"I vote for who my husband tells me to"

[Applescruffel]

A few years ago, a family member shocked me by saying, yeah, I do vote but I don't know anything about it so I just vote for whoever DH says.

My jaw dropped. Honestly, WTAF?

I advised her to go on isidewith and answer the questions, see what it comes back with. I asked her a few days later if she had, and she said yes, it came back with X party. BUT THEN SHE SAID "but DH wants XX party so I'm going with them" Jaw hit the floor.

Anyway, I'm wondering how common it is. Have any of you ever voted for someone someone else told you to?

yabu - yes, I've voted as per someone else's instructions
yanbu - no, I've always voted according to what I want.

…but you don’t have to be influenced by someone else! You listen to the arguments for and against and make your own decision.

In my country we have to bring the postal vote to the local police station. Show ID to prove we are who we claim to be and then go away to a private room or corner and cast our vote. So the ballot is just as secret as if we voted in a polling station.

Does that not happen in the UK?

No, it doesn't. I've never had a postal vote but I gather you apply for one and it gets sent through the post, so you cast your vote at home in your own time. You then either send it back through the post or hand it in at the polling station. In the latter case I assume ID is checked. No idea how it works otherwise.

A friend of ours applied for a postal vote for the London Mayoral election as he was going to be away on a business trip at the time. He was very surprised to find that he was automatically sent a postal vote for the General Election too. It seems to be the case that once you've applied for it once you get it sent automatically until you ask to go back to voting in person.

I'm going to assume you have never been in an abusive relationship and have no idea how much it breaks you.

In our country you cannot bring a postal vote to the polling station. It will not be accepted. It has to be posted.

Is there no requirement in the UK to prove your ID before postal vote? That seems like a huge flaw. Any body could fill it in.

We have to bring our ID and documentation to the police station. Sign the form in front of the police officer, who witnesses the signature. We then show them an empty ballot paper and then go and vote. We put the ballot paper into the envelope in front of the police officer, seal the envelope and post it.

My sister used to ask me who to vote for , and every time I would refuse but tell her the key points from their manifestos. I'm really proud of the fact that she now reads the manifestos herself , summarises them for her daughters and hasn't asked me for years.

This is bad but I must admit, DP has no interest in current politics and has been purposefully avoiding the news for months. When it came to voting last week, he rally didn’t know what to do. So our 17 yo DD told him to vote Green because that’s what she would have done, and he did.

I think the sadder bit is some women have grown up and lived their lives under the impression that their opinion is less than or doesn't matter.

My wife asked who to vote for, I refused to tell her who is voted for until we’d both voted.

As I say, I've never done it myself, but here's the government guidance, which says ID has to be provided at the point of requesting one. From that point on, it looks like it's all done on trust.

https://www.gov.uk/apply-postal-vote

I’ve read some of these replies with horror. If someone is literally being told what to vote they’re giving their vote away to someone else, which isn’t exactly the idea of democracy.

I wonder if each vote should be qualified by some basic understanding of what you’re voting for.

Well, you are absolutely entitled to your opinion.
What I'm gonna do is sit quietly for couple more years, until my remaining abusive parent in my country disappears, watching this place descend more to hell.
Then I buy a nice apartment in Prague and bide this country a forever good bye.
😂

I wish everyone who feels they don't understand enough to make their own decision would do us all a favour and not vote at all. Such bullshit to ask someone else who to vote for.

As for the PPs who think they have to vote the same way as their partner to avoid votes cancelling, where the fuck do you live? For this to be true I presume there are only two candidates? FFS.

Postal votes are often used for people who can’t get to a local polling station due to age / illness. Lots of people in my uncles’s sheltered accommodation use them.

The ‘local police station’ doesn’t exist - the nearest one is 3 miles away in the centre of town. If they could get there, they’d be able to make it to the polling station half a mile down the road!

The method you describe would prevent from voting exactly the sort of people the system was originally set up for.

