watching trash TV. Probably able to get drugs too.

My work has taken me into a number of prisons, at least ten and I worked in forensic mental health.

Prisons are run on the cheap, every corner cut, keep the prisoners happy so they don't kick off.

Due to the length of his sentence he will most likely be expected to be imprisoned for at least 2/3 of his sentence. He will then be eligible for release if he has met certain criteria, which often includes showing a level of remorse and engaging in rehabilitation programmes, usually when it's a lengthy sentence more than one prison worker will need to agree that he is ready for release on licence.

A lot of people often don't realise that our sentencing isn't just about the time spent in prison, it also includes a period of time on licence outside of prison, where they are monitored and bound by certain guidelines and rules.

Also in many crimes/sentences it isn't always automatic release after half/two thirds of a sentence.

I used to sit on early release/tag/open prison/licensing panels in my role working in a prison. The decision to release early under licence wasn't always straight forward.

Hoppinggreen · 10/07/2024 10:13

I saw this case and was horrified.
He got drunk on the plane on the way back from holiday and then drove home from the airport as speed while using his phone. I saw the footage of him being arrested and he was whining about how he was having a bad day and how he had a Business he needed to run after being told he had killed 2 people.
While I absolutely hope he rots in Hell I am not sure banning him from having visitors is appropriate even if it were possible.

PassingStranger · 10/07/2024 10:15

Scammersarescum · 09/07/2024 22:10

Locking someone up is punishment.

Whilst they are locked up they should rehabilited to rejoin society as they do in Norway which has the lowest reoffending rate. Their system is based upon humanising the offender as opposed to dehumanising them as the OP seems keen to do.

Posts like these always shock me. First of all, has the OP never made a mistake? People do and tragically the results can be horrific but none of us are perfect. There but for the grace of God and all that.

Secondly I don't feel sorry for the driver one bit, but neither do I wish him undue suffering. There's some real nastiness in the vengeful desire to utterly destroy his mental health by isolating him. I'm surprised the OP isn't suggesting lashes or electrodes.
.
The OP is advocating causing the purposeful prolonged suffering of another human whilst decrying the man who caused the prolonged suffering of other humans.

A mistake no.
A choice yes.

Made a choice to drive like that and drink.
Everyone knows it's wrong and dangerous.

Very insulting to the víctims to.mimimilise this.

You wouldn't be saying this if it were your family he killed.

PassingStranger · 10/07/2024 10:18

Choochoo21 · 09/07/2024 22:56

I understand what you’re saying.
Some people’s crimes are truly evil.

But the punishment is being in prison and having most of the freedoms taken away.

Also his parents/kids did nothing wrong and this also affects them.

There is also the prison staff who have to deal with these men and there has to be some privileges and punishments to keep them on track, else they would act worse than feral animals.

Prison staff do manage prisoners who.have whole life sentences already
It's possible

OneTC · 10/07/2024 10:19

redalex261 · 10/07/2024 01:15

Fair or not, prisoners are entitled to visits - usually monthly I think not weekly. I can see why people are aggrieved about it, but their family are not responsible for the crime and shouldn’t be punished any more. I don’t know if visits can be withdrawn if the prisoner breaks the rules? and used as an incentive to push good behaviour. Hope this can happen, I suspect visits would be one if the most important issues for most inmates.

I believe they get a set minimum (provided anyone wants to visit them) and can get extra for good behaviour

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