"I vote for who my husband tells me to"

[Applescruffel]

A few years ago, a family member shocked me by saying, yeah, I do vote but I don't know anything about it so I just vote for whoever DH says.

My jaw dropped. Honestly, WTAF?

I advised her to go on isidewith and answer the questions, see what it comes back with. I asked her a few days later if she had, and she said yes, it came back with X party. BUT THEN SHE SAID "but DH wants XX party so I'm going with them" Jaw hit the floor.

Anyway, I'm wondering how common it is. Have any of you ever voted for someone someone else told you to?

yabu - yes, I've voted as per someone else's instructions
yanbu - no, I've always voted according to what I want.

As you say, we have a family member, female who says this.My jaw nearly hit the floor too.This was sometimes the way in the past but happening right now….
unbelievable isn’t it?

Women. Know your limits

My mum has a friend who ‘isn’t allowed’ to vote for her party.

She HAS to vote for who her husband wants.

And they do postal votes so there’s no chance to just sneak off.

It’s so weird.

My parents were controlling and tried to tell me to vote Labour when I was younger. I told them I had voted for labour but really I hadn't. I just told them that to save the row at the time.

I do know a couple of older women who say they vote for who their husband tells them to.

It's a secret ballot, though, so possibly (I hope) some of these women have said this because their husband is there or might have the conversation reported to him, but once in the booth have voted for someone else. Grim, though.

Gosh. That's a problem with postal votes I hadn't really thought about. One in every four or five votes cast now is a postal vote. Hmm.

I knew a woman who was tragically widowed relatively young - in her 40s. I met her in her 70s. She told me she had never voted at all since he died because he used to go along to the polling station with her and told her how to vote. She didn't feel competent to go along by herself and make a decision herself after he died.
I was really shocked at this.

Surely this must be a criminal offence of some sort, to coerce someone into voting a particular way?

Utterly depressing that some women are prepared to put up with this!

YANBU
but my parents have a huge interest in politics, so taught me to think for myself and vote for who I want.

However,I worked with a woman who said she didn't understand politics so voted for whoever her DH said.

Naturally I had to correct that! 😁

Her "D"H was furious with me because now she can hold a discussion and debate about politics and she votes for who she wants.

One of my proudest moments. No regrets.

I’ve worked in care for years (dementia and adults with learning disabilities) - the people I looked after get a postal vote, which a family member fills in.

So basically the family member gets two votes.

It’s wildly unfair.

Yes I knew a woman like this.

She tried to talk to him sensibly but he wasn’t having it.

There was only one option- she went with laburnum, easy to disguise but unfortunately a little bit of an uncomfortable death. A real pity but ahh what can you do?

The roses in that part of the back garden are doing amazingly though so that’s good.

Yes, I do wish that some of my posts were true.

Yep I have known a few women like this, sadly. Though they have all been women born pre 1960s. I am early 1970s born - so not much younger, but like fluff would my DH tell me how to vote!

I don't even tell him! He tells me but I don't tell him. I don't tell anyone. It's called a Secret Ballot for a reason!

Shocking that (some) women let their husband rule them! Even in 2024!

I am a feisty and independent free spirit, and my DH knows better than to try to tell me what to do! This is one of the things that attracted him to me. My fieriness and independent spirit...

I am also willing to bet these bossy men who TELL their women how to vote, do NOT vote Green, Liberal Democrats, or Labour. Defo UKIP, Reform, or Tory!

Also, how can they enforce what their wife does? You go into the little cubicle on your own, and it's kind of cordoned off. How are these controlling husbands ensuring their wife votes how they tell her to?

My DH, (75yo) voted for the first time for Reform, as a lifetime Conservative voter.
I cannot vote in GE (not a British citizen) so
"I told him" to vote this way and he was happy.
So was I.
😁

Haha, I hope so

🤔

Utterly depressing that some women are prepared to put up with this!

Is it not more depressing that some men force their views on to women and control them? Some women in this situation will likely be being abused and controlled every day and feel they can't leave. It's the men that are the issue.

Shocking that (some) women let their husband rule them! Even in 2024

Again, isn't it more shocking that these men are acting like this?

All of us are influenced to some degree I suppose

It is, but you can't police it, especially with postal votes unless its some kind of large scale electoral fraud. All the electoral fraud happens through postal voting so the ID business is useless.

My 77 year old dad would no more think he could influence my mum's vote than he could fly.

And to be fair, it goes both ways.

My dh tells me his "opinion" but obviously I vote for who i like

I have a mind of my own and so does my husband. It so happens that we both have the same values and both vote the same way.

Yes that's why asking people to produce ID in polling stations, where virtually no identity fraud took place, whilst totally relaxing the rules around postal voting, where abuses as you describe are regular occurrences, was absolutely ridiculous.

My husband couldn't care less and hasn't a clue about politics. He asks me to tell him how to vote every time.

I don't see why you think that's amusing.