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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To kick him out 3 days after he moved in!?

391 replies

YourRubyBee · 04/07/2024 17:49

Hi all, I have been with my boyfriend for about a year, he had never been to my house (my choice) and instead I stayed at his parents house with him 3 nights a week and we went out etc. I moved house last week and he was meant to be moving in with me. Unfortunately the house move fell during the week he was away on a lads holiday that was booked months ago.

He came back from his holiday Monday night and came straight to the new house. He has effectively been in bed since. He has gotten up a few times, once to shower and once to make a sandwich, other than that he has been in bed (mostly asleep). At one point he bought an airbed downstairs and slept on it on the living room floor because there are no blinds in the bedroom yet and the sun was in his eyes and the 'couch is uncomfy' (this was during school hours and he went back upstairs to bed when my kids were due home).

I have done the house move, organising everything, cooking, cleaning, laundry, shopping, school runs etc alone. I am looking after the kids (mine from a previous relationship) and the dog. He put a lampshade the night he got here and has done precisely nothing since. He says he has a sore throat but it feels like an excuse. To be fair to him he was saying he had a sore throat whilst on holiday but still managed to go out drinking every night. He is a qualified tradesman but he isnt working right now.

I have asked him to get up and come downstairs, walk the dog with me, have tea together etc (I am currently making him meals and he is eating them in bed).

What would you do? Is this a sign of things to come? He did spend alot of time in bed whilst we stayed at his parents house but I assumed it was because we spent our time together up there watching films etc because his parents were downstairs.

Any advice please

OP posts:
SoComplicated · 04/07/2024 18:44

Why did you ask him to move in with you when he’s not working? Does that mean you will be paying for him to live there as well as making all his meals to eat in your bed?

Iaminthefly · 04/07/2024 18:44

Why the fuck have you moved a man you've known a solitary year into your chidrens home? Are you really that desperate to have a man around? Your poor kids. I pity them having a mum with such little regard for their welfare.

Iaminthefly · 04/07/2024 18:45

And he doesn't even have a job?? Jesus Christ woman. What's wrong with you?

FOJN · 04/07/2024 18:45

Send him back to mummy and daddy before he gets too comfortable.

ActualChips · 04/07/2024 18:46

Lifechanging12 · 04/07/2024 18:43

A house move is a big change for everyone especially kids. Why have you invited a guy you’ve only been with for a year to live with you?

Where were your kids when you stayed with his parents 3 days a week?

She made them go along to the boyfriends parents house for a sleepover. The mind boggles.

Bex071509 · 04/07/2024 18:46

Mrsttcno1 · 04/07/2024 17:51

I’d give him a minute OP, if his lads holiday was anything like my girls holidays I was always good for absolutely nothing for a week afterwards recovering and catching up on sleep

are you being serious?!
OP- kick him out! He sounds like a man child!

Stropalotopus83 · 04/07/2024 18:47

Aside from all the other issues - if he isn't currently working how was he supposed to be paying his share of the bills? Was there a discussion about this? Did you just agree to him moving in with no way of contributing? Odd.

BuggeryBumFlaps · 04/07/2024 18:48

If he's not working how is he going to contribute towards household expenses?

Tbh I'd not even bother with a response from him about the above and boot his arse out. If he was well enough to go out with mates he's well enough to pull his weight now

LakeTiticaca · 04/07/2024 18:48

Have a serious conversation with him
Either he gets a job and starts shaping himself or he's out.
A skilled tradesman shouldn't be short of a job

CleansUpButWouldPreferNotTo · 04/07/2024 18:48

Cor blimey - sincerely hope your contraception is effective... chuck this loser immediately!

pinkyredrose · 04/07/2024 18:48

Yuk. I bet your vagina has shrivelled up. To give it a chance of future hydration kick this waste of space out. Immediately. Like right now!

Lifechanging12 · 04/07/2024 18:49

ActualChips · 04/07/2024 18:46

She made them go along to the boyfriends parents house for a sleepover. The mind boggles.

WTAF…

Mummyoflittledragon · 04/07/2024 18:50

Julyshouldbesunny · 04/07/2024 17:58

Congratulations on your new teenage ds...

😂😂

Skyrainlight · 04/07/2024 18:50

I'd get him out now before the parents realise what a joy it is to not have him there and say they don't want him back.

Beautiful3 · 04/07/2024 18:50

Congratulations you now have a man child.

SamW98 · 04/07/2024 18:50

ActualChips · 04/07/2024 18:46

She made them go along to the boyfriends parents house for a sleepover. The mind boggles.

Jesus Christ I missed that bit. Those poor kids being dragged to stay at a relative strangers house so mummy can get a shag.

Dear God - yet another MN thread where dick gets prioritised over kids. Its grim as fuck

BarcardiWithGadaffia · 04/07/2024 18:51

Still trying to puzzle out why this is a question you need the internet's help with

WittyFatball · 04/07/2024 18:52

Come on, you have children! You need to start making some sensible decisions.

Notamum12345577 · 04/07/2024 18:53

Lifechanging12 · 04/07/2024 18:43

A house move is a big change for everyone especially kids. Why have you invited a guy you’ve only been with for a year to live with you?

Where were your kids when you stayed with his parents 3 days a week?

At their dads?

YourRubyBee · 04/07/2024 18:53

Getonwitit · 04/07/2024 18:42

You dragged your children from their home to your new boyfriends parents house so you could have sex ! FFS. Put your children first.

What!? Who said this!? We went there for a bbq with all his family, they were having a great time and asked if we could stay over. My children are teenagers and were enjoying themselves.

OP posts:
maw1681 · 04/07/2024 18:54

Just no, chuck him out!

Notamum12345577 · 04/07/2024 18:54

Getonwitit · 04/07/2024 18:42

You dragged your children from their home to your new boyfriends parents house so you could have sex ! FFS. Put your children first.

Isn’t exactly what she said is it

Lifechanging12 · 04/07/2024 18:54

Notamum12345577 · 04/07/2024 18:53

At their dads?

I thought that could be a possibility but I saw in one of Op’s updates and by another posters reply she had them stay at his parents house!!!

sandyhappypeople · 04/07/2024 18:54

Why did he never come to your house OP, did you live with your parents previously?

YourRubyBee · 04/07/2024 18:54

Lifechanging12 · 04/07/2024 18:43

A house move is a big change for everyone especially kids. Why have you invited a guy you’ve only been with for a year to live with you?

Where were your kids when you stayed with his parents 3 days a week?

They are with their dad 3 days a week

OP posts: