'You look well'

[lemoncats]

AIBU to think 'you look well' means 'you've gained weight'?

I saw a family member who I haven't seen in 3 months. I know I've gained some pounds over the past few months after having very disordered eating from stress and anxiety for 3-4 years. I've tried to avoid weighing myself at the moment as it's triggering, but I need to eat healthy and unfortunately I bounce from one extreme to another (restricted eating v eating everything in sight). I find it hard to achieve a happy medium.

Maybe I'm being over sensitive but I feel 'you look well' is saying I look like I've gained weight.

I'd just say it to anyone who looked happy and positive - for me I've always thought of it like a well-being sort of thing...

But I may need to not do that now 😂 in case I'm accidentally making someone thing they're fat.. that wouldn't even dawn on me though!

You look well = you've put on weight

You've lost weight = you've lost weight

Same here!

it literally means “you look well”. Usually, it means you you’ve lost weight because you weee overweight before and genuinely look really well! Or you’ve got lovely make up (as usually you look a bit unwell).

I definitely mean you look well! I suppose you could say I actually mean “you look well and last time I saw you, you didn’t look well”.

No it doesn't. It means you look well. I find it incredibly annoying when you say something well meaning and someone twists it.

It means you look well, as in you've lost weight or you look glowing/refreshed etc

If someone had put on most people wouldn't say anything at all. I certainly wouldn't make any comment.

Nope, I've never said it to mean that or taken it to mean that.

For me, people have only ever said it when I've lost weight so it means the opposite of how OP has taken it!

It means you look well. Fresh, glowy, vibrant.

A compliment is not a backhanded way to say you generally look lousy / fat/ scrawny whatever. It just means you're looking particularly good that day.

I really think it says more about the OP and others who think it means something nasty.

it literally means what it says!

Maybe people are just being nice, because you look well .. why does everything has to be construed until a comment about weight?.

People who love you don’t care, and people who don’t don’t notice.

I say “you look well” or “ your looking good” when I see my friends, because they are .. and it has nothing to do with weight.

Can’t believe people use ‘you look well’ to mean the person has gotten fatter…that’s so arsey. I guess I’m just naive because I would only mean it as a compliment and assume the same if said to me 😵‍💫

I’ve literally never heard of this

I always tell people they look well because they do - happy, well rested, glowing, attractive

why would I tell someone they look well if they are fatter

However I have also been told I look well after returning from mat leave - I was very happy with that. Should reconsider my reaction!

Where I'm from it means 'you've put on weight'

Wow. I tell people they look well, and mean it that they look well without an agenda!

Where I am from it also means you have put on weight

If I see a friend and they look good, I say 'You look fab/great/amazing'

I never ever say well

People have only ever said it to me when I've gained weight, but that's just my experience.

I don’t get this though

you wouldn’t tell a friend if they look bigger than normal

so why say someone looks well if they look bigger than normal

is it meant to be a bitchy comment? Or a weird type of compliment

I don’t get it

but I do say it a lot and have heard it a lot and don’t think everyone’s being horrible

No, it’s a mindless pleasantry. If anything it means the opposite, I’ve only ever said it when I’ve met someone whose lost weight and I don’t want to say outright “you’ve lost weight”.

Ah see in my case its usually your looking well shortly followed by... are you better now? I have long covid and POTS I usually smile and say nope but I'm managing it.

I've never thought of it as a smiley way to insult someone I think usually people are just trying to be nice.

For me it usually means you no longer look depressed, stressed, exhausted and am now wearing clean clothes and have brushed my hair this week ...

If my mum says it, she means I've lost weight

Goodness no! I say that when some one looks ‘well’. For example when their skin looks great.

When I’ve said it it’s because the person I’ve said it to looks good/happy/nice/well.
If anyone has said it to me it’s not because I look fat, because I’m not, so I’ve taken them at their word because that’s how I use it.

To me, “You’re looking well” is a euphemism for “You’ve gained weight.”
To those of you who think this, do you tell people who look fat that they look well? I’m assuming not, because that would be shitty. So I’m not understanding why you would think that’s what people mean when they say it to you.

I always think it means ‘you look fat’.

I take it as “you look fat” but I do think that gaining weight tends to make you look ‘well’- better skin, less wrinkles, shinier hair etc., weight gain is often the result of great holidays, eating great food etc so often the person looks well rested and happy.

In my family, it means you've got fat/could lose a few pounds. Usually directed towards me from childhood. They are generally aresholes though.

I'd assume someone outside of my family would mean it nicely but it would throw me foe a second while I processed.