'You look well'

[lemoncats]

AIBU to think 'you look well' means 'you've gained weight'?

I saw a family member who I haven't seen in 3 months. I know I've gained some pounds over the past few months after having very disordered eating from stress and anxiety for 3-4 years. I've tried to avoid weighing myself at the moment as it's triggering, but I need to eat healthy and unfortunately I bounce from one extreme to another (restricted eating v eating everything in sight). I find it hard to achieve a happy medium.

Maybe I'm being over sensitive but I feel 'you look well' is saying I look like I've gained weight.

No, I genuinely think it’s just a pleasantry. This is your anxiety talking.

I’ve always taken it the same as you OP ‘you look well’ = ‘you look fatter’

No I don’t think so. I never use it that way. Usually it means you’re looking happy and have a bit of a glow about you but I think others use it as a gap filler!

Sometimes, 'You look well!' just means... you're looking well.

Rested, tanned, happy, in a nice outfit, wearing colours that suit you. I know it's hard when you have self-esteem issues, but take the compliment.

Oh no I'd say that to people who look like they've lost weight, just look good that day, have nice hair / makeup on etc. People who have a bit of a glow!

Yes , you look well = you look fat.

It’s only overweight people who think “you look well” means “you’ve gained weight”. I’ve heard it several times but it’s always people who are worried about their weight e.g. usually in a slimming world class. It genuinely means you look well, you look healthy and happy (which of course is only surface level deep but that’s a separate issue).

People have only said it to me when I've gained weight, but they do not mean I look shit.

I also say it as a compliment if someone is looking happy, relaxed, glowing etc.

A lot of people said that to me after DD came along 6 weeks early, EMCS and in the middle of moving house 😂

I took it to mean I looked well considering what I'd been through and even though I've got a newborn.

Take it as a compliment x

I am not overweight so your theory can't be correct.

No, I’ll say it if I think a person looks well in their face - like having a good colour, bright eyed etc. Won’t say if they don’t! And certainly wouldn’t as an intended or even unintended slight.

I've always thought you look well is either "you've lost weight (but I don't want to say you were fat!)" or "you've applied good makeup today"!

It 100% means you've put weight on around here.

It's unkind.

I'm not overweight either to the person who said only overweight people think that.

For people who have low self esteem and think they are overweight
You look well = you look fatter
Hello = you look fatter
Nice Day = you look fatter
Do you have the time = Obese bitch!

If you've suffered with stress and anxiety, it'll be because you don't look stressed or anxious anymore. Stress and anxiety makes people's skin pallor look dull and lifeless, undereating does the same.

It's definitely a compliment is what I've learned!

I think it means you look well, that color suits you, your make up is perfect, your hair is the most flattering I've ever seen it, are those earrings alex Monroe, is that clinique happy.... you get the picture. I think it is the other things besides weight.

I say it when people look great.

God it's like this thread is on a 3 week repeat cycle 😳😁

'You look well' means you look well.

If you're unhappy with your weight, it still doesn't change the fact it means 'you look well'.

Maybe it depends on the age of the person saying it?

Older relatives seem to use it as “you’ve gained weight” - it was DH’s grandmother’s weapon of choice.

🤣🤣🤣
I've been getting it alot recently but I'm not fat so I take it as I'm looking healthy and happy 😊

I got that from my boss today who I haven't seen for 6 months...I've lost about 3 stone since then so I hope he wasn't implying I looked fat!

It’s only overweight people who think “you look well” means “you’ve gained weight”.

Yes, absolutely this.

I often say to friends you look well and it's never been about their weight. I think you might be slightly overthinking this as you sound sensitive about your weight, understandably if its something you've been struggling with. I would take it as the compliment I'm sure it was meant as x