Would you move tables at a Cafe?

[Southlondoner88]

So I’m inclined to say before I begin that maybe I was being a bit unreasonable but with good reason.

I am studying for really intense exams this week, had to get myself out of the house before I go insane so I came to a local Cafe Nero to do some work and have lunch. I chose a booth for 4 people partly because it was the only seat available when I first came in that looked comfortable and in the quiet area down the back. I would never sit at large booth on my own if this was a restaurant or a pub but it’s a chain, a lot of people do this and I see it all the time.

I was in deep intense study, earphones on, feeling great about myself and my productivity when a woman with her husband and adult child (I’m assuming) came to tap me on the shoulder. She asked if I could sit in the booth on the other side of me, there no please, excuse me or even a smile. I thought about it for a second, this is something I would normally agree to, I have previously swapped bus seats or airplane seats so children can sit together etc and would normally do this without being asked. If they were elderly or had toddlers/ babies or even if they just seemed nice I may have moved as I am a genuinely a nice person(people pleaser). However, after a quick scan of the situation, I politely declined and said I need this booth as there’s a charging socket here. I also didn’t really think they absolutely needed it, there were other seats/ tables free but I guess they wanted a booth. I also might have been persuaded if she was polite but I found her tone quite rude from the beginning and I was proved right because as soon as I declined, she said ‘so your just going to take up a booth because you need to charge your laptop?’ I then just said no again and turned away to which I was then called an ‘arrogant bitch.’ They clearly wanted an argument so I tried to ignore. They sat down at the booth in question and just pulled another seat over so it’s not as if they had nowhere to sit. They also sat there for no longer than 10 minutes and when they left, the woman turned to me and said ‘ hope you have a really shit rest of the day,’ again in a very aggressive tone.

I just think wow, it’s a public, chain cafe where seats are first come, first serve.. why on earth would you even bother someone clearly busy and comfortable when you only wanted to sit there for 10 minutes.

Also I’m not the only one here who is taking up extra space, there’s a couple opposite me sitting at a table for 6. I don’t know why they targeted me, probably because I’m a lone woman and look quite young for my age (been told this and still get ID’d in my 30’s.

it’s really annoyed me and I felt a bit shaky as I hate confrontation.

sorry excessively long post but think it needed context!

I wouldn't have been rude, but I'd have been pissed off again you too for having a whole booth to yourself instead a single table. Why not go to a library after you've eaten if you want to work somewhere different.

OP has explained why she wasn't at the library

It's not so black and white though.

Being there first isn't the point.

A booth is usually for a group.

She didn't need her laptop plugged in all the time. Most batteries last for several hours.

There were other tables free though?

@Southlondoner88 You keep going on about it being a 'chain'. That makes no difference at all. I don't get your thinking on this.

Lots of restaurants are chains, as are pubs, as are cafes.

Most reasonable people would be happy to move to allow a family to use 4 places.

I think she was rude but that was after your said no.

It doesn't make her right but you were not very helpful.

Of course she could have sat with you in the booth and grabbed another chair as well- I bet you'd have moved then!

I don't understand it TBH.
If they wanted 3 seats and there was another booth free, why ask?

Are there booths for 2 or 4 people?

I've never seen booths in Cafe Nero, as it happens.

Would you think differently if rather than working she had taken a book and was spending a few hours reading?

A booth has more purposes than accommodating a group.

Groups don't automatically trump singles when it comes to getting their ideal space. They can split up, cram into a smaller space or go elsewhere.

Airplane seats are for hours. Moving for people who were stopping for a very quick coffee in a cafe with plenty of space available that they could sit in just because they wanted the seats you were in is stupid.

It's very very weird when there are places to sit as a group to expect someone to move because just like their table more than the others that are free. That's super weird.

I’m with you on this given you said you’d have moved if they were more polite. I’d have moved if someone politely asked me too but if they’re horrible about it I don’t.

Pretty sure the manager would have looked around the room at all the other free tables that fitted 4 people and tell them to sit there. Who the hell expects people to move just because they like those seats better?

As explained there was nowhere else to sit when she arrived. There were other free large tables it is ridiculous to expect her to keep table hopping every time people decided they liked her table more.

Hi OP, I'm sorry that you were verbally abused and have every right to be upset by this. However, you were selfish in not swapping booths for the group with the larger number of people which included a child.
Also, I think some people take max advantage of coffee shops with WFH

There were other tables free that sat 4. She wasn't stopping the cafe earning

The way I see it, I am entitled to take up the one seat I am sat upon and the space on the table immediately opposite that seat. I don't have the right to tell other paying customers that they cannot use three empty seats that happen to be near me. The only excuse would be if you were waiting for three friends, even then they could still sit before those three turned up.

a very close friend of mine does and without the wfh crowd it would be empty in between breakfast and lunch

My cousin does as well. She lives in a university town near both universities, so her coffee shop is always full of students and academics. She has lots of big tables because the students often like to spread out, and all the tables around the walls are near sockets for laptops. She's had some complaints by the likes of some of the people on here who think that people shouldn't be working or studying there, but they aren't the main source of income, so she politely tells them that they may want to go to the Costa down the road.
She also provides free refills of coffee with a student union card, so that gets whinged about as well as her no under 18's policy. Oddly enough she's always busy and has a wall of graduation photos given to her by grateful students.
My cousin is awesome 😎

If she’d said to me ‘I hope you have a shit rest of the day!’ I’d have smiled massively and said really cheerfully ‘you too!’ What a dick. I would have just laughed when she called me an arrogant bitch and said ‘ I haven’t just asked someone already seated to move, go say your insult to the mirror love’ then I’d have bade a show of sprawling myself all over my nice comfy booth. Always be unconcerned about the noises coming from random aresholes. Life is much better when you do that.

Because they feel insecure and feel really really shit about themselves and they feel losing this small thing is the last straw.

Why isn't it ok. Cafes are used for many things. Are they allowed to be used for parent and toddler groups? Business meeting? What are they allowed to be used for in your mind. If you are consuming the cafe doesn't require you to sit staring at the wall and drunk your coffee you know.

How is using one seat and buying a coffee BORDERLINE ok? wtf do you think cafes are for?

It’s not your office.

Just as it's not up to you either.

But, judging by the replies on this thread...most people agree with me. OP was a CF.

Tbh, one person in a booth would have annoyed me but I would not have said anything.

I would never sit at large booth on my own if this was a restaurant or a pub but it’s a chain, a lot of people do this and I see it all the time.

I don't understand why it being a chain cafe is relevant here?

This woman sounds obnoxious and I probably wouldn't have moved for her either, especially if there were other free tables.

Amazing how you don't extend the courtesy to others. You would have no idea why someone is sitting where you wanted. Maybe it's near the toilet. Maybe they have mental health issues.

Maybe you should apply the kindness and consideration you expect other people to apply for you to others.

You're fine OP - plenty of times when I go in a coffee shop there's a manager in one of the back tables/booths (where it's quiet) doing the books.

That was the best seat available for you when you came in, and that's fine, that's how it is, you are under no obligation to switch around just because something smaller becomes available (or in this case, just because someone wanted your particular seat)