I do agree there needs to be a better system of verification, though - maybe people should have to meet requirements (age, ill health etc) for getting one?

Yeah I agree while I understand there are doubts over postal votes due to the risk of coercion etc, it would kind of defeat the purpose of them if people had to go into a local police station.

I think we either have them or we don’t ,but having a version of postal voting where you do at a police station wouldn’t work.

If they are capable of doing that they may as well just go to their polling station.

You can't really limit postal voting by criteria like age or health though, there are many other valid reasons people might not be able to vote in person on the day. Working away from home on the day, holidays, all sorts of reasons. Proxy votes are another option but just as open to abuse I'd have thought.

I've postal voted before as a one off. It was the 2019 election so I don't remember if I had to provide any ID at point of request. Maybe? I have a vague memory of scanning something in. I can see why they do it at point of request now. The ballot paper came in good time though and I posted it off v quickly and easily. I changed address within the constituency shortly afterwards so I've never been automatically sent a postal vote since as that may have "reset" it, although I am sure the website also had options for you to specify it as a one off. I am pretty sure I also specified that I only wanted it for that one time.

The going to a police station wouldn't have worked in my area; ours is now shut and I would have to go out of my way to the nearest. I was staying with my parents over the election, hence the PV; their local police station has gone as well so same issue. I would've had to go to one near work I think, which I feel removes the point of the convenience to the voter of a postal vote, which is a bigger problem when voter turn out is low - unless they agree other places can host instead. I certainly hope such a system doesn't reach the UK.

Good thing we're all different then, isn't it? He's a great man; reduced working hours so we share childcare 50/50, he cooks, cleans, washes the dishes every night, makes me laugh and rubs my back any time I ask.

We live in NI and if you lived here you might be fed up with them all too.

How is going to a police station near where you work inconvenient?

If you're in the vicinity anyway? It's like claiming that your polling station is inconvenient to get to because it's not next door to your house.

People who want to vote will always find ways to cast their vote. People who aren't bothered will find excuses.

It is crucial to acknowledge that not everyone is engaged in politics or motivated to vote, as demonstrated by the recent voter turnout of just 60%, the lowest since 2001.

Here are some common reasons why individuals might choose not to vote or defer to their partner's choice:

Apathy or Disinterest: Some people are simply not interested in politics and do not feel motivated to vote.

Lack of Information: Some voters may feel they do not have enough information about the candidates or issues to make an informed decision.

Distrust in Politicians: A lack of trust in politicians and the political system can lead to voter apathy, with people feeling that their vote will not make a difference.

Disillusionment: Previous experiences or outcomes from elections might leave some people feeling disillusioned or skeptical about the impact of their vote.

Practical Barriers: Logistical issues such as being unable to get to the polling station, not being registered to vote, or having other commitments on election day can prevent people from voting.

Feeling of Inefficacy: Some individuals might believe that their single vote does not matter in the grand scheme of things, especially in constituencies with a strong majority for one party.

Election Fatigue: Frequent elections or referendums can lead to voter fatigue, causing people to skip participating.

Perception of Predictability: In some cases, if an election outcome seems predictable, people might not feel compelled to vote because they think their vote won't change the result.

I am part of a few family members who provide care to an adult relative with LDs.
I did her postal vote this year. I read her the statement from each of the candidates, and she chose the person she liked the sound of best (a local GP, in this case). It wouldn't be who I would have voted for, but it's super important to let her have her voice.
At least it wasn't the Tories.....😉

I proxy voted for my parents once years ago, because they were on holiday. I think it might have been 2015 GE....
It was the same polling station as me, so they were VERY confused as to why I turned up with three polling cards, despite me having all of the information/letters with me, as it had all been done in good time. At no point did they check my ID (I've remembered, because I was quite bemused), and they just gave me three voting slips - but not at the same time. They had to be done one at a time, posted in the box, then the next slip....
It was all quite bizarre, and I could have voted for anyone. I didn't obviously. I voted for who my parents had asked.