Would you move tables at a Cafe?

[Southlondoner88]

So I’m inclined to say before I begin that maybe I was being a bit unreasonable but with good reason.

I am studying for really intense exams this week, had to get myself out of the house before I go insane so I came to a local Cafe Nero to do some work and have lunch. I chose a booth for 4 people partly because it was the only seat available when I first came in that looked comfortable and in the quiet area down the back. I would never sit at large booth on my own if this was a restaurant or a pub but it’s a chain, a lot of people do this and I see it all the time.

I was in deep intense study, earphones on, feeling great about myself and my productivity when a woman with her husband and adult child (I’m assuming) came to tap me on the shoulder. She asked if I could sit in the booth on the other side of me, there no please, excuse me or even a smile. I thought about it for a second, this is something I would normally agree to, I have previously swapped bus seats or airplane seats so children can sit together etc and would normally do this without being asked. If they were elderly or had toddlers/ babies or even if they just seemed nice I may have moved as I am a genuinely a nice person(people pleaser). However, after a quick scan of the situation, I politely declined and said I need this booth as there’s a charging socket here. I also didn’t really think they absolutely needed it, there were other seats/ tables free but I guess they wanted a booth. I also might have been persuaded if she was polite but I found her tone quite rude from the beginning and I was proved right because as soon as I declined, she said ‘so your just going to take up a booth because you need to charge your laptop?’ I then just said no again and turned away to which I was then called an ‘arrogant bitch.’ They clearly wanted an argument so I tried to ignore. They sat down at the booth in question and just pulled another seat over so it’s not as if they had nowhere to sit. They also sat there for no longer than 10 minutes and when they left, the woman turned to me and said ‘ hope you have a really shit rest of the day,’ again in a very aggressive tone.

I just think wow, it’s a public, chain cafe where seats are first come, first serve.. why on earth would you even bother someone clearly busy and comfortable when you only wanted to sit there for 10 minutes.

Also I’m not the only one here who is taking up extra space, there’s a couple opposite me sitting at a table for 6. I don’t know why they targeted me, probably because I’m a lone woman and look quite young for my age (been told this and still get ID’d in my 30’s.

it’s really annoyed me and I felt a bit shaky as I hate confrontation.

sorry excessively long post but think it needed context!

Yes, single women. Make way for the "families" 🙄

You don't 'need' it in the sense that nobody 'needs' to go out to a cafe. It's not like it's a plane or a bus.

What would you have done if there was a group in that booth? Would you also have asked them to move? And what if they had said no, as would be within their rights?

Surely if you 'need' a certain type of seating arrangement, you should only go to places where you can book this in advance, and not expect strangers to inconvenience themselves for your family?

How much did you buy? Would a library not have been more suitable? An independent cafe could be relying on the income a table of 3 generates - not a 'one coffee every 3 hours' pseudo office worker.

She bought LUNCH, not just a coffee. Probably spent more than any other person in the café

Our local coffee shop is used like an office for one or actual business meetings & the owners encourage it when they're buying coffees etc. What a horrible woman OP. She obviously has issues & uses any excuse to spit her venom. If there were plenty of other seats why would you choose an occupied booth. You could have been waiting on people. That's what I usually say when people impinge on my space. Good luck with your exams.

Her behaviour was outrageous and you were doing nothing wrong. I would only expect you to offer to move if there had been no other table available to accomodate a party of their size. Id have put my headphones back on and ignored her after what she said. Id have gone out of my way not to look atvher when she left. Entitled areshole.

Fuck her. Nasty bitch.

My attitude to this sort of request is always 'How would they feel if I wanted to sit down with the three of them?' My guess is they'd be furious. Exactly. Eating out on your own, which I do a lot, is difficult enough without randoms encroaching on your space. It's a kind of subtle bullying 'There are 2/3/4 of us and one of you so move over.'

