Rich ‘friend’ harassing me

[Brunchclub]

A few weeks ago a ‘friend’ asked me to go for some drinks and I told him I didn’t have the money to do so. He offered to lend me some money as he really wanted to get out and enjoy the weather. I told him if I did then I couldn’t pay the money back until around the second week in July. He said this was absolutely fine.

Fast forward to last night, he asked for the money. I said I didn’t have it until when I had stated, he had 2 more of his friends (also male btw) message me throughout the evening claiming he needed the money to be able to eat and I was being unfair.

This morning somebody I know told me they saw him out watching the England game and was out until 4am. He owns his house, paid for by his parents, his car Is paid for by parents and he doesn’t actually do anything except basic admin tasks for a few hours a day as his parents own the company. He is very very comfortable.

AIBU to be upset he had several friends message me late at night claiming he was going hungry when In fact im say with rolled up toilet paper in my underwear as I can’t afford sanitary towels and I’m on my period, I have 2 meals in my freezer but nothing for the rest of the week until I get paid on Friday and my bank is wiped out from vet bills just so he can ask for money that wasn’t due to be paid back yet because he wanted more for buying drugs and drinks?

So I should say nothing? I cannot see how ANYone would allow themselves insufficient funds to pay for sanitary protection to go out with a friend who is clearly not a friend. I have an opinion and it is as valid as yours. Why should people reading this post think that this is normal behaviour when it clearly is not. Subsequently, it was stated that the vet bills were unknown at the time, but (to be fair) anyone with a pet needs a contingency fund.

Where did I tell you what to post or that you couldn't?

That's right, I did not. You spent FIVE pages berating the OP, and when you saw how many were being supportive, you changed your tune and tried to post something almost supportive, or had an attack of the guilts. Good for you, though too little, too late in my book.

She explained time and time again and you're too daft to understand this was an unusual situation she had not planned for, or do you struggle with putting a few letters together and understanding what they say?
So no, your opinion is sadly invalid.

Again? Have you actually read what he’s been stated.

when she went out her sanitary protection was covered by the wages she told this person she can’t and wouldn’t use then completely separately an unforeseen event caused her to have to use said money on a vet bill.

so yet again SHE DID NOT GO OUT DRINKING LEAVING HER NO MONEY FOR SANITARY PROTECTION.

Yes, and people who live on the fringes, who have it rough month to month, year to year, decade to decade should never, ever, spend even a penny on anything except what the middle/upper class deems allowable. They should be able to materialize a savings account out of thin air, according to you.

Does your halo ever get tarnished? Does the pedestal you have put yourself upon ever get a crack? Do you ever get vertigo looking down upon the people not living life the way you think they should?

I can only yearn to be as perfect as some of you here. 👌

Actually, I would rather jump into a bed of 🐍 than to pretend to be as perfect as some of you pretend to be. 💔

Yes you should say nothing if you can’t even be bothered to get the facts correct before commenting and passing judgement.

you are making facts up.

You put this beautifully.

Yes sir.

I get you, @m00rfarm . You can get a pack of 10 sanpro for 59p. I think I would have stocked up on a 2/3 packs before spending money elsewhere.

Would there be anyone else you could borrow the £40 from until Friday so that you can get this arsehole off your back?

making shit up then not happy your getting pulled up on it so leaving a snarky retort.

shows exactly what type of person you are.

I'm not being patronising..
I've been in your situation.
Deciding if to buy a loaf of bread or tampax until pay day..
Please let me have your PayPal and let me send you the £40 then you can pay him back or buy sanitary wear.
Then tell him to fuck off.

Which bits were made up? To my mind, anyone who cannot afford 60p or so for sanitary protection should not be in charge of an animal. Maybe I prefer animals to people.

Hello everyone.

As we usually do in these circs, we're putting our heads round the door with some important reminders.

Right now we can't see any evidence to indicate that the OP isn't above board – if we did, we'd remove the thread straight away. But the truth is that, sadly, we at MNHQ can't know with 100% certainty that any poster is genuine, no matter who they are or how long they have been here. As frustrating as it is, we're not able to vouch for anyone here.

So we always ask users to remember that not everyone on the internet is who they say they are – and remind folk not to give more to another poster, either financially (in cash or gifts) or emotionally (in time or care and support) than they'd be prepared to lose if things went wrong. We strongly advise against parting with any cash or giving away your personal details, and if you receive a PM which makes you uneasy - report it to us and we’ll take a look.

Sorry to hijack your thread briefly there, OP – we really hope you get it all sorted soon.

He's no friend. A friend would have bought you a drink rather than lent you the money to buy your own.

this is what you posted and what I replied.

m00rfarm · Today 18:51
Have you really never had enough money for sanitary protection but gone out with a so called friend for drinks? I couldn’t allow that to happen to me.
Show quote history
Again? Have you actually read what he’s been stated.

GINKYPIG
when she went out her sanitary protection was covered by the wages she told this person she can’t and wouldn’t use then completely separately an unforeseen event caused her to have to use said money on a vet bill.

so yet again SHE DID NOT GO OUT DRINKING LEAVING HER NO MONEY FOR SANITARY PROTECTION.

Then you posted this and I replied

m00rfarm · Today 20:29
So I should say nothing? I cannot see how ANYone would allow themselves insufficient funds to pay for sanitary protection to go out with a friend who is clearly not a friend. I have an opinion and it is as valid as yours. Why should people reading this post think that this is normal behaviour when it clearly is not. Subsequently, it was stated that the vet bills were unknown at the time, but (to be fair) anyone with a pet needs a contingency fund.

GINKYPIG
Show quote history
Yes you should say nothing if you can’t even be bothered to get the facts correct before commenting and passing judgement.

you are making facts up.

so stop acting like this was about the animals because it wasn’t.

You are bringing animals up now because you know you can’t justify your previous comments without looking judgemental and unable to actually read the content that had been posted. Now you are acting as if you were talking about them the whole time when again simply reading back shows they were nothing to with the previous posts you made.

so like I said making up facts that are not actually true to justify your judgemental posts.
then when you can’t justify it you bring up the animals as if that was what you were saying in the first place.

so like I said shows what kind of person you are.

People have been very harsh with you, life sounds hard living hand to mouth, month after month. I'm glad you have your cats, what you need now are better friends.

She is getting a really hard time and I don't understand at all.
She's prioritised animal care over her own needs.
OP as lots have said, he is no friends. Keep the block on, pay back and head up high.

This is absolutely vile behaviour from him, it sounds like he wants control over you! I'd class that as harassment! To get 2 male friends to message you! It would be a strong worded message telling him to leave you alone and a block!

He’s a dick. Message him and say: “When you insisted that I came out drinking, I very clearly told you that if you lent me money to accompany you I would not be able to pay it before x date. To then receive multiple messages from your acquaintances demanding earlier repayment made it clear that you had been talking about me behind my back, as well as not being truthful about what we had actually agreed. I will repay the money on x date but our friendship has run its course.” Then block the drug-using, lying manipulative waste of time.

Very moving x

Exactly.

He's used you for company, instead of genuinely wanting to spend time with you.

Now he's went back on the shit deal, lied about you to his friends, and let them harass you.

Pay the £40 when you get paid and be rid of him.

I’ve kept him blocked along with everyone mutual we know (as in friends of his). There’s no point in him messaging, I won’t have the money until I said I will.

It’s a friend gone, but very clearly not to be counted as a loss. He has form for things like this so I’m just done with it.

Op I grew up very poor so I know how you feel. I don’t treat myself even now when I have extra money. Places like aldi and Lidl have a pack of pads for like £50p each please stock up on them for times like this.

Food banks are all very well, Asda does sanitary/cosmetic products bank, no idea if you can ask and get some, but don’t you need a referral from your GP or something to use the food bank? Yeah, I know nothing about this, I just chuck stuff in the trolleys at the exit.