If another lone diner/luncher asks to share my table, I'm more than happy. You're not going to have to tune one other person out.

I just think wow, it’s a public, chain cafe where seats are first come, first serve.. why on earth would you even bother someone clearly busy and comfortable when you only wanted to sit there for 10 minutes.

I expect the plan was to sit and have a pleasant meal or hot drinks - but she was too angry to stay, and wanted to make a point that you had inconvenienced her.

She was rude, but it is also rude to treat a cafe like your private study, whether or not is is a "chain cafe".

Absolutely.

@Southlondoner88 needed a socket. Why is that less important than the later customer's desire for a particular table? And the OP spent a bit of money - lunch at Caffé Nero would be in the region of £8 to £10 - at least as much as a party of 3 having coffee.

A slight YABU for hogging a booth to.wotk.at, even if you did have lunch and coffee. I know people do, but I always find it a bit rude to linger for a long time after finishing my drink/ food. That said, a lot of places encourage this. This is more of a me thing than necessarily off.

YANBU for not moving when you are settled, have bought stuff etc. just because someone has ordered you to move.

'Entitled' doesn't mean what you think it means. However, the OP isn't selfish, presumptuous or arrogant, either.

HTH.

And when i do this, about once a week (because the library in my town has closed) I buy breakfast, a hot chocolate, a coffee and sometime piece of cake and often also lunch with another soft drink and coffee. At a minimum I spend £25 l, often more over a couple of hours, occupy a table (and spend), during the quiet bit between school drop off and lunchtime and spend way more than the people that come in in that time to chat with a friend or read the paper and buy 1 or 2 coffees. I think people saying you shouldn't work/study in a chain cafe for a few hours should ask the owners of Cafe Nero, Costa, Starbucks what they think about it and whether they'd be happy to lose that custom (and why, with every refit, they add more and more plug sockets to every table).

I'll give you a clue, straight from a friend who is a marketing manager for one of the above, because mobile workers are seen as a vital part of their business strategy.

YABVU to hog a table for 4 when on your own.

There's no special rule for chain pubs.

Yes they could have asked nicer. But you behaved like a dick

I'm with you on this. I WFH and occasionally need a change of scene. I go to my nearest coffee chain too, choose a comfortable table with socket nearby, and ensure I order 2/3 drinks and snack over the time I'm there, which I consider equates to the table being used by a larger group.

Hmm - if you were still eating your lunch then she was being rude - but if you were sat there only 'intensely studying' with half a cup of cold coffee next to you then you might have irritated me too; you could have just been on Youtube, WhatsCrap, etc for all anyone could tell. Are you sure you didn't look a bit arsey yourself when you were first disturbed from your self-absorption by the tap on your shoulder?

Although I would have prefaced my polite request with a could, would or may and ended with a please. My tone would depend on how arsey you first looked.

Rubbish. She had every right to sit at any table if there were others free.

It helps if you can read:

the OP said she bought lunch. That's far more than most people buy in a Caffé Nero (I use this chain daily so I do see what people are buying...)

Even if there were no other tables free, she wouldn't have been obliged to move for these people.

She also wouldn't have been able to stop them sitting in the free seats at 'her' table either, but I doubt this is what they wanted.

And cafes dont care about how many arses are sitting on seats. They care about turnover and how much people spend. If someone working or studying as i observe weekly, comes in and but at least 1 meal and a couple of drinks, aften more, they have already spent more than that rude family spent on 3 drinks for 10 minutes. Pearl clutching over size of table is ludicrous. Its about spend, as long as everyone can sit somewhere. And chains dont even care about that, as people will just get takeaways.

Independents are missing a trick here imo.

I'd probably have moved for a family of 4, but the main thing is that she was rude and unpleasant.

Tough

What a very rude and entitled attitude you have.

💯

Yes she is.

HTH

No more rude and entitled than someone thinking they have a right to tell another paying customer to move out of a seat because they feel more entitled to it 